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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

DD starts school on Thursday, DS starts nursery the following Monday. Am feeling all wobbly and sad about it.

57 replies

moodlumthehoodlum · 30/08/2008 22:30

Slap me and tell me to grow up. I am looking forward to the spare time etc but I feel sad about it, I really do.

I know. I need to get a life.

OP posts:

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climbanymountain · 30/08/2008 22:43

Me too. DS1 goes to school next week and DS2 to pre-school for first time. Am very because I always wanted the spare time but actually I realise now I just loved doing things with them every day.

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CarofromWton · 30/08/2008 22:43

Join the club! I was ok when DD1 started school but then I had DD2 at home as a baby. DD2 starts school next Tuesday and I've got a lump in my throat, especially as she tried her full school uniform on today for the first time! Also makes me feel old and "there's another chapter over then...."

Sorry - I'm not being very helpful am I? I think your feelings are perfectly normal though.

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moodlumthehoodlum · 30/08/2008 23:22

This is lunacy I know, but I really feel that its the beginning of the end of my role as a parent.

Its just the end of such an era. I don't have babies any more I have school children.

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climbanymountain · 30/08/2008 23:39

I'll tell you what worries me (pathetic I know) - that he won't love me as much anymore. At the moment he says he loves me more than anyone in the world and is always saying "I'll always be you mummy". I think he's going to grow up fast now and be heavily influenced by other kids. I want to keep my baby, sob sob!

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climbanymountain · 30/08/2008 23:40

should have said "I'll always be WITH you mummy", (don't want him turning into Antony Perkins!!)

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MamaMimi · 30/08/2008 23:51

OMG, been going through this all summer.

DD starts school on Fri and every time I've thought about it over the hols I have welled up thinking that she won't be at home with me ALL DAY, and that this is the start of her school life that is ongoing from here on in, ie. no going back.

But she's still my baby and I don't want her to be away from me for that long. Although, we do live right opposite the school and I will be sat on my bed every playtime watching her playing out. (Sad, lonely mother!!)

When I showed my mum dd's new school clothes the other day she started crying too, in fact every time I talk to my mum about it we both end up wailing.....so pathetic!

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LuLuMacGloo · 30/08/2008 23:57

Honestly - you wouldn't believe how many school holidays there actually are. They will be at home with you for almost half the year.

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sushistar · 31/08/2008 00:00

You could home school?

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Bowddee · 31/08/2008 00:19

OH YESSEE YESSEE YES !

I knew I wasn't the only one!

Although I managed a full blown panic attack.

DS (PFB) starts school on Wednesday.

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onwardandupward · 31/08/2008 11:08

If anyone really is gutted about sending their children to school next week: you know they don't have to go, right?

They just have to be in full-time education from the term after they become 5, at school OR OTHERWISE (=home based education)

There are thousands of us who have opted out, it's a growing little subculture

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climbanymountain · 31/08/2008 11:12

I heard this last week. Wonder what they'd miss educationally?

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onwardandupward · 31/08/2008 11:30

Strong research-based evidence (Google Paula Rothermel - she's done work at Durham - also look at the book How Children Learn at Home by Alan Thomas for v. recent educational scholarship on the subject) of equivalent or raised outcomes for HE over school-based education across all social groups.

It's just an alternative way of doing things, not a second-best. And it is perfectly valid just to home educate for a term or a year or two years or whatever until you and your child feel your child is ready to join school. It's not a decision you make now and have to follow through for the rest of your child's education!

If interested, come and have a browse in the home education topics (just above this one on the big list of chat topics, I think). There are lots of HEers who visit MN regularly and would be happy to answer questions

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onwardandupward · 31/08/2008 11:31

Sorry - by Alan Thomas and harriet PAtterson. I did an abortive cut and paste from this recent article here

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moodlumthehoodlum · 31/08/2008 16:18

Oooo I'm glad not to be the only one.

DD said the other night "Mummy, when I go to school, and (DS) goes to pre-school, you won't have any children any more. You won't be a mummy any more really. Who will you look after?"

I had to leave the room to wail.

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aaaarrrgh · 31/08/2008 21:59

aww, can i join this thread. My DD starts school this week and am totally torn between feeling really excited and really sad.

Also I've been looking forward to having more free time (although will still have DS) BUT dawning on me that i'm going to HAVE to back at 3.30pm everyday. That sounds pretty tying really is it?

Fortunately DD is so excited and giddy, she's making me giddy too!

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Bowddee · 01/09/2008 00:51

Edited version of a conversation between my friend and her 4yo daughter:

Friend - " I'm losing my little girl!"

Friends DD - "Oh don't worry Mummy. I'll still come home to you every evening."

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sunflower1 · 01/09/2008 07:31

Just reading this is making me cry I've just split up with my husband and my daughter's start pre-school and school after Christmas. I am sure I will be stronger by then and things will be more sorted but at the moment it seems pretty upsetting.

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potatofactory · 01/09/2008 07:43

I feel SO wobbly about my 15 month old starting nursery. I feel like I'm betraying her as I can't explain what's happening, and she has been with me for such a long time, and is prob at the worst possible age for being aware, but not being able to understand what's happening to her. I feel AWFUL. 8-5 is such a long time. I've just waved her off for the first time this morning! (DH taking her).

I could weep! I just did, actually. She woke up grisly and probably teething; wouldn't touch her breakfast (not that unusual, though) and then I had to pack her off, and see her little face through the car window going down the street! Not knowing what's happening to her!

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thesockmonsterofdoom · 01/09/2008 08:05

I am there with you, my dd1 starts school on Thursday and dd2 starts nursery on Weds, I am so sad I intend to go to the gym lots and make my house tidy but what am i going to do, i am going to miss them so much, dd2 is only going for 2 mornings for the moment so i will have things to do with her but iot will be very odd only having one child. The only thing keeping me happy about it is how excited dd1 is. she has been wearing her uniform for weeks now.

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Runnerbean · 01/09/2008 08:07

onwardandupward,

Do you think it might help if we shout it?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEND YOUR CHILDREN TO SCHOOL, EDUCATION IS COMPULSORY NOT SCHOOL, THERE ARE LOTS OF US OUT THERE ENJOYING OUR CHILDREN, HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS AND DOING EDUCATIONALLY RATHER WELL!!!!!!!!

The BBC are going to be 'doing' a piece about HE next week (just in time for 'back to school') which is to show in practise how it works and back up evidence found by Alan Thompson and Harriet Pattison (book quoted by onwardandupward).

Quote from book,
Home ed is "an astonishingly efficient way to learn".

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notsoteenagemum · 01/09/2008 08:14

Home ed is just not practical for majority of people though, those who can are lucky.
DS was 4 on Saturday he starts reception on Wednesday my lip is quivering at the thought of it.

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potatofactory · 01/09/2008 08:23

It's not that people want alternative options - I made the decision to send my dd to nursery - that's done, and was much thought through. It's just the having the space to snivel, not that the decision is wrong. SNIVEL!!!

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spokette · 01/09/2008 09:02

My DTS start school on Thursday and I have been feeling bereft since Easter!!!! I feel I am losing my babies even though they have attended nursery part-time since they were babies. There is something final about them attending school - they are growing up and are no longer my babies.

As for the Home Ed evangelists, some of us want to work and have a career and some of us have no choice but to work.

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moodlumthehoodlum · 01/09/2008 09:38

I agree Potatofactory. DD & DS are both looking forward school and nursery - they have both been well prepared for it, and we think that atm this is the right decision for them. It doesn't make it any easier for me though, feeling all bereft

That's not to say, though that if at any stage it started to become the wrong thing for them that I would reassess, and explore HE.

I shouldn't have had my dc so close together then at least it wouldn't feel like it is all happening at once.

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Joolyjoolyjoo · 01/09/2008 12:59

WEll, here the school term started 2 weeks ago, and my dd1 went for the first time. I was a wreck beforehand- I understand totally what you mean. Up until now, I have been the only real influence and source of knowledge in her life, but now I am relinquishing some of that control to teachers I don't really know. It's like she's not wholly just mine any more! I do realise, however, that that is a really selfish way to think. dd was desperate to get to school, and is really enjoying it, which does make me feel better for her, but sad for me! At the moment she is only in until noon, but she can't wait until she can be in for a full day! The good thing for me is that, at the moment, no sooner have I dropped her off and walked the dogs and tidied up, it's time to pick her up again.

I would honestly say it's one of those things that isn't as bad as you think! When she comes home from school, we have things to chat about and "homework" to do together, so I actually feel like we are getting quality time together, and it means I have a chance to spend time with all 3 kids individually, rather than en masse (trying to see positives here!!)

It is nervewracking, though. And when they come home and tell you noone wants to play with them, it breaks your heart! But the next day they seem to be on top of the world, so I truly think it affects me, more than it affects her.

Good luck!