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ds1 struggling in yr1, not sure why...

(22 Posts)
oops Tue 30-Sep-08 09:45:43

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LadyMuck Tue 30-Sep-08 09:48:08

Make an appt to see the teacher - not a "quick word", but if you give her a couple of days then she should at least have time to observe.

Have you had a chance to see what he is doing in class? Ie what his work is like.

misdee Tue 30-Sep-08 09:50:50

a lot of children are finding the transistion from reception (learning through play) to year 1 a lot harder than starting school. its real 'work' now and a lot arent enjoying it as much, and still want to do all the playing they did in reception.

ahundredtimes Tue 30-Sep-08 09:53:08

I'd make an appointment to talk to the teacher. I wouldn't be happy about talk about 'beating up' in Yr1 at all. Not okay. Though this may just represent something to do with his unhappiness rather than be a fact, ifyswim.

Talk to teacher. Try to find a way to talk to him too - but with upbeat questions like 'what would make it less boring do you think?' rather than worried face 'what is wrong?' questions.

oops Tue 30-Sep-08 09:53:10

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oops Tue 30-Sep-08 09:57:13

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ahundredtimes Tue 30-Sep-08 09:58:02

so is this just about him not wanting to go to school - or do you think he is very unhappy when he is there?

The 'no touching' thing seems significant to me. Is it a sensory thing? Perhaps he gets a bit overloaded at school?

oops Tue 30-Sep-08 10:11:19

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ahundredtimes Tue 30-Sep-08 10:19:20

Yes, it's really hard isn't it.

It could be all of those things you know. It might be too that he finds the change difficult - new teachers, new rules, new place to put his bag? Or the new classroom is noisier or an annoying flickering light in the corner.

It might all iron out in time. But in the meantime I'd make an appointment to see the teacher and see if she can throw any light on it.

Like you say, he might just be tired and grumpy and would rather not go to school, but he's only in Yr1 once, and if there is anything you can do to cheer him up, then that'd be good. Sometimes it's small things - like worrying about lunch isn't it? And they build into huge monsters in their heads.

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 30-Sep-08 10:19:39

I've had similar, but more minor issues with DD.

According to her bitch queen from hell teacher ALL Year 1 children struggle because of the leap from reception to Year 1 is so great. It's much more intense with literacy and numeracy and there is much less "learning through play".

How your DS fits into this i'm not sure. I've no doubt he is bright but perhaps he's not quite getting what's being asked of him? This is still down to the teacher to sort, but, it's worth a thought.

Have you ever thought that perhaps he doesnt want you to "fix" his perceived problems? He just wants a sympathetic "I can see you are upset about this" and a hug? Anything else might be too much pressure or too much for him to think about???

ahundredtimes Tue 30-Sep-08 10:24:21

Also I think you should trust your instincts ooop. I think [in my house anyway] there is a difference between a child who'd rather not be at school thank you all the same and one who actively and seriously kicks up about it consistently.

3littlefrogs Tue 30-Sep-08 10:27:24

Bullying? Year one is about the time it starts. Also the time when the playground gangs start to form IME. Listen to him - it is really imporant that he knows you are there for him.

oops Tue 30-Sep-08 10:34:22

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VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 30-Sep-08 11:04:17

Aww sweet sad

It's so hard isnt it? And there was me getting myself wound up this morning because DS was interpreting everything I was saying as "Go jump in some more puddles".

So, he halts at the front door at home?

what's the key-pass thing?

oops Tue 30-Sep-08 12:27:44

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VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 30-Sep-08 13:19:26

Irritating when not done in wellie boots but in brand spanking new very expensive Clarks shoes.

Could you draw/make him his own keypass for the front door when leaving in the morning?

Grumpy head situation has fizzled out. No-one has cared enough to "update" me on this Very Serious Health And Safety Risk.

Clearly they just wanted to assert their authority at the start and leave it at that. I'm pretty pissed off about it if I'm honest. When I ask the teachers/TA how he's been I get the stock response of "Oh, he's been fine". Which kinda makes a mockery of getting the Deputy Head to accost me at the door and threaten exclusion.

I've still not heard about DD's SENCO meeting either.

I did get a fuschia pink slip for DD being late more than twice last week though, which I had to fill in and hand to the teacher with a reason for my tardiness.

I've filled it in. I don't think they'll be quizzing me further on it wink

wannaBe Tue 30-Sep-08 13:49:40

the transition from reception to year1 is much bigger than the transition from preschool/nursery to reception.

Even if your ds is achieving well in terms of his academic ability, he may not actually want to be achieving academically and may still want to be playing, something which he is getting much less chance to do now that he is in year1.

How was he in reception? Did he ever get upset going in then? or is this a new thing?

My ds went through a stage of crying in reception. He couldn't tell me why, he was perfectly happy once he went in, but cried every morning for about three weeks. There wasn't anything wrong, I came to the conclusion that it was just that the penny had dropped that this was it now for the foreseeable part of his life.

I would have a word with the teacher and try to establish how he is when he's actually there, also, would it be possible for you to go in as a parent helper one morning so that you could observe from a distance? Or would you being there unsettle him more?

What works for your ds wrt getting him over an emotional outburst? for my ds, cuddles and sympathy and pandering just makes it worse, so i've discovered over time that distraction and ignoring snaps him out of it far quicker because he doesn't have the audience, iyswim? Again it might be worth speaking to teacher/TA to agree a strategy for him going in without the associated crying.

Sometimes it's just a matter of breaking the cycle, and once they go in once without crying, they're fine.

When my ds went through this I offered bribes, threatened punishments, had long conversations about why he was crying (he couldn't tell me). Eventually his teacher told him on a thursday that if he came in crying the next morning then he wouldn't be getting golden time. grin i aided this slightly by going with him to the shop before school and buying biscuits for him to take in for golden time, and he ran in without so much as a backward glance and we have never looked back. smile

I'm not saying this is the issue with your ds, but it's something worth thinking about. Most children go through a stage of crying at school, and for most it really is something that they get over with the right support.

oops Tue 30-Sep-08 18:00:43

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PigeonQV Tue 30-Sep-08 21:42:48

Oh sweet sad

Sounds very much like DD has been, on and off. I've been assuming it's a combination tiredness, the change from reception to Yr 1, and a natural development phase.

It's possibly a feeble attempt at keeping myself sane, but, I'm hoping it will settle down and pass as long as everything else keeps constant.

The school seems to be quite helpful too though?

grrrrr Tue 30-Sep-08 22:09:01

Spoke to him this eve, he says that school would be better if people didn't talk to him all the time.
he says he doesn't want the kids to talk and play with him at break time.
He doesn't like the teachers talking to him, and says he can't be quiet at school.
he wants to read books and come home to watch tele with nobody else talking to him apparently.

I did ask the teachers at school whether or not there was a peaceful place he could be at school- and they said he often picks up a book and sits quietly on his own.

Not sure what to do really, can't make school quieter for him can I?

Anngeree Fri 03-Oct-08 14:07:15

My son is also having problems settling into yr1 getting upset in a morning before he goes in.(Although this wk things haven't been as bad) He was asking if i'd play with him when he came home, getting very tired & bad tempered. What the problem seemed to be is the school day is now following a totally different structure to what reception did there is more written work & less play, my son has found this difficult & tiring. He's also a good reader & writer but I think the volume of work can put them off school until they settle in. I've spoken to my son's teacher & explained the way he's reacting & my concerns & she has been very understanding. My son does seem to have been allowed to play a little more this wk in school which may be the reason I haven't had as many problems when dropping him off.

SummatAnNowt Fri 03-Oct-08 14:59:44

Have you considered home education?

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