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Am i a pushy mum?

(23 Posts)
Marne Wed 03-Sep-08 21:06:35

Dd1 started school yesterday and today she came home with her first reeding book.

Dd1 has Aspergers syndrome , she is'nt very good at socialising or any physical activity but in the past year has took to reeding and maths, she read level 1 at nursery and in the holidays she completed level 2 and 3 of the oxford learning tree. This was all her choice, i hav'nt pushed reeding on her, she enjoys learning.
Her nursery leader has writen to the school to let them know she has compeated level 1, and her paed has writen to the school to let them know of her aspergers and stated she can reed.

Any way the book she brought home was the same as she had before she started reading at nursey (one with no writing) hmm

Should i say something or just wait until they realise she can reed?

KerryMum Wed 03-Sep-08 21:08:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorocconOil Wed 03-Sep-08 21:09:03

If it was my DD I would definitely say something. You are not being pushy.

n5rje Wed 03-Sep-08 21:12:31

I don't think you're being pushy at all but IME experience you have to tackle this very carefully with teachers to avoid them thinking that you are trying to push your children on too quickly. However as your DD has just started I think its quite OK to let them know that she has progressed over the holidays but maybe leave it a few days just in case they quickly realise anyway.

Marne Wed 03-Sep-08 21:14:56

Shes in mainstream, we have been told she has mild Aspergers but we are still waiting for a dx so we can't get a statement for her until then.

She's finding the social side realy hard, i was hoping if she could read and move forward in her reeding she would be happier. I just dont want to seem pushy as it is her first week.

clam Wed 03-Sep-08 21:19:55

Exactly. It's her first week. Give them a chance. I really wouldn't say anything yet. GO through the book with her and talk about the pictures, if they lend themselves to discussion/questions.

kennythekangaroo Wed 03-Sep-08 21:21:11

If it was my DD I'd leave it a week or 2 for school to settle down and then say something.

They probably wanted to make sure everybody had a book on their first day of school and will assess and put her on a different level soon.

MorocconOil Wed 03-Sep-08 21:26:41

I'd say something because it's about your DD's self-esteem. If she's not so confident in other ares, it could give her a boost. An understanding teacher would recognise why you were doing this.

However I do see other posters view that the staff are very busy dealing with the beginning of term.

AMumInScotland Wed 03-Sep-08 21:28:37

I think they will try the children out on a range of books over the first week or two, to see which they can already cope with, so I'd give it a couple of weeks before chasing it. Though if you happen to be speaking to the teacher sooner you could mention it in passing.

bozza Wed 03-Sep-08 21:42:29

It's the first day! I would leave it until next week.

Heated Wed 03-Sep-08 21:51:40

Do you think discussion about the book and emoting with the characters about how they feel might be feeling might be good for your dd if she's Aspergers?

I teach older Aspergers children who have very good recall of text, can catch me out on a minor detail grin, but getting layers of meaning is much tougher & understanding shades of grey is harder. Obviously this sophistication is not yet a feature at the level your dd is working at, but the more she can discuss texts the better.

I'm not saying that the teacher has this definitely in mind but it's a task that can be accessed at very different levels. They may not know your dd's capabilities but if dd is SEN she should. It will do no harm to let her know dd can read, although teachers also like to assess for themselves what kind of reader she is. Also looking at earlier readers does no harm if dd is learning, as teachers use them to make teaching points that dd might not have absorbed. If she's bored, then it's a problem.

Do you have a reading journal or something similar that you can fill to indicate dd would like something she can actually read? And of course keep going to the library - I can't remember any of the books we read at primary but I can remember the books I saved up to buy or read repeatedly for pleasure.

Btw, you are not being pushy smile

Heated Wed 03-Sep-08 21:52:31

should really have proofread my first line!

PortAndLemon Wed 03-Sep-08 21:57:17

I think many schools start them off in Reception with books without writing. It's not that they are assuming they can't read; they are assessing how they are at comprehension and the rules of story and being able to describe a plot and characters and things like that. IIRC the school DS will be going to said that they start them all off on no-writing books at the beginning of Reception, to get an idea of their maturity/comprehension/articulacy/etc., and then assess where they should be on actual reading books.

Give it a couple of weeks and if you are still concerned then talk to the school.

ja9 Wed 03-Sep-08 22:02:15

It's her first day! It would be unwise of the teacher to give a higher level reading book without carrying out initial assessments. It is much easier to bump children up levels than to back track... The teacher will be getting to know the children just now. I would hang fire, give it a week or two for things to be put in place and if nothing has changed, then say something.

Tinkjon Wed 03-Sep-08 22:33:05

Yep, schools definitely give books with no writing in! As Port&Lemon said, it's not just about reading the actual words, it's about following a story and being able to describe what's happening. They will find out soon enough that she can read.

SlartyBartFast Wed 03-Sep-08 22:40:18

i think they do that do enable the children to tell the story themselves. using their imagination rather than just reading. make up their own stories from the pictures.

maryz Wed 03-Sep-08 23:28:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chocolateteapot Thu 04-Sep-08 06:52:50

DS's school warned us at a meeting last year that they know there will be a wide range of reading ability amongst the class but they will all be started off with picture books for the reason Portandlemon has put. So agree with those who say wait.

BTW, don't think you are a pushy Mum, just one finding their feet with this whole starting school business. It's a learning curve for parents as well as children I think.

Marne Thu 04-Sep-08 07:50:27

Thankyou all for your advice, im not worried about her having a picture book , she likes making stories up to pictures, im just worried as she has had the same books at nursery and can remember them, im worried she will get bored and loose interest. She has already noticed that she has had this book at nursery. I think i will leeve it a while and then i might just ask her teacher if she recieved the letter from nursery which states she has finished level 1. I dont want dd to feel different but i dont want her to get bored as she thrives on learning and loves a challange.

I think im finding starting school more stressful than dd, i already feel like dd is standing out as being different as some adults have noticed that dd finds it hard to socialise and assume she is being naughty/bossy sad even though i have told one of them she has AS.

hippipotami Thu 04-Sep-08 07:59:13

I would leave the reading book issue for now. Just ensure dd carries on reading at her preferred level at home.
You say you are already worry about her standing out. Having a mum come into school and ask she is placed on higher reading books won't help with that. It is way to soon. Give the school a week or so to find their feet with all the children. They will all be assessed reading-wise over the next week or so adn then she will get appropriate books. They are not going to hold her back, honestly. But on day one it is really about getting used to being at school, and choosing a picture book is part of that smile
Tell her she will get harder books soon. And in the meantime work on teh social side with her - any playground games her peers are likely to play at playtime etc.
The main aim right now is to 'fit in' I think.

hippipotami Thu 04-Sep-08 08:01:23

Sorry, that last bit sounded awful. 'Fitting in' is not the be all and end all. My dd does not really fit in, she has some anxiety issues adn like your dd is way ahead in reading and writing.
By fitting in I just meant being happy and settled at school.

coppertop Thu 04-Sep-08 10:20:32

I agree with Heated. Ds1 (ASD) could read before he started school. It was recognised very early on that although decoding wasn't a problem for him he didn't necessarily understand what he was reading. He didn't get the inferences, the social contexts, the emotions etc. His teachers gave him books that were technically too easy for him as there were never any words in them that he didn't already know but they were useful for teaching him the things that other children just seemed to get without trying. By the end of Yr2 his level of comprehension had caught up with his level of reading.

The other possibility is that the Reception teacher will still be carrying out their own assessments. Ds2 (AS) spent the beginning of his Reception year doing things he'd been able to do for a while. Once the teacher saw for herself that he was capable of more she adapted the activities so that he could work at a different level but still work with the other children.

StellaDallas Thu 04-Sep-08 12:21:54

Definitely wait two weeks before saying anything. It takes the teacher this long to assess each child individually. That is the time to have a word with the teacher if she hasn't been given an appropriate books.

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