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Choosing a primary school - would you be concerned if the head teacher had said...

(32 Posts)
Pheebe Mon 15-Sep-08 16:29:49

...we only allow the best pupils to take part in the end of year plays etc...

We have the option of expressing a preference of 3 primary schools in our area. Everything else about this particular school seemed great and would otherwise be our first choice - but this really bugged me. I was excluded from things at school for being 'not quite good enough' and its affected my whole life. I don't want this for my kids.

Am I making too much of this?? I probably am

ps. am very aware of how lucky I am to be able to have any choice at all smile

anyfucker Mon 15-Sep-08 16:31:05

run away...

Seeline Mon 15-Sep-08 16:32:50

I think it would depend on what she meant by 'best'. If she meant the cleverest, I would worry. However, if it is seenas a reward for good behaviour or trying and working hard, at whatever ability, then that is a differnet matter.

schneebly Mon 15-Sep-08 16:33:15


It would bug me too!

cornsilk Mon 15-Sep-08 16:34:43


ingles2 Mon 15-Sep-08 16:36:22

Best at what exactly?
If it's your 1st choice otherwise why don't you phone and ask the head to clarify?

ingles2 Mon 15-Sep-08 16:36:22

Best at what exactly?
If it's your 1st choice otherwise why don't you phone and ask the head to clarify?

GrimmaTheNome Mon 15-Sep-08 16:39:25

Not good. Its a very odd thing to say to prospective parents.

Fair enough to choose pupils who can sing/dance/remember the lines as required for certain roles, but a primary school play should always be one which is inclusive - everyone can be in the choir/chorus/crowd or whatever. You can never have too many shepherds or angels in a nativity.

Jux Mon 15-Sep-08 16:45:57

Agree with seeline. Our school had a concert last year. It was ghastly because anyone who wanted to could participate. Most of it was absolute bollocks (sorry). I'm all for kids having a go, but this was painful and embarrassing. Not only that, but what opportunity do the ones who actually work and are talented get out of it? DD didn't want to have anything to do with it.

Pheebe Mon 15-Sep-08 16:46:29

The specific example he used was for the end of year play. They held auditions and only gave parts to the best singers. Now for the major parts I can kind if understand that, but he cited an example of a girl who was 'not a good singer at all' (his words) who he made come back to audition 5 times hoping she'd give up. He eventually gave her a minor non-singing part for her persistence.

I did challenge him at the time but there were other parents there also and I didn't really want to make a scene. My feeling is at primary level all activities should be inclusive as in there should be opportunities to participate for anyone who wants to. I also didn't like the judgemental attitude. I wonder how many other kids have been excluded because of this attitude.

ingles2 Mon 15-Sep-08 16:48:58

Oh god NO Pheebe!
Wouldn't touch that head with a barge pole... (or his school grin )

ingles2 Mon 15-Sep-08 16:48:59

Oh god NO Pheebe!
Wouldn't touch that head with a barge pole... (or his school grin )

Pheebe Mon 15-Sep-08 16:48:59

I agree Jux these things can become shambolic. But I do believe that everyone who wants to should have the opportunity to participate at some level. Time enough to be excluded for 'not being good/careful/fast/artistic/musical enough' surely

ingles2 Mon 15-Sep-08 16:49:48

am really sorry.. my mac is on it's way out. blush

electra Mon 15-Sep-08 16:53:34

sounds awful.....would not send any child of mine to a school like that.

Scarletibis Mon 15-Sep-08 17:01:13

I agree a v strange, elitist attitude - how old are the children he's talking about? My daughter's school did an xmas show which included everyone and was great.
I also well remember being excluded from plays myself at primary school age - and being gutted about it.

rolledhedgehog Mon 15-Sep-08 17:02:01

Sounds like the school has an incredibly competetive ethos which would not suit our family personally.

GrimmaTheNome Mon 15-Sep-08 17:11:26

My DD's school has two shows a year - Nativity which is all year 2 plus the rest of the infants singing, and a year 6 show which is all year 6 plus the junior choir.

Now, the junior choir does have auditions at the start of each year 3-6. My heart sank when I realised this, as in year 3 my DD frankly couldn't sing in tune. She was a little disappointed not to get in but not gutted, because the teacher had explained to everyone (accurately) that children's voices develop at different ages and that anyone who didn't get in should carry on trying. So last year DD tried again, and again (not to my suprise) didn't get in. A bit more disappointed because all the other girls in her class did. Luckily DD likes playing with boys sometimes!

And by this year, she is singing much more in tune (though by no means perfectly!!) and she tried again and SHE'S IN!! Told me today with the hugest smile, really proud of herself.

Now, that type of selectivity seems ok to me because they were encouraged to keep trying and now it perhaps means all the more to her.

pointydog Mon 15-Sep-08 17:27:17

yes. Well, not concerned. I'd just think 'arsehole'.

Pheebe Mon 15-Sep-08 17:35:39

'arsehole' did cross my mind tbh grin

Got another school to see this week, hopefully, they're a bit more inclusive...

RubyRioja Mon 15-Sep-08 17:37:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubyRioja Mon 15-Sep-08 17:38:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Litchick Mon 15-Sep-08 17:53:30

Spot on RR.
In our neck of the woods the 3 wise men have assitants and it takes at least six receptioners to open the inn wink

RubyRioja Mon 15-Sep-08 17:55:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy Mon 15-Sep-08 18:15:48

I would have wanted to question that statement further - why only the best? how do they judge who is the best? wha roles do the "non-best" children get regards drama and school plays?

And yes, this would concern me and would make me think twice.

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