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I am feeling so relieved- have decided not to invite certain kids for playdates this term!

(17 Posts)
oops Wed 03-Sep-08 18:32:06

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3andnomore Wed 03-Sep-08 18:42:30 probably made an enemy today then....ope it doesn't backfire on you or gets nasty...

you know you kinda implied to that mum that you dislike her child/that you think he is rough and not nice, don't you?

bythepowerofgreyskull Wed 03-Sep-08 18:45:21

I know exactly what you mean and have had such conversations with friends I have made at the school gates.. it turns out we like each other more than the kids do.
we now meet in the evenings for a meal/glass of wine every month instead smile

TheFallenMadonna Wed 03-Sep-08 18:47:17

I would have gone more with the "our boys don't seem to get on" than the "your boy hurts and upsets my boy" though.

NorthernLurker Wed 03-Sep-08 18:47:17

Well that's very brave and honest of you. How did she react?

Helsbels4 Wed 03-Sep-08 18:58:21

Well done for being brave enough to say something if it bothers you to that extent but if I were your friend, I think I'd be feeling a bit miffed and annoyed tbh. Not nice to have it implied that your little darling isn't welcome in someone else's home. I wouldn't have thought it's so bad if the mother stays as she has the job of disciplining her child - it's much harder when you have to do it with a child you don't particularly like!

Boyswillbeboys Wed 03-Sep-08 19:00:00

Good for you - think I need to do the same! Greyskull hit the nail on the head, the Mums I like have children who don't get on with mine, and vice versa. I am sure the other mums have seen that the kids are not getting on and will understand.

oops Wed 03-Sep-08 19:02:21

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Turniphead1 Wed 03-Sep-08 19:07:32

Fair play to you for being honest, Oops. If you said it the way you explained in your second post then most diplomatically done! I would have beenb a coward and just fudged the issue! I am quite sure she probably feels the same and will be glad to be just your friend without forcing your boys to mix. Well done!

Helsbels4 Wed 03-Sep-08 19:10:27

If you and the other mum get on really well then do as someone else said and meet up once a month or so for a girly evening then you can have the company of the mum without the children clashing. I'm sure she understands though.

oggsfrog Wed 03-Sep-08 19:15:05

I think you did the right thing Oops.

Give ds the space to decide who he wants to make friends with, as you have done.

If I was the other Mum I'd appreciate your honesty (it sounds like she agrees with you anyway) and I'd be glad to have the opportunity to meet away from the children.

TheFallenMadonna Wed 03-Sep-08 19:18:06

What you actually said would have been fine with me.
Especially if my child did keep hurting yours, and I was really embarassed about it wink

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Wed 03-Sep-08 19:21:02

Oops - I think you are brave and have done the right thing - we used to have boys rounds that my DS did not get on with and I was not sensitive enough and have probably damaged him for life... he found his own friends, said who he wanted to invite. I had t diplomatically turn down invites from bioys he did not want to play with which was very difficult, but ultmately he had to choose his friends and it seemed to work out okay eventually... good luck - it will be okay!!!

deepinlaundry Wed 03-Sep-08 19:41:27

well done- although I had someone say something similar to me and I was of the opinion that it was very much the other way round- certainly it was my son always getting beaten up at my house. I think you maybe could have stopped the playdate without apportioning blame- very dodgy with other people's children if you ask me. (did you?!)

oops Wed 03-Sep-08 19:58:48

Message withdrawn

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Wed 03-Sep-08 22:15:36

I think providing you said 'our kids don't mix well' you're fine. She will have noticed as well I'm sure. If you said anything remotely approaching 'your ds is a git' you might have trouble!

nowirehangers Thu 04-Sep-08 17:00:47

sadly your dcs never get on well with the mums you like best. 'tis one of the first rules of parenting, I am beginning to learn. Good luck, ds1 will find other friends

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