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Any suggestions about how to tackle bad behaviour at reception class?

(13 Posts)
dalu Tue 07-Oct-08 11:01:15

My ds just started reception class. He was settling fine up to last week when he was disruptive,not listenning to his teacher, all over the place really. He skeezed soome one's cheeks the other day, but he said sorry to the boy in question. I spoke to him and made sure he knew I was disappointed, I suctioned him with no TV. By last Friday I received a note from the teacher saying that he was fantastic! So a made sure he knew how pleased I was.

Monday he broke some children models as a joke, had been told off by the teacher and taken to the 'time out conner'. I sent him to his bedroom and sunctioned with no TV or sweets till can can behave at school. I talked to him calmily about how he would feel if someone did that to him, that he won't make friends if he is unkind to people. Tried to listen to him feelings etc. This morning I told him that learning is fun and he told me that he doens't like learning.sad

stroppyknickers Tue 07-Oct-08 11:05:35

aah. i was told that my school were concerned about ds' behaviour in reception, even by the head...he is now y1 and by the middle of reception he was getting great behavioural reports and had settled down. it will prob just take a bit of time for him to learn the boundaries, so don't panic. keep being consistent about good behaviour, but don't go overboard on the sanctions - he is still little. btw, when we banned ribena, ds calmed down a lot.

stroppyknickers Tue 07-Oct-08 11:06:24

also only sugary, 'fun' cereal at weekends - toast and weetabix on a school day, lights out by 8 etc so they aren't tired.

dalu Tue 07-Oct-08 11:15:17

Thank you stroppy. I will try less sugar staff. I aksed the teacher to keep me inform by a little black book that I gave her this morning 9 she said she will try her best as it is mad at home time). My ds stays at the after school clubs and I never see the teacher only in the morning where everybody is rushing around. I don't want to break his spiritsad.

I put a note on both TV ( his room ) and lounge. " this TV is off till ds can be kind to his friends and listen to his teacher". He accept that and told me that he will be good. I worry that I am going potty and overboard with it.

stroppyknickers Tue 07-Oct-08 11:19:03

i think that is a real danger grin i was devasted when his teacher said that they had been really concerned when he first started. he was doing similar stuff. tbh, i think you should be less full on about it (i mean that helpfully) as he is little. we don't let ds have the tv on in his room - he can watch a dvd there at weekend nights as a treat. it's v early days, so don't panic, it will probably get much better v soon.

dalu Tue 07-Oct-08 11:25:59

I guess you right. I am on my own, working full-time and worry that I am not doing my best to dicipline. But concistency is the key. I feel much better smile

mabanana Tue 07-Oct-08 11:29:30

you know, these are early days, and I would leave the discipline to the school at this stage. I think it's unfair to punish twice. Obviously you don't want to congratulate him for misbehaving, but I'd guess he's only four and he won't be the only 'naughty boy' in the class. I think rewards for his good behaviour will work better than double punishments. You don't want to put him off school altogether.

dalu Tue 07-Oct-08 11:34:24

Oh God yes you are right mabanana shock.

mabanana Tue 07-Oct-08 11:43:27

It's easy to panic when they start school, but honestly, lots of little four year old boys get up to mischief and schools are very used to managing them. I suspect you feel under extra pressure for your son to behave well because you are on your own, work, and maybe feel judged in some way but please don't let it get you down or spoil the lovely time you do have with your little boy. Make home a haven for both of you!

stealthsquiggle Tue 07-Oct-08 11:48:46

Leave it to school until they tell you it is a real problem. Small boys appear (IME) to go through phases of 'defiance' - they pass quickly.

My key learnings from reception:

- they need lots of sleep, plenty to drink and force-feeding breakfast if necessary
- if your DS is in after school care every day (mine was) you need to be ruthless about home/supper/bath/bed and let some other things go if need be
- if it is an option try to pick him up 'on time' one day a week - it's the only way I got to know other mothers and find out what was really going on at school. I appreciate that this may not be possible, though.

NotQuiteCockney Tue 07-Oct-08 11:52:40

I agree, don't punish twice. But do let him sleep more, and avoid TV and sugary stuff in the week, to make him more sensibly behaved.

stroppyknickers Tue 07-Oct-08 13:55:21

we are all so sensible on mumsnet, aren't we? grin it is all soooo different this year, ds is still not the most popular etc but he is really well behaved and the head told me recently how hard he is trying to learn things. I cast iron guarantee i didn't see this coming this time last year. agree with everyone else - routines at home help them to adapt (ours are pretty rigid) and lots of sleep. Plus, we only ever say good stuff about school/ teachers in front of the kids...

dalu Tue 07-Oct-08 14:20:46

Just had a break from work. I just want to say thank you for the support you are trully great guys. cheers [grim]

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