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leaving private education

(17 Posts)
legoandlaughter Thu 19-Nov-20 13:48:31

Good afternoon,
Help /advice welcome please! smile
I have a son in private education. He has dyslexia and struggles with school work sometimes, he is the youngest in his year which also adds to the problem. He had a good school report, every teacher stating that he tries his very best and has a positive attitude toward tasks set. We have been told by the Headmaster that our son will most probably not be accepted by the Senior School, he is now in year 4. Obviously we are very unhappy that this is the case, but maybe it is a reality that we have to accept. Can anyone suggest what my next steps should be as our local school is way below the standard we need for his needs. Thanks so much x

OP’s posts: |
Zodlebud Thu 19-Nov-20 17:15:22

Not all private schools are so negative about supporting dyslexia, in fact, several I know are very supportive of mild to moderate dyslexia.

Your current school obviously wants to “protect” their results and that’s why they are preparing you now. Whilst it might feel rubbish, they are giving you plenty of time to prepare and put a plan together before he needs to leave. They might even be able to make some recommendations themselves. He sounds like a wonderful boy with great school reports. You should be really proud of him and don’t let this setback get you down. The secondary is just not the right place for him, but there will be a place somewhere that meets his needs.

If your son has severe dyslexia then there are several schools around the U.K. that specialise in this. If he doesn’t already have one then work with your current school to get an EHCP as it will open doors for him with regards schools. If a specific school is named on it as the best school for his needs then basically he goes there.

If he falls in the mild to moderate category then approach other local independents and have a detailed chat about whether his needs can be met. You might be surprised.

Also, don’t discount the state secondary schools. Some of the best support can be found in state schools and there’s no pressure of entrance exams.

JellyStrudel Thu 19-Nov-20 17:23:11

Have a look at Bruern Abbey - it is a prep school in Oxfordshire focused on getting dyslexics in mainstream senior schools.

underneaththeash Thu 19-Nov-20 17:50:53

What was the head’s suggestion about where to go next?

SeasonFinale Thu 19-Nov-20 17:58:41

Being dyslexic does not mean you cannot achieve. 3 of my kids have it- one got 3 x A* and 6 x A at GCSE and Bs at A level and a 2.1 degree at an RG, the other 9 x A*, 2 xA at GCSE and 3 x A* at A level. They went to different independent schools . Your son needs a more supportive school.

ThatIsNotMyUsername Thu 19-Nov-20 18:01:05

My niece has dyslexia and has a degree in psychology and another relative with dyslexia worked with nuclear weapons.

The school sounds pathetic.

SoupDragon Thu 19-Nov-20 18:06:03

It depends whether the head said this because of the dyslexia or because your son isn't up to the academic standard required by the school.

Is he getting all the additional helps with his dyslexia that he needs/is entitled to?

sosotired1 Thu 19-Nov-20 18:06:56

Do you think you are underestimating his needs? Have you had a recent ed psych report? If the school don't want him then it obviously isn't the right school for him, but you do really need a good picture of his needs so you can be honest with any new school and also be prepared to put in place and support any interventions.

Milomonster Thu 19-Nov-20 19:30:42

Agree with previous posts that not all provision is the same. My son has processing issues and I suspect he’s mildly dyslexic. The pace of the curriculum is very fast and he doesn’t always keep up but with support catches up. There is a group of kids in his class which get sent out for support. I’ve had an Ed psych report and I’ve had to keep on top of communication to ensure he’s being supported. It hasn’t been easy but his school has experienced been fantastically supportive. It’s a very high performing school but very mixed abilities in his class.

pinkdragons Thu 19-Nov-20 19:49:09

My relative with dyslexia has achieved a first class degree at a top university and has recently been recruited by a notoriously selective organisation to work for them abroad. My relative was supported well in state education, with private tutoring in the core subjects.
Worked out very well.
Your DC sounds lovely - you must be really pleased he is working so hard. smile

modgepodge Thu 19-Nov-20 20:35:12

I teach in a Non-selective prep school (no senior school attached). We often have children join us in y3/4/5 who have dyslexia/dyslexic tendencies/ struggle academically, often as parents have found support at their previous school not enough. One year, 1/5 of my y6 class had dyslexia! Every single one of them got a place at an independent senior school. Not all senior schools are super selective, and some have great support for dyslexic children. You just need to find the right school for your son.

AuntyFungal Thu 19-Nov-20 20:58:02

1. Does your DS have a formal diagnosis?
If so, he is covered by the Equality Act ‘10 and by the gov send code of practice.
Dyslexia is a protected characteristic under EA10.

2. What recommendations are in the diagnostic report?
Did school put these into place - in the classroom and with separate learning support?

3. Did school write an Individual Education Plan?
This is a statutory requirement as per the gov send code.
It doesn’t have to be called an IEP but it must follow the send code otherwise it’s not fit for purpose.

In order to be diagnosed with a Specific Learning Difficultly (SpLD), you must have a normal IQ or above. Otherwise you cannot be diagnosed with an SpLD.
There is no reason to write off these kids. Good strategies take time to show fruit.

Let us know & we can better help you.
DS has hfASD and dyslexia and is at an indie. Lots of experience of this...

flourandeggs Fri 20-Nov-20 09:57:51

Parent here of a dyslexic child descended from a long line of dyslexics!. Our local comp has been amazing at dealing with it, they really allow them to shine. They CAT test all children so they can spot bright dyslexics so mine is in top set maths but has help sheets for note taking in all lessons, dedicated 1on1 each week for spelling and I have ongoing contact with the SENCO lead and lots of hand holding when I am worried. The best schools now see dyslexia as a super power! Do PM me if I can help in any way. My friend has a daughter at same school with same issues who got 8 and mostly 9s for GCSE and is aiming for Cambridge so don’t let anyone tell you that your child isn’t worth bothering with.

legoandlaughter Fri 20-Nov-20 14:52:52

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement! Great to hear positive feedback about local schools too!!


OP’s posts: |
BigusBumus Fri 20-Nov-20 15:02:36

Have a real good look at what other independent schools are around you and see what they provide. For example where we live we have 4 very academic public schools in the area and also a much smaller independent that focusses on people who don't quite fit the criteria of the other 4 schools and need extra support. Don't know where you are but its called Kirkstone House.

supportivemyarse Fri 20-Nov-20 16:18:44

agree with other posters, very poor treatment by the school and nothing like our experience of independent. this place seems to be taking your money and not putting the work in, where on earth is their SENCO? they've not even bothered to suggest where might be a better fit. Is this London by any chance?

Move your DS and consider it a lucky escape.

freeingNora Fri 20-Nov-20 18:43:37


Have a real good look at what other independent schools are around you and see what they provide. For example where we live we have 4 very academic public schools in the area and also a much smaller independent that focusses on people who don't quite fit the criteria of the other 4 schools and need extra support. Don't know where you are but its called Kirkstone House.

This looks like an incredible school does anyone know any where like this in Norfolk

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