Teacher trouble

[Frieswithanythin]

Hi I have messaged before about this. But I’m desperate now. My 10 year old son dosent like his teacher from the start of the term. He dosent want to go to school, says he has stomach pains. Cries in the car on the journey to school. He says his teacher shouts at him if he dosent understand the work, today he came out upset as he wasn’t allowed to go to hit toilet, he had to wait from 12.30 till 3.20 to go. He’s a quiet boy and causes no trouble in class. He wouldn’t say boo to a ghost he’s that quiet. I’m so upset for him. All his other teachers he’s had throughout the years have been lovely. He doesn't fib. What do I do. I’m not wanting to go in guns blazing. How do I word the email. I don’t want to just write is there a problem. I’m no good with fancy words. Help me

[CantBeAssed]

Awk bless him...its heartbreaking to watch a child feel this dread every morning for school. I would nip into the school and speak to the head...dont go in guns blazing, perhaps say hes out of sorts and its not in his character and could the head perhaps have a word with his teacher to see if she can enlighten you. Sometimes this can be enough for said teacher to reflect on their behaviour..good luck..

[Roo1000]

Definitely best to make an appointment to either speak to the teacher, the head or both. Don’t email at first as tone can be misinterpreted but certainly make notes after the meeting of what was said/agreed. Also, don’t feel awkward about taking written questions into the meeting. Explain how your child is feeling and that it is out of character, they should know this if he’s been there several years and never been any bother. Unfortunately, sometimes children and teachers can clash but things can be put in place to resolve it. Is it one form entry? If not, then you could ask for him to be moved classes. It’s also a really difficult time in schools at the moment, such restrictive practices in place and everyone scared, tense and tired; I’m not making excuses by any means, this does need resolving. Hope you can resolve this quickly and your son can start enjoying school again.

[TeenPlusTwenties]

If you haven't spoken to the teacher yet, protocol dictates you speak with them first.

Dear Classteacher,
DS seems to have been struggling with school a lot this term, I really should have spoken to you earlier. He says he doesn't want to go to school in the mornings, has stomach pains and cries in the car.
He feels that if he doesn't understand the work he gets shouted at, and yesterday came home saying he hadn't been allowed to go to the toilet. I realise these last two may well be perception rather than reality, but he is definitely not the boy he used to be.
Could we meet/phone some time to discuss how we can between us try to sort this out?
Kind regards

[BackforGood]

Excellent suggestion from @TeenPlusTwenties

Definitely speak to the teacher as first port of call, and definitely be open to the fact that - while no-one is accusing your child of lying - there can be an issue with perception. However, the key thing here is that you want to resolve things for your dc rather than go in to complain about anyone in the first instance.