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DS scared at lunch times

(8 Posts)
ksld Wed 14-Jan-09 12:15:55

DS just started school last week. He has been in the attached nursery so knows other children and staff, and had been for lunch there several times. However it now turns out he is frightened of the older children when they come in for lunch. The teacher said he is fine in the classroom, but yesterday cried in fear on the way to lunch, and then burst into tears when the bigger children came in.

He is therefore not eating any lunch at all, so that is affecting his behaviour in the afternoon, and I just hate to think of him being so upset and me not being there to help. What can I do to help it all be less scary?

MillyR Wed 14-Jan-09 12:17:52

Does he sit with the bigger children? Could the school get an older child to look after him to make it less scary?

Lizzylou Wed 14-Jan-09 12:18:40

Oh no, poor thing sad
Has the teacher said what they could do about it?
Have you older cousins/friends? Does he get on OK with them?
It must be scary for a little boy with all the older children rushing in. Could they get him in the lunch setting earlier, with his lunch before the others come in?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Wed 14-Jan-09 12:19:57

Are there any mixed age local clubs i.e scouts/football clubs/karate nearby that kids at the school are likely to be part of?

DD1 went to a different school as she did nursery but settled in really well. I think this was because a fair few of the girls who go to her dancing school go to her school so there were some familiar faces in the playground. Even if they weren't in her age group.

At clubs I find that children to play in more mixed age groups than at school so it might help your ds get to know some of the older kids and will certainly help him get used to being around them and then he won't find it so daunting at lunch times.

ksld Wed 14-Jan-09 12:28:25

He sits with children from his class, but bigger children (as far as I can understand - new to this!- they are Years 1 and 2 only) come and join after 10 minutes, which can mean having to squeeze up on the benches to make room.

Teacher had no suggestions this morning...(so I came on here!)

Has 2 older cousins who he loves - but they are interested in him and play with him when we see them - they live 1 hour away.

Don't think there is time to stagger the lunches more than they are already.

He went to Football (stopped for Winter), is too little for other clubs, even ones at school are for 5+ children. He knows some of the older children - 2 are neighbours, 3 older siblings of children he knows, several from football, but still seems frightened of them all en masse.

Do you think it is just a time thing? Be patient and let him get used to it all? I have a tendency to rush in and solve all problems RIGHT NOW where DS concerned.

Lizzylou Wed 14-Jan-09 12:30:58

Yes, I think that he will settle down, it must be a bit daunting for him.
I am the same with my two boys, you just want everything to be perfect for themsmile

OhYouBadBadKitten Wed 14-Jan-09 12:33:28

I think that having a year 2 adopt him would help. Someone he can be introduced to that would then be friendly and look out for him.
dd was the same but fortunatly a year 2 sister of a classmate took her under her wing and it made such a difference. I still look at that girl fondly for rescuing my dd

morningsun Wed 14-Jan-09 12:45:12

i think thats a great idea oybbk~same for the yard.
its hard when they're little and you wish you were there to help.
can a teacher take him in and stay close for a few days,and "buddy" from yr2 sit next to him?
lunchtime is scary cos their usual teacher is not there,its noisy and busy as well as coping with dinner and then the yard.
is he p lunch or dinners?
sorry not much help,i had this with my ds tho and it was temporary,tho i took him home for lunch for 2 or 3 weeks[don't do unless last resort ,but ds was worked up going in to school about dinnertime so was a way to break day into chunks]

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