Indie schools never criticise?

[LilyTheMink]

Dd is going into Y6 at her independent girls day school.
I am thinking of taking her to an ed psych- for various reasons, I think she might have ADD or ADHD.
I've spoken to the GP who has said I need to talk to school as first port and then he will progress (with our private insurance paying).
So I have to wait until September. Even then, I just dont trust that anyone there knows her. I dont think the head has been allowed to go into classes with any kids for so long due to bubble etc. So all she really has to go on are results, which are a little above average. Her last form teacher will be with a new class.
We had one comment from a teacher last term - who has suggested DD for scholarship -saying the other girls dont want to work with her as she is disruptive and calls out etc. Also other comments that she is distracted by anything like a fluffy pencil or a friends face.
Having home schooled her and now trying to tutor for entrance exams, she is awful at focusing. (As am I sadly and may get an assessment myself)

I am basically concerned that indie schools 'sugar coat' things like this. Quite a few children left my son's school after negative feedback about their behaviour, and went somewhere else. I'm just pissed off that more has not been fed back to me about DD and there potentially being an issue.
Does anyone else think this is common in the indie sector?

[Legoninjago1]

Definitely not my experience, having been a private school pupil and now a private school parent, although mine are younger. I would set out your concerns clearly and concisely in an email to your child's teacher and ask for a meeting at the earliest opportunity .

[TeenParent]

I think independent schools are more likely to get rid of children that don't fit their mould (because they can, unless they are undersubscribed). State schools don't have that luxury.

My nephew most likely has SEN and is in an independent school. The school view has definitely been that as long as he is keeping up with the pace of classwork then they will ignore the possible SEN. I think this is a shame because he may be doing well academically but his social and communication skills are pretty poor. I wouldn't wish to say this is common or not across the whole sector though.

[LIZS]

Not sure why you need to refer to school beforehand. The main concerns seem to be yours. If you can afford to go privately arrange the appointment yourself and speak to the school in September. The EdPsych will probably send them a questionnaire.

[2mutsandsomebabies]

Depends on the school. I taught in one where the ethos was absolutely don't upset the parents, we need the money!
Not all are like this, but go with your gut.

[Hoopa]

If you get a private assessment then the school can’t ignore your worries. My niece was managed out of an indie which wouldn’t take her SEN seriously but then flourished at another Indie that would. It is school dependent not sector dependent and it sounds like your school is crap in this regard. Clearly your DC is bright so they don’t want to get rid of them as they help with their ‘good result marketing campaign’ which as a business is very important to them, but they also don’t seem to want to put in the man hours that it would involve to support a child with that sort of diagnosis in class to overcome distractions and learn focusing techniques. I would look at their business model and if they are thriving financially, sounds like they don’t have the staff to support properly but are too focused on the ‘fluff and guff’ side of the business hence the scholarship carrot benign dangled.

[Hoopa]

Being

[Popsicle438]

I don't know what it's like nowadays, but I have taught in both state and private schools. In the state school, reports had to present the children in a positive light, concentrating on their achievements.
When I moved to a private school, my first set of reports were rejected. The head told me that parents should get a truthful picture of their children. Otherwise, they would be unaware of any problems. I remember it clearly as I had to rewrite a whole set of reports.
It's hard to believe that no one knows your daughter at her school. As she's done year 5, the staff will know her very well.
What do you think an assessment will achieve? Are you looking for medication for hyperactivity? There may be other ways to improve her concentration on lessons.

[Hoopa]

@Popsicle438
Things have changed GREATLY since your day!!! State schools cannot do this and would be picked up pretty quickly by OFSTED if they only presented pupils' work in a positive manner.
Also I think your suggestion that the OP is seeking medication for her DC is offensive. She is clearly a concerned and switched on parent worried about her DC not someone glibly seeking medicine for a quick fix.

[ChnandlerBong]

OP if I were you I would just go back to the GP and say you've spoken to one of her teachers and go from there. If this is a real issue then a further delay is not helpful.

That said - if as her parents you hadn't noticed a behavioural issue until lockdown homeschooling then not sure how likely the ADD is? And if you noticed it during homeschooling - surely that started over a year ago so how come this is only being flagged now?

[Itsanewdah]

Definitely not typical! if anything things tend to get flagged more because independent schools and parents usually have more resources at their disposal

[MrPickles73]

Our experience is the opposite. A girl in DD1's class clearly has SEN in terms of her behaviour. Apparently the parents do not agree with this. As a result the entire class had some kind of evaluation (we never got any result) so that they could test the one child.. apparently the parents still don't agree she needs extra help.. ironically they run a nursery business

[Popsicle438]

Also I think your suggestion that the OP is seeking medication for her DC is offensive
So, if a parent isn't seeking medication for the problem, what do they hope to achieve by a diagnosis? What other solutions are there? I always thought that Ritalin was a treatment for ADHD.

[ChocolateHoneycomb]

Our school definitely gives a fair view of pupils. They are a supportive school that don’t manage out pupils but try to solve problems.

I think one child left the pre prep when DS1 was in reception because he was throwing furniture, hitting teachers and injured various other people but that sounded like the child needed a totally different setting with continuous 1:1 support.