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Yr 1 dd waking up CRYING missing Reception & her Reception teacher...

(20 Posts)
CapricaSix Sun 07-Sep-08 09:36:49

I posted a simple awww thread a couple of days ago about this, but it has happened three times now. Last night she woke up at 1am and couldn't stop crying for quite a while.

I tend to use my instincts about this sort of thing - i am really strict about bedtime & staying in bed, and can usually tell immediately if she is messing about/using excuses etc and deal with it accordingly. This seems so genuine though, so i have so far been sympathetic and listened & talked with her for a bit, last night I managed to snap her out of it in the end by firstly talking through what she misses about Reception (mainly teacher, she wakes up saying "I miss X!" but mentioned things like the toys, the "big felt tips"!grin) and then by distracting her by talking about changes in my own life, having to get used to it, how change can be a positive thing, and how impossible it would be if everyone stayed in Reception forever! & then talking about what we were going to do the next day, and giving her a book to read to help her fall back to sleep.

I guess it's natural that there will be a settling in period while she adjusts to quite a big change (Yr 1 are in the bigger main building, she said they go into lunch later than Reception children, and they have also been split in a more defined way into 2 classes, etc), she is probably feeling a bit insecure etc, but just wondering how others would deal/have dealt with this reaction?

The weird thing is she seems perfectly happy going to school & when I pick her up, she doesn't seem at all concerned during the day. She has just woken up crying about it 3 times now, it seems odd.

pudding25 Sun 07-Sep-08 11:57:42

I would continue to reassure her and tell her she is a big girl now. You could even mention it to the teacher who could do some circle time about growing up. Give it another few days and I am sure that she will be fine. It is a good sign if she is happy at school and probably just needs some mummy reassurance and hugs!
As a yr 1 teacher, I quite often get parents at the very beginning of term telling me that their dch are upset at home for whatever reason, e,g not being able to read yet and others can. Those children are always perfectly happy in class. Within a couple of wks, the parents tell me that the children are absolutely fine at home.
Hope she is ok but try not to stress.

edam Sun 07-Sep-08 12:02:01

Oh bless. Ds was very worried about going into Year One - about going in through a different door, new classroom, new teacher, new playground, even about the new coatpegs! Thankfully not to the extent of waking up though.

I guess all you can do is carry on reassuring her until she adjusts.

CapricaSix Sun 07-Sep-08 12:12:12

Thanks. Have come to the conclusion that it is just a phase and I reckon the more supportive I am the quicker it will pass.

She was worried about it at the beginning of the summer holidays, but by the end of the holidays she had reconciled herself to it, but i guess her worries were founded! I'm sure she's absolutely fine in class, she talks positively about what she's done, etc. & thankfully two of the children she mentioned a lot last term are in her class.

Buda Sun 07-Sep-08 12:19:18

Oh bless! Poor thing. Sounds like you are doing all the right things.

Was talking to a mum at school and her DD has just gone into secondary. Ours is a small school so she is in the same building and even on the same floor as last year and still was found crying in bed on the first night! Missing Year 6. Not wanting to grow up. Feeling that she had not been naughty enough and also that she was too naughty!

CapricaSix Sun 07-Sep-08 14:45:22

That's funny about the secondary school girl buda!
When I started secondary school it was a whole new school, a bus ride away, and I was so excited about it, i don't remember feeling upset at all! Leaving secondary school i was SO happy to leave but did cry buckets about leaving people etc. i don't remember feeling that way about primary school which is funny because I KNOW I enjoyed primary much, much more than secondary!!

dd had her 5th birthday this august and the next day she was all miserable about not being 4 any more! grin She was saying not long ago that she wanted to stay little forever. With that in mind, I have hardly ever used the "you're a big girl" phrase tbh, i've talked more about the practicalities of more little children needing to come into Reception really.

Elibean Sun 07-Sep-08 16:34:12

I would have dealth with it in exactly the same way - sounds good to me smile

dd1 was exactly the same in her second year of pre-school about her first year teacher, and is the same now about last year's teacher/class. She is just grieving the change, I guess - she did the same when I moved her from her cot to her 'big girl' bed, so I'm used to her way of processing things!

I think the move to yr 1 represents so much too...more formal education, more resonsibility, the end of one phase of childhood (which has lasted quite a long time, if you think about it, and which she is old enough to remember well). I would just trust that she will move through it when she's more settled into her new class, and has grieved enough...

...she said, not trusting a thing with dd about to start Reception tomorrow...

Hope you find the shorts wink

CapricaSix Sun 07-Sep-08 18:30:31

Thanks Elibean. I'm not worrying so much about it now. In the middle of the night when dd wouldn't stop crying I was starting to wonder what the hell to do about it but of course there's not always much you can do. it's that maternal instinct of just wanting to stop them crying/hurting or whatever but sometimes you just have to let people have a good old cry innit. As i tell my dp when he goes all rational and dismissive when i'm upset about something! grin

NoblesseOblige Sun 07-Sep-08 18:32:41

when dd started reception, she wanted to go back to preschool.
when she started y1 she wanted to go back to reception.
i am waiting for her to now want to return to y1...
just be nice and supportive, she will soon realise her new classroom and teacher are just as good as the old one smile

CapricaSix Sun 07-Sep-08 18:37:17

It seemed really odd at first, because she seems so happy during the day. I guess night time is when things come to the fore sometimes.

onwardandupward Sun 07-Sep-08 18:44:47

Can you reproduce lots of reception-type activities at home in the evenings and weekends? If that's what she misses, I'm sure you can fill the gap. And then, rather than "no you can't have the big felt tip pens because there is another group of children needing them now" it can be "let's go to the shops and buy some felt tip pens just like the ones in reception, and then we can have "reception" at home"

CapricaSix Sun 07-Sep-08 19:46:42

That's a good idea onwardandupward, though there's not much else in terms of what they did in Reception that she's mentioned. I will ask her for more details if it comes up again, like what sort of toys they had. I know that her favourite thing in school was the sand pit, I don't think Year 1 has one, but dd hasn't mentioned it yet - i can't face having a sand pit indoors though! grin I did recently get her some moon sand though.

Minniethemoocher Sun 07-Sep-08 20:48:58

My DD is the same, really struggling to cope with moving up to Year 1, but she has the added problem of not being able to write ANY letters or read at all, we have the Educational Psychlogist next week, but have been told that the school suspects severe dyslexia. I was in tears today when she told me that the other children have been calling her stupid angry

CapricaSix Sun 07-Sep-08 23:39:11

Oh minnie i'm so sorry to hear about that. Children can be so mean.
I hope the psychologist can help, at least it can be highlighted so early - hopefully your dd will receive the extra support she needs.

Minniethemoocher Mon 08-Sep-08 12:14:24

Thank you, it is hearbreaking, as my little girl is lovely, funny, and really bright, just struggling at the moment. I have told her that she isn't stupid at all and that the children who call her that are just ignorant. Really would like to have a word with the culprits!!! angry

So really hoping that she does get the help she needs and deserves!

jollydo Mon 08-Sep-08 12:57:51

So sorry to hear about your little girl Minnie. Maybe you could find out about some famous 'successful' people who have dyslexia and tell her they also had trouble reading and writing and look at them now. Also remind her of all the things she is especially good at smile

scattyspice Mon 08-Sep-08 13:00:44

sad minnie. Ds has just gone into yr1 and can only copy letters and can't read either. I hope you get some help.

Minniethemoocher Mon 08-Sep-08 18:26:33

Thank you scattyspice and jollydo! She has a very good vocabulary, and is very bright (bias mother alert!) She is very good with animals, lovely nature, very empathetic, she has so many good qualities!

I am hoping that the meeting with the Ed Psych will really help us to get the help she needs.

CapricaSix Tue 09-Sep-08 07:19:54

Minnie it is good it will be recognised this early. I have a friend who wasn't diagnosed till his late 20s when he returned to uni. (His girlfriend suggested he was dyslexic actually so he looked into it and then got all the extra support he needed!) He was v determined & ambitious and did really well, is now following the career of his dreams. He is very clever too.

Minniethemoocher Tue 09-Sep-08 09:30:13

I will let you know how we get on with the Ed Psych - thank you for your support, it is good to be able to "get it off my chest".

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