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I am a little worried about my ds in his new junior school

(10 Posts)
crazedupmom Wed 17-Sep-08 10:08:47

Paranoid parent syndrome could be taking me over a little bit on this but I just can,t help but worry about my ds.
He has just moved to a junior school nearer home where he is the only new boy in the class the others have gone through infants together so are probably well estbalished in their friendships.
My ds left all of his friends behind at the infants school he was going to in another area.
I moved him as I thought it would be good to have a school in walking distance and better for him to have friends nearer home.
He has been at this school for 3 weeks now and I have concerns that he is not making friends as he should.
He has made one particular friend an indian boy who he seems fond of and from talking to him it seems that he spends most of the time playing with him at school.
I am generally pleased that he has made at least one friend but I would like to see him make more.
I am concerned that he is a bit lost in juniors it is a very large school going up to year 6 and my ds has told me that he can never find any of his classmates on the playground so plays with this one boy all of the time.
I am a little confused about it and I did say to him but you can find this one boy so why can,t you find anyone else to which he just replied I always know ehere he will be by the football field.
The indian boy does seem a nice boy and generally quite an accepting sort but maybe someone who isn,t terribly popular with that many friends at school, sorry if I sound like I am making assumptions as I would hate to be wrong on that and don,t want to do anyone injustice.
I am worried that my ds is clinging onto this one boy as he seems a safe bet and is generally the only one that lets him play.
My ds has occasionally said the odd thing that makes me think that other boys sometimes don,t always let him play when he asks.
He has mentioned that sometimes he walks around looking for someone to play with but then sometimes in bits of conversation I pick up on that he has played with someone else so I am not sure what to think really.
I have thought about speaking to his teacher but don,t want to look neurotic and I doubt that she is ever on the playgorund to see.
I have no idea how the friendships are forged in his class and I still don,t know who all of his classmates are with the exception of one or two as well as not knowing who thier parents are.
Sorry for rambling on I just want him to have many friends as he did at infants I feel awful at the moment and am wondering if I should have moved him.
My ds says he likes the school.

cory Wed 17-Sep-08 10:16:34

I'd leave for the time being: if he's found one nice friend that's not doing badly, is it? And if he is a nice boy, what does it matter if he too is a bit lonely? Wait and see how it goes.

(incidentally, dd's best friend is somebody I asked her to befriend 6 years ago because the other children thought she was odd and wouldn't let her play; she is now quite popular with everybody, but the main thing is that dd and her have had so much enjoyment from their friendship over such a long time.)

crazedupmom Wed 17-Sep-08 10:22:59

Thanks I know its still early days really, he came from an infant school that was very small in comparison to other schools about 160 on roll.
I think he has been thrown out of his comfort zone a little as of course its a much bigger school and probably much more roughness etc.
He does say he is happy at the school when I ask.

sameagain Wed 17-Sep-08 10:35:46

Is your son happy?

My DS1 doesn't seem to have a lot of friends, but always goes to and comes home from school happy, so I have forced myself not to worry about it. DH keeps telling me that "boys aren't like girls" as I think a lot of my worries about DS's friendships are based on my own feelings of not fitting in at school, wheras DH says that boys are much more likely have friends that come and go and generally play with whoever's around, rather than have special friends.

crazedupmom Wed 17-Sep-08 10:43:04

He seems happy enough he has admitted that he does miss his old friends but thats understandable.
I would say that your dh does have a very valid point you can,t help but worry though can you.

crazedupmom Wed 17-Sep-08 10:43:16

He seems happy enough he has admitted that he does miss his old friends but thats understandable.
I would say that your dh does have a very valid point you can,t help but worry though can you.

JudgeNutmeg Wed 17-Sep-08 10:52:36

Can he take a packet of top-trumps in to school to play at break times? Most boys are quite attracted to these and you need a few people to play. If he can't find a friend then at least with a packet of cards he has something to fiddle with.

I think if he isn't coming home un-happy then he is probably doing just fine.

crazedupmom Wed 17-Sep-08 10:57:24

Okay will try that.

bubblesbabe Wed 17-Sep-08 14:05:00

My 6 yr old son is in the same situation as yours but is unhappy and crying each day. It sounds like your son is much more settled and at least coping with the change better than my ds. I totally understand your feelings and sympathise xx

Heated Wed 17-Sep-08 14:14:50

But he has made one friend who sounds lovely, who has been sensitive to your ds being the new boy. Perhaps he's relatively new too. Give it time (and makes mental note to follow own advice smile)

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