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Has anyone changed schools twice before the age of 7 or did you as a child? Also how have the school reacted when you have changed to another school in the same area?

(33 Posts)
worriedmummyto1 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:07:45

Sorry for HUGE thread title!

How did it affect you? Was it a good or a bad thing.

Basically I split up from ex last year and we had to move so dd 4 and a half months into reception changed schools. This was the only place we could get at the time and its awful, very rough school and very poor achieving school but more than that the communication from school - home is appalling and I feel if ive had problems they havent listened.

An example of the school dd is at is a child was stoned in the playground by a group of fellow pupils for telling the teacher another child had been bullying her and all the school did was say "oh if you do stuff like that you will get in lots of trouble, now go away!" No bringing parents in or anything else.

Fast forward a year. I have just been informed that a child has moved areas and there is a place for dd in the school that me and dd both loved when we looked around. Fantastic facilities, outstanding ofsted, family assemblies each week, gardening club, lots of parent involvement etc.

Im not sure what to do for the best, dd cries that she doesnt want to go to school the next day and that she hates it but then when I suggest moving says she doesnt want to leave her friend.

worriedmummyto1 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:10:06

should add previous school wasnt in the same area and that the area we live in is lovely but school is not. As I have wrote it as though I hate the area as well.

LadyGlencoraPalliser Thu 25-Sep-08 14:10:45

Move her. If there is that much difference between the school and your gut instinct is telling you she will be happier there, then don't hesitate. Don't make her feel it has to be her decision, just explain to her what is happening and how much she will like her new school. She is too young to have the responsibility for this decision herself, and it seems that you can clearly see what is best for her.

Marina Thu 25-Sep-08 14:12:56

Move her. If you have both had an unhappy and disrupted 18 months, the new school sounds far better equipped to help her settle in.

TheBlonde Thu 25-Sep-08 14:13:50

I changed schools because we moved
It wasn't great but that was also due to moving house

I would recommend you move her as the school sounds much better

clutteredup Thu 25-Sep-08 14:15:48

I moved schools alot when I was a child as my Dad was in the forces. I don't remember much other than I remember bits of different schools. Children are infinitely adaptable. If you are not happy with the school then your DD will not be happy there, ever. If you are not moving areas then you can make sure that DD sees her friend after school etc. If you have been offered a place at a school you both like then take it, the opportunity won't ever come again. Good luck grin

Fennel Thu 25-Sep-08 14:19:13

My dds changed school twice at 5 and 4 and then 6 months later at 6 and 5. Mid year both times, due to house moves.

The first time was planned, the second we had hoped them to stay in their new school but the travelling didn't work out. So we gave the dds the choice about moving a second time to their new local school, or being ferried by car to their current school. They chose to move again, which I do think suggests they didn't find movign school very traumatic. I felt bad for them, moving twice, making new friends each time, but really they were fine.

Loads of other children are moving around too, it's so normal, so mine aren't the newest at all any more. And they are good at being nice to new children as they remember how friendly people were to them when they were new.

worriedmummyto1 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:20:14

I know clutter, I sat here last night thinking oh well leave her were she is and I will help her myself with work and stuff but a place isnt likely to come up again if in six months I regret not moving. and she will go to a equally bad seperate junior school in a couple of years at this school and have to change schools anyway where as at this new one she can stay till 11.

worriedmummyto1 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:22:29

Fennel they will be the ages my dd would have moved if we go so thats interesting, looking back do you think it was the right decision?

Bramshott Thu 25-Sep-08 14:25:55

Can you take her to see the school again and sell it to her? I would move her if you both liked it before, and if she's not happy where she is.

footballsgalore Thu 25-Sep-08 14:26:46

My DS (6) has moved to a new school this term. Despite crying that he didn't want to go and that he would miss his friends, he has settled really well and now says he likes it better than his last school. He made friends on the first day, and has not asked to see his old friends, despite attending 2 parties from the old school. Children are very adaptable and sociable generally. Go for the school you feel she will get on best at in the long term. She has a long time left at primary!

Fennel Thu 25-Sep-08 14:28:34

Worriedmum, yes, I did agonise a lot about the second one (I cried in the playground of our second, lovely, school, which we had just started feeling part of) when I realised how it wasn't working in travelling terms.

But no I am so pleased we did it, because it made all our lives logistically so much easier. The dds are happy at their 3rd school (they've been happy at all 3 schools, they are quite adaptable). They have close friends. and they love walking to school and having friends who live all along the way. so for us it did work. But if they'd begged not to move the second time we would have carried on with the grim commute.

Your situation is different though, if the new school is a lot better I'd go for it, especially if your dd isn't happy at school. Friendships change so often at this age, the children don't think they will change but they do change all the time.

solo Thu 25-Sep-08 14:32:19

I went to a really rough school as a very shy and quiet 5 year old and ended up having an older girl punch me in the face resulting in me losing teeth and my treatment was extremely poor by staff. I never went back there. I was put into a great school after that and made friends there.

Your Dd will make new friends at another school and she could always keep her friend for after school activities at home if she's important to her.
I wish you both well in your decision.

worriedmummyto1 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:33:06

footballsgalore did you move to a school in the same area? What have schools response been if it is.

Head scares the life out of me at dds current school, shes a bit of a bulldog and Im worried she will say or do something to stop new school taking dd as she has threatened parents before with the Lea and social services if she hasnt agreed with their opinions.

scarletlilybug Thu 25-Sep-08 14:38:18

My dd is currently at her 3rd school (although she is abit older than you one).
First move was because of a house move; second one was simply because she wasn't very happy where she was. And can I say how glad we are that we did change her schools - she's much, much happier at the new one and is back to her old self.
I know these decisions are hard to make (goodness only knows, I worried and dithered enough myself), but I think children are quite adaptable. I think she's too young to be able to make a decsion for herself - but could she perhaps have a taster day at the new school? And could you reassure her that she'd still be able to see her friend (assuming, that is, that that would be still be possible).

Twiglett Thu 25-Sep-08 14:39:53

move her

scarletlilybug Thu 25-Sep-08 14:40:13

Oh, and to answer the second part of your question, I don't see how the head could stop you moving, if that's what you wanted. Maybe you could mention something about being worried about her reaction at the possible new school, just to put your mind at rest.

worriedmummyto1 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:46:59

I have an appointment tommorow to go and have another look and then one after that to go and show dd once ive had a look.

worriedmummyto1 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:55:10

"whispers" and it has a much prettier uniform too wink

Romy7 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:58:22

dd1 is in year 4 (she is 8) and this is the first year she has gone back to the same school grin P1 in scotland, yr 1 in oxford, yr 2 in hants, yr 3 in surrey.
she is a very able, friendly kid with lots of friends. it's horses for courses though, the same experience wouldn't have been so easy for either of the other 2. (forces family)
oh, and she'll move schools again at the end of this school year, so that'll be her fifth school at 9. she gets about a bit lol. at this age i'm not in the slightest bit concerned, but we intend to be static by secondary.

Bramshott Thu 25-Sep-08 15:31:33

Go for it!!

AbbeyA Thu 25-Sep-08 16:25:02

I would go for it. I went to 3 schools before I was 7 it was just bad luck because of my father's job. I loved the first, disliked the second and loved the 3rd. It wasn't the best of starts, but looking back I was pleased because the 3rd was very much my favourite.(I was very shy but it still worked for me).

worriedmummyto1 Thu 25-Sep-08 20:34:03

thanks everyone, what do i say to the new school tommorow without sounding over negative? I dont want to go in and slag other ht off completely cause they probably know each other.

critterjitter Thu 25-Sep-08 21:50:10

worriedmummyto1

I wouldn't say anything in terms of why you are moving her schools (and they probably won't actually ask). Just go along with the attitude that you are looking around the school that your DD WILL BE attending from Monday. Smile lots, buy the uniform etc! grin

"Head scares the life out of me at dds current school, shes a bit of a bulldog and Im worried she will say or do something to stop new school taking dd as she has threatened parents before with the Lea and social services if she hasnt agreed with their opinions."

You won't have to face her. Just send in a very factual letter to her detailing the date your DD will be transferring to the new school. What do you think she can report you for? Parental choice?

Everything will be fine! Don't worry so much. Kids move all the time!

footballsgalore Thu 25-Sep-08 21:51:08

WMto1 Kids change schools much more often than you would think and schools get very used to it. They have to! Current head can't do a thing to stop you, it's your right to choose. You could even move your DD and just send a letter to current school on the day she leaves if you don't want to face her! Not quite protocol but not illegal either! I would though be careful about what you say to new school. Heads do talk and they may well know each other. However, if current head and school are as bad as you say, then they will have heard it all before anyway. Maybe say something along the lines of , it's not quite the right place for DD, too big/small/far to walk etc and let them read between the lines. HTH.

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