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Y9 really happy with school move. Advice please

3 replies

smithypants · 18/04/2021 14:30

Hello all.
We moved school for my 14yo last September (2020) because during Covid we were flat out working for the NHS and we were really unhappy that the school seemed to be making no effort to try to continue educating them. We watched DD become de-motivated, sad, unwilling to learn when previously he’d strived to get top marks.

Add lashings of parental guilt and a bit of spare cash and we moved him to a local private school. DD already knew kids there from sport teams so we thought the transition would be eased.

2 terms in and the most common topic of conversation with DD is asking when he can go back. He found the standards much higher in the new school and talks about the teaching style being not as good.

We try to point out the positives - he has 2 groups of friends. We work hard to make sure he meets both/gets lifts etc.

But his POV is that his marks aren’t as good, he’s in the mid-bottom steps and he is remembering the old school as some perfect place that he loved every minute of.

It feels awful having this conversation all the time but he’s just chosen his GCSEs and I feel we can’t compound a difficult decision by going back. But that’s me with my adult perspective....

I’d be really grateful for some pros and cons and how to manage this. Thanks everyone.

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BluebellsGreenbells · 18/04/2021 14:35

So he liked being top of the class and has come up against the completion?

That’s a life lessons there isn’t it?

I think he needs more time to get used to the new school and I would tell him going back isn’t an option.

He doesn’t need to be top of the class to pass his GCSEs but he does need to learn resilience.

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Hellocatshome · 18/04/2021 14:39

It would seem obvious to me a year 9 moving from state to private school would find that his peers in the private school are ahead academically. Did you not explain this to DS prior to the move? If its just that the work is harder/he is no longer top of the class I would tell him to suck it up to be honest. If he is feeling out of place socially etc then I would maybe more sympathetic.

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LlamaGiles · 18/04/2021 14:44

It sounds a bit of a rushed decision for something so major - how much discussion and preparation did you do with him, was he on board?

I think it's quite a harsh move you've enforced on him at his age, especially as all his peers were probably similar in terms of de motivation during covid. Could you agree he could move back subject to certain conditions, eg a certain amount of homework time, engagement with tuition, etc?

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