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(9 Posts)
Boysboysboys Thu 22-Jan-09 20:21:52

HI. I have posted a few times but am mainly a luker!

I am feeling quite fragile at the moment so need some perpective on this.
DS is 5 and in reception. He has been in nursery since 7 months, and is generally a happy, bright and popular boy, although most of his friends are girls.

He has (had) a best (female) friend who is in the same school but the other class, and made another friend in his class (another girl). Friend one didn't like friend 2.

However, he has been sobbing his heart out tonight, and keeps asking to not have to go to school. He says friend 1 no longer wants to play with him. His words were that "she doesn't like him anymore". He admits she didn't say this, but that she won't play with him. (I have seen her be quite rude to him as well).

Friend 2 also won't play with him so he had noone to play with at lunchtime. My feeling is that they don't want to play with him as he is a boy, does that seem likely in reception? Should I speak to the teacher? Or should I leave him to work it through?

Please help before I cissolve into tears again! He is (obviously) by PFB!

juuule Thu 22-Jan-09 20:26:39

I would go in and have a word with the teacher to see if she could shed any light on what's happening. If she isn't aware of anything then at least she could watch for a while and then let you know.
You would have a better chance of dealing with things if you know what's going on.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 22-Jan-09 20:28:48

My dds reception class isn't like that. Most of her close friends are girls but the group of girls plats with another group of boys.

I agree with Juule see the teachers

TeriHatchetJob Thu 22-Jan-09 20:29:01

Poor You! If I were you, I would have a quiet word with his class teacher, explaining your concerns.

I'm sure he/she would put your mind at rest that your little one is doing fine and would also look out for him being on his own. They could reassure you that the playtime supervisors would help him out with playing with others.

I bet his two little friends are just deciding to stick together as girls at the moment and I'm sure your boy will soon gravitate towards some boys.

Little ones are so resilient and very good at making friends at this age so please don't worry unnecessarily.

Boysboysboys Thu 22-Jan-09 20:31:29

Thank you! I think I will speak to his teacher in the morning. He had been loving school so it was all a bit upsetting! I know I am projecting, I was bullied at primary and I REALLY don't want him to go through it!

Dozymare Thu 22-Jan-09 20:36:47

boysboys My DS is also in reception - he refused point blank to play with the girls, despite the girls wanting to play with DS and his friends (male).

We had a very similar situation (boy played with girls, girls then didn't want to play with him, he didn't really "know" the other boys as had played with the girls IYSWIM) - the mum spoke to the teacher and she "buddied" up the boy with my DS who in turn, introduced him to the other boys. I am sure it is a really common problem.

Could you perhaps encourage him to invite another child form the class home for a playdate?

Boysboysboys Thu 22-Jan-09 20:38:48

I think I might. I know a couple of boys in his class, maybe one could come back. He went to a party on saturday, and wanted to colour in. But he wouldn't because all the girls were and he didn't really seem to understand what the boys were doing! Poor baby!

juuule Thu 22-Jan-09 20:46:29

Just a guess.

He was already friends with friend 1.
He makes friends with friend 2.
Friend 1 doesn't like friend 2 and is upset that your ds appears to favour new friend (appears - not actually true). This might explain her sudden rudeness?)
Friend 1 decides to find other friends as she thinks that your son not as friendly with her as previously.
Friend 2 wasn't particularly bothered about being friends with your ds so has moved on.
This would leave your ds in the position he is now.

All speculation but possible. Nothing to do with girls/boy sticking together.
Maybe ask your son if he would like friend 1 to come home for tea? See if you could re-establish the friendship or at least get him to see that she doesn't dislike him.

Boysboysboys Thu 22-Jan-09 21:45:05

Maybe juuule yes. Although I think he did try to keep them both happy. I forsee I lifetime of girl problems with him to be honest! Being heartbrokenby beutiful blondes! He did go to her house yesterday, but was upset today. (I am friends with her parents) I'm sure it'll all be fine in the end!

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