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Dd1 is being pushed around at school by another girl

(11 Posts)
Marne Wed 24-Sep-08 10:20:36


A few weeks ago dd1 came home and told me this girl had pushed her over in PE by thumping her in the tummy, this was the 2nd time this girl had hurt dd, the week before she thuped her hand onto the table. I spoke to the teacher who said she would keep her away from dd. As i was walking home the mother of the girl stopped her car and apoligised for her little girl, when i picked dd up the little girl was made to apoligise and they made friends. For the past week they have been best freinds, they come out holding hands and laughing together.

I thought all was ok.

Then i got home with her yesterday and she tells me this girl shut her in the cloakroom and dd could'nt get out, she said she started to cry as she was scaired and her other freind came and let her out sad, dd was very upset about this but is still saying this girl is her best freind.

Dd is 4.7 and has Aspergers, she finds it hard to work out who is nice and who is'nt so nice hence still wanting to be freinds with this girl.

Should i speek to the mother again? I feel so sorry for her mum as she has her hands full with a 2 year old and a new born, she has offered for dd to go and play with her dd which seems a good idea.

I am a bit protective of dd as she is very sensitive and gets upset about the slightest little thing.

What should i do?

Marne Wed 24-Sep-08 10:28:26


Please give me some advice before i pick her up at luch time, her mother keeps asking me if they are getting on ok? Shall i say about what happened yesterday?

Idobelieveinfairies Wed 24-Sep-08 10:33:26

I would tell the mum, she obviously wants her DD to behave nicely, and i would want to know if any of mine had been horrible to another child.

IMO i would hold off with your DD going to play at this little girls house for now. It is a nice idea but until there has been a little while without incident i would be a bit worried about her going tbh..but thats just me!

WowOoo Wed 24-Sep-08 10:37:26

As ido says. Wait until good time - 2/3 weeks - with no incidents. tell the Mum the same with a nice smile! Good luck.

lemonlady Wed 24-Sep-08 10:39:49

I would definately speak to the teacher again and as Ido says don't let your dd go to her house yet.
Nice of the mum to mention it imo as most don't.
This needs nipping in the bud now.

Marne Wed 24-Sep-08 10:39:49

She has pushed a few of the other children too sad

Some of the parents are being nasty about it and won't talk to the mother. I know children can be nasty (mine can be a nightmare at home), the mother is saying its down to the new baby (which i can understand).

If dd goes to her house i will be staying with her and having a coffee with the mum, dd2 is the same age as her dd2 so they can play together.

Maybe i will mention it today (about her dd shutting mine in the cloakroom)

I think the little girl just thought it would be fun to play a trick on dd as she gets upset easily.

Idobelieveinfairies Wed 24-Sep-08 10:54:49

ahh i see, then i would go and visit you can see what she is like in her home environment.

If her mum knows what she is like then it sounds as if she can be a monkey at home too, but she sounds like she wants to get it sorted so i am sure it will.

I think it is great that you are making the effort with her and shock at the other parents for being nasty.

Would also speak to teacher, if they don;t know whats happening then they can't keep an eye on them.

MamaG Wed 24-Sep-08 10:56:40

I agree - if other mum is asking you for feedback then she is obviously concerned and wants to know, rather than sticking her head in the sand

Good luck

mumto2andnomore Wed 24-Sep-08 11:14:54

Yes I would tell her, you sound like a nice person who will tell her in a nice and not a judgy way. Unlike the other mothers who wont speak to her,do they really think they have perfect children who never do anything wrong-grrr.

Marne Wed 24-Sep-08 12:52:57

Just got back from school, i spoke to the mum, she said that the teacher had'nt told her (which she thought was wrong), her dd had told her that her name had been written up on the board (this is what they do if a child has been naughty) but the mother was'nt told why.

I was realy nice to her and said 'don't wory about it as dd1 seems ok', she said she would talk to her.

She also said her dd came home yesterday, sat down and said ' i have had a f*cking bad day' shock, she was then sent to her room by her father.
I was shock

Anyway i started walking home with dd when she told me the girl had pushed her out of a toy car and again shut her in the cloackroom sad

Im now starting to feel angry, dd got very upset and was very tearful all the way home. sad

I don't want to fall out with the mum, i don't want to have to talk to her again tommorrow as she will think im being a anoying protective mother.

I think i will have to talk to the teacher again. I know dd well and if this keeps happening she will refuse to go to school and make my life so much harder.

Idobelieveinfairies Wed 24-Sep-08 12:58:15

oh gosh sounds like it might get worse before it gets better.

I think seeing the teacher is the way to go, sounds like the mum needs all the help from school too.

Hope your DD is ok and tha it gets sorted soon.

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