Taking days off in term time - your advice please

[MrsCurly]

My daughter has just started school and is going to be bridesmaid at my sister's wedding which is taking place in term time in November at the other end of the UK (where all my family live).

The wedding is on a Saturday, but there is a family party on the Friday night. There is no way we would make that if we left home straight after school on Friday as it is a 7/8 hour drive. We are also going to have a problem getting back in time for school on Monday unless we spend all day Sunday getting back (the trains are really slow on Sundays)

Ideally I'd like to travel down by train on Thurs and back on Monday. Do you think is it acceptable to take her out of school for three days during term time? I could just travel down on Friday instead which would mean taking just two days. Or of course travel back on Sunday which I am loathe to do but would just mean taking her out for one day.

It is a really special time for our very close family, and I'd really like to be there as much as I can, and I know DD feels the same.

To complicate things a little she is very shy at school and very clingy, which is completely the opposite of how she was at nnursery, but I am hoping by November she will have settled a lot more and this will be less of an issue.

What would you do and when / how should I tell the school?

Thank you!

[ChasingSquirrels]

yes i think it is acceptable (though others won't).
I would tell the school asap, your school probably has a form - ask the office for it. Depending on your school policy it may be refused - this does not mean that you can't go, just remind them on the monday that she won't be on on thu, fri, next mon.

[EustaciaVye]

My school allows 2 weeks in one school year (with prior permission) , so check what your school policy is. I think a family wedding is a valid reason, especially as she is going to be bridesmaid.

[yogabird]

just go - no worries, you perhaps should ask but no-one can stop you anyway, don't worry about it - enjoy. She's only 4 or 5 ffs what can she possibly miss in 2 days that is going to impact massively on the rest of her life?

[cupsoftea]

should be fine

[seeker]

I don't think the school would have the slightest objection to this. I have taken mine out for family occasions. I would have a word with her teacher - I'm sure she'll be fine with it.

And I speak as a school governor!

[pinkteddy]

Yes tell school asap. Bear in mind that if it is authorised, they usually will only agree up to 10 days in a school year (depending on attendance). So this will leave you with 7 left until next July. Of course some schools will now not authorise any time off in term time. As chasing squirrels says, doesn't mean you can't take it though.

[RustyBear]

Our new head is incredibly strict about days off in term time, but even she allows it for weddings and funerals.

[pointydog]

Just do it. Not worth the hand wringing

[MrsCurly]

But do you think they will allow her to be absent on the Friday, but take a dimmer view of me not wanting to travel back on Sunday even though technically we could, and wanting Thurs off as well so we can hang out with family for longer?

[MrsCurly]

Should I just not bother to explain it but say we are taking her out for these days to go the wedding, end of story?

(Sorry to sound so precious about all of this, ahve no experience of school at all!)

[ChasingSquirrels]

I wouldn't explain, just inform.

[yogabird]

you could do that, you could say she's ill. You can do what you want- she is your daughter and she will not be damagedfor life or for any time at all if she misses a few days and i speak as a teacher!
Please just go and enjoy it

[yogabird]

you could do that, you could say she's ill. You can do what you want- she is your daughter and she will not be damagedfor life or for any time at all if she misses a few days and i speak as a teacher!
Please just go and enjoy it

[SoupDragon]

You don't have the option just to "inform", you have to ask permission.

[MrsCurly]

Thank you Yogabird and sorry for being neurotic

[Kbear]

You won't get it authorised I don't suppose but you're going anyway so don't let guilt spoil a wonderful weekend. Write a letter informing the head teacher of the dates she will be absent and why and that's it!

[ChasingSquirrels]

so what happens if you do just inform them, rather than asking permission? nothing. of course you have that option.

[SoupDragon]

At DSs school you have to fill in an "authorised absence" form requestion permission from the head (with a reason) and then you get it back saying whether it's been approved or not.

Do not lie and say your DD was ill. Your DD will have had an exciting weekend and will tell everyone about how she was a bridesmaid.

[sharonanne]

If your daughter is not five legally she does not have to be there.

Talk to school about their policy,they all differ but at the end of the day do what you want.

[SoupDragon]

There is no parental right to take children away in term time. At ours, if the child is taken without permission you can receive a penalty notice of £50 frrom the Education Welfare Service.

But if you want to annoy the head of the school your child will be attending go ahead and just "inform" rather than ask permission.

[SoupDragon]

At DSs school, the application forms are on a rack by the office, you just help yourself. Provided you're not taking the p*ss, permission is usually given.

[Kbear]

But Soupy we know they won't give permission at all, ever, so they said no point asking, we've been told to just inform them of dates the child will be absent.

[ChasingSquirrels]

it is semantics Soupdragon - I view completing the form as informing them, I KNEW they wouldn't give permission, I had already booked the holiday. I certainly was not asking permission.

[Saggarmakersbottomknocker]

Soupy is right - all schools have the option to fine you if you have more than a specified number of unauthorised abscences. But if your dd is under 5 they can't enforce it - just fill in the form, I'm sure it will be OK.