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Chat at school gate for reception mums

(7 Posts)
orangeplum Tue 24-Feb-09 21:12:04

Hi
I am a working mum so only at school gate occasionally. A lot of the other mums knew each other from nursery and its hard to get to know them properly. What are the unwritten rules for chat at the school gates and best ways to get to know people? I am quite shy and can prattle away about nonsense when i am nervous! I am often not very sure what are the best things to talk about.

Any suggestions v welcome.

edam Tue 24-Feb-09 21:16:18

Um, I knew a lot of mums from nursery so could be one of the people you are talking about. I don't think anyone intends to be stand-offish, it's just you tend to get chatting to people you know.

Suggest just going up to people and saying 'hi', ask them who their child is, how are they settling in (are you talking Jan starters?), just general passing the time of day. Any old conversational standby - even the weather!

oregonianabroad Tue 24-Feb-09 21:17:38

A great conversation starter is a compliment (hopefully genuine).

Eddas Tue 24-Feb-09 21:29:19

i'm a bit like this atm as my dd started in Jan, I do know a fair few of the mums from pre-school but there are a lot of others that i don't know, and tbh because they've all been chatting since Sept I find it hard to talk to any of the ones I didn't already know. Not sure what you can do, maybe nothinghmmI am just trying to suss everyone out atm! I figure i'll wait til dd gets some party invites <<hopeful>> and then maybe try and stick around and chat to some of them.

The playground's a bit of an odd place isn't it

clutteredup Tue 24-Feb-09 21:58:49

Hi , I was the same at the beginning of this term as we have just moved house, so having been on of the know lots of people mums I now know no one. Also I don't get a chance to hang around much as I have to be in 2 places at once to collect my DC from different parts of the school. I have found reception mums more friendly as they haven't known eachother 'forever' like the ones further up the school. My advice is to smile a lot -I keep smiling at everyone and try to notice who comes out with who so if my DD has mentioned a child I can say something to the mother - either that or ask an easy question about something at school like do they have PE the next day or what time are they supposed to be in in the morning because then you can start a conversation ...which one is your's, how are they settling in,the weather, half term, anything....good luck it's hard I know but a lot of mums feel the same so you're not alone - also look out for someone else not talking to anyone they'll probably be feeling like y ou and will be glad to have someone to talk to.

Fennel Wed 25-Feb-09 11:30:47

It takes a bit of time. I've been new at 3 primary gates and gradually integrated. Joining things helps, if you can bear to help at school fetes and similar. Or going to social events (in pursuit of meeting people at new schools I have endured "Mums out of the Kitchen" nights, and a "Fashion show". They have worked, I have made friends, despite the unappealing sound of these events (I am SO much not a mum in the kitchen type, nor a fashion show type).

t875 Thu 26-Feb-09 12:06:32

Well sometimes stand there and not say anything and you will probably find they will talk to you.

Talk about the weather, if they are going on holiday. What class is their child in, whats the teacher like etc.

Very important though dont allow yourself to feel intimidated, feel and tell yourself that you are confident and they should be lucky that you are talking to them.

I started feeling intimidated by a certain woman in my group i stood with and I thought..no you arent worth it and stood tall and confident and wasnt going to budge.

You have as much right to be in that group as anyone else!Chat away!smile

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