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just had meeting with dd's teacher - anyone else been through similar?

(46 Posts)
paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 16:37:56

dd has always had issues with concentration. Now she's in Y1, her teacher is concerned that she's slipping behind. She wants dd to see the school nurse so they can find out if dd has wider concentration issues, or it's just that she's being awkward and choosing to switch off. If they find it's 'chosen' behaviour, they will punish her according to school rules (I think this might be lines, which I'm not too sure about!)
The thing is, if it's something like art or the computer, dd will sit there for ages and do it. I don't think she's that interested in reading, writing and maths. She's in a special group for reading/writing for children who are a bit behind, which she does like as she gets more attention! That's only a small portion of the time though really.
I have to do some extra work with her at home, which I'm not looking forward to! (This is in addition to normal homework).
I guess I'm looking for someone who's had a similar experience, or another teacher's opinion on what they'd do?
(dd is 6 in July btw)

cornsilk Fri 23-Jan-09 16:40:39

Bit dodgy to punish a child for poor concentration.

Watoose Fri 23-Jan-09 16:41:00

She's 5 and they want to punish her for not being able to concentrate on hideously boring work?

FGS that's awful sad

I just met with ds's teacher and they don't do anything like that despite him being really uninterested in writing/reading.

I think it's really sad if they think that way. Presuming their reasoning is that if she has a 'condition' or 'problem' she can't help it - well sorry but five year olds can't help not being able to concentrate, Learning Disability or not.

angry on your behalf.

cat64 Fri 23-Jan-09 16:44:56

Message withdrawn

cornsilk Fri 23-Jan-09 16:46:16

I wonder how the school nurse is going to establish that at age 5.

paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 16:57:23

dd doesn't always follow instructions straight away either, which we can deal with at home but can't be so easy in a school setting. If we punish her at home for that, it just upsets her but doesn't make any difference for next time!
I think her teacher thinks we are too easy on her at home, but the very thing which causes problems at school can be useful to me at home - dd goes into her own 'make believe' world and amuses herself for ages, while I get work/dinner/housework done!

cat64 that's how I took it as well. Not sure about the extra work though, dd has to take what she's done into school too! We have enough problem getting her to do the standard reading and homework..

grouchyoscar Fri 23-Jan-09 16:57:36

DS, also 5 and 6 in July, has simillar issues. The school have been very supportive and have involved the Ed Psych etc.

He has his own agenda, will do computer work for hours but no arty/creative stuff. I also attempt to do additional 'homework' with him but again it is like pulling teeth.

Before the Ed Psych was involved I felt they were looking at punishment rather than support but since the move from YR to Y1 they are trying to be helpful. The initial reaction did make me sad and angry

The School Nurse will be better able to refer to other agencies who can help.

Best of luck with it

TamartorousBeastie Fri 23-Jan-09 17:04:38

How long will the extra work thing last for?

I'm not sure i'd be keen on my child having homework plus more work when they've already spent a day at school.

I echo those who have said hmm@ punishing a 5 year old for acting like one.

paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 17:06:45

glad your school has been supportive grouchyoscar. has your ds improved since they looked at extra support?
dd has been the same since nursery!

LadyMuck Fri 23-Jan-09 17:09:35

Is this really a school nurse type issue? My dcs are at an independent school but for this sort of thing they would see the SENCo who would probably carry out some sort of assessment.

paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 17:11:13

Tamarto I don't know, the teacher didn't say. I am dreading it a bit, it's bad enough getting dd to do the normal stuff. Also dh and I work, and in the evenings (after dd has been to after school club too) we can't always face it. Half of this weekend will be doing school work...

The teacher says to dd, that if she did more work in school she wouldn't need to do extra at home!

paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 17:12:29

LadyMuck that's a good point, maybe she sees the nurse first and then gets referred to someone else? I've no idea how it works!

TotalChaos Fri 23-Jan-09 17:13:40

have you any concerns about her hearing or her understanding of language?

frannikin Fri 23-Jan-09 17:21:12

Read "The Difficult Child" by Stanley Turecki. Not saying your DD is difficult but it has a lot about distractability vs. getting "locked-in" to subjects (difficulty settling down and then difficulty letting go) and following instructions immediately. I find that sometimes I have to either revert to using a time (in 5 minutes you're going to put your shoes on) or reminding in 3 stages (I'm going to ask you to sit up at the table in five minutes. Dinner is going to be on the table in two minutes so you've got two minutes to finish that page you're reading. Please sit up now.)

Some people just have slightly atypical temperaments but teaching your DD to manage her work is going to be necessary at some point. Have to say I wouldn't recommend lines as a method for doing this though...

paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 17:22:30

when she was younger she had glue ear in both ears. We still go for checkups and at the last one, they said her hearing was fine. Things haven't improved though - if anything her teacher says she is worse!

fatzak Fri 23-Jan-09 17:25:32

Sympathies with you Paddington - DS is also 5 and has exactly the same probs as your DD. His main problem is that he just can't sit still and listen at carpet time. So far there has been no concern about his progress but I don't think that he has made a huge amount sad

We have the added complication that he is on medication for seizures, so we don't know if his poor concentration is caused by the meds, by poor sleep due to his seizures, if it's ADHD or if it's just DS!!

paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 17:30:35

fatzak is your ds in reception? dd was the same then too.
dd seems to have a lot of the symptoms of ADHD, but I guess some of them could describe a normal 5 year old! When I try and read with her she fidgets all the time, mind you if it's just me doing the reading she is a bit better... her sleep is OK.

TamartorousBeastie Fri 23-Jan-09 17:31:09

If i were you i'd set aside an appropriate amount of time to do the work anything that isn't done in the time isn't done, no way would i spend all my free time with my kids doing homework hmm

Neither the teacher or the school can realistically expect you to either.

RE. the glue ear, do you ever notice her hearing may be a bit suspect? I ask because my DS2's hearing used to jump up and down really quickly and although he had problems still it wasn't always noticed at appointments.

fatzak Fri 23-Jan-09 18:23:18

He's in Year 1 Paddington. He did reception at one school and we were so unimpressed with how they dealt with his problems that we moved him for Year 1. They are so much better with him and don't just treat him like a naughty boy all the time. His class teacher has even bought him a little mat of his own to sit on during carpet time to try to get him to sit in one place blush

We have given up on both swimming and football as even then he just doesn't listen to what is being said and just spends his time gazing around, doing star jumps, hopping, looking at planes........

neolara Fri 23-Jan-09 18:32:07

Glue ear can come and go and kids are very bad at letting adults know when they can't hear. Also, has her sight been tested recently? It might also be worth checking her understanding of language as you say she often doesn't follow instructions at home. Sometimes kids seem to be able to understand what is said because they watch the others in the classroom. Also some kids find it hard to hold more than one or two simple pieces of info in their head at one time. If the instructions are too complicated, she might just be getting lost.

If the lack of concentration is a real problem, you could ask the school to refer your dd to an educational psychologist who could check out some of the above possibilities in more detail. I'm not sure a school nurse is the right person to refer to in these circumstances.

paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 18:32:52

fatzak this is why I didn't sign dd up for swimming yet - I didn't think she'd follow the teacher's instructions! how is your ds's reading and writing?

I don't think dd's hearing is a problem at the moment, she does seem to hear what we say - sometimes we get her to repeat an instruction back to us. She hears but seems to quickly forget what she's supposed to be doing. For example: the teacher asked her to put a piece of paper on her desk, then put her coat away. dd stood there and did nothing. She could repeat the instruction so must have heard, but after that just put her coat on!!

coppertop Fri 23-Jan-09 18:33:45

It's good that they've recognised that there might possibly be a problem but I really don't think that the school nurse is necessarily the way to go, unless they are going to be talking to you about referrals.

I'm surprised though that they would seriously consider punishing a 5yr-old for not being able to concentrate or follow instructions - particularly when she has a history of glue ear.

If dd can concentrate on the computer or for art, would the teacher (with the help of the SENCO) be able to arrange for this to be used as a way to help dd? eg more computer-based work.

MarmadukeScarlet Fri 23-Jan-09 18:34:01

I wouldn't have thought the school nurse was at all qualified to make any decisions regarding if she cannot help it or is putting it on, that is a job for an Ed psych.

She sounds like my DD did, she has dyspraxia but it took until she was 7 to figure it out.

paddingtonbear1 Fri 23-Jan-09 18:34:21

yes her sight has been tested quite recently, by an optician - he said it was OK.

coppertop Fri 23-Jan-09 18:36:20

Just read your later posts. Ds2 (5) finds following instructions difficult. His is due to auditory processing difficulties and problems with receptive language.

It can help if the teacher gives your dd instructions that are either broken down or in picture form. This made a big difference to ds2.

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