This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Has anyone moved their child twice in primary(18 Posts)
We moved house last year and moved our daughters (then in Y2 and Y4) from the primary they were very happy with. The girls settled ok but we have been distinctly underwhelmed with the school. In particular, they were shocking during lockdown and although I raised appropriate concerns with head, exec head and governors. The response were incredibly defensive and in some cases, was bordering on being a bit dishonest.
The girls were out of school for 6 months - and already we are concerned about some of the approaches taken by school ( eg they are not planning on doing differentiated work because of COVID )and we have since viewed another school that feels similar to the one we left originally. We spent a long time with school and the head - we trusted her and respected her (both me and my DH have some experience of education). They also have a substantial online offer and considerable outside space which they are/ they did utilise effectively during COVID. We would like to move them but are worried about the impact of moving them twice in a period of time. Thoughts?
Kids can adapt pretty quickly, the main thing is that they’re supported through any change. If you’re not happy with the school and feel it is detrimental for them to stay, trust your instincts and make the move.
If they've been out of school so long already this might be a good opportunity to move them before they get settled back into routines/friendships. Did you view this new school when you first moved and are they likely to have spaces for both girls? Having two children in two different schools is likely to be difficult in itself
They have space - yes. A number of children have moved from the school we are unhappy with.
For a range of very complex but legitimate reasons we didn't view the new school we have seen when we originally moved. We are kicking ourselves about that
I would check and double check you want to move. Organise a taster day for the kids and then do it. If they are underwhelmed they will rather be somewhere more dynamic.
I moved my younger dd in similar circumstances. Exactly the same issues except no Covid at the time! Useless SLT and in this day and age it would have been RI from Ofsted. Lots of well educated parents and a very defensive school which simply didn’t improve or match reasonable expectations. Poor teaching wasn’t dealt with and it was luck regarding getting the right teacher. Loads of outdoor space but that never makes up for poor teaching.
We moved dd after a year. She never looked back. One friendship continues but we really didn’t want to stay and her new school was dynamic and had what she needed. So don’t live with regrets. If you can get into the other school, do it. If other parents are leaving - it’s rats leaving a sinking ship!
DS was moved for the start of year 5 for educational reasons and then at Easter of year 6 when we relocated. He then went on to a different secondary to the children in his year 6 class. He coped fine with every move.
Yes - but because of moving and logistics of not getting the school we wanted originally.
Ds, my eldest, probably did struggle as a result. He’s very sensitive anyway but this, I think, has made him very self conscious and not want to stand out. We moved him for the last time at the start of year 2 and his overriding fear was not standing out and fitting in quickly. He puts on a front and can be a bit silly as a result of trying to make friends quickly!
But, he settled really well and it was absolutely the right decision!
DD3 moved in year 1 and year 4, for different reasons. Now she's just started Secondary School and she knows so many children! She loves it and is settling very fast.
I cannot see how’s school cannot allow learn at a different pace. They usually go over basics so the strugglers can access the curriculum and others are set harder work to stretch them. I cannot see why competent teaching is abandoned due to Covid. It’s likely pupils will need help and more revision to access the curriculum for this year and consolidate last year, but there is no way the least academic can slow everyone down or be left behind themselves. Remind them of “Every Child Matters”.
I’ll unscramble: I cannot see how a school cannot allow for children who learn at a different pace.
Mine moved twice during primary. Both have been fine but it definitely affected esp dd who moved for the second time into year 5 - harder to break into established friendships and the new school is extremely competitive while she isn’t really. But it’s given her a brilliant education nonetheless and overall she’s happy. But it has definitely affected her friendships.
Ds (moved for second time into year 4) immediately loved the new school (despite being furious with us for moving him) and it’s been the making of him. This school is particularly good at ensuring the kids are kind and respectful to each other so think the whole friend thing has been easier.
If mine hadn't been at the point of leaving the school already I would have considered a school move after the way they went on over corona.
I was moved, I went to three different schools in just over three years. I decided it wasn't worth trying to make friends, I expected to move again.
My experience was different schools and systems though, I went from an RC primary to a 'First school' in an area that had first, middle and high school and then to a faith junior school.
At my first school you wrote in pencil until the last year when you were expected to arrive with a fountain pen to be taught how to write in pen for middle school, the school I moved to had been using biro for 3 years so I went from printing in pencil to being expected to write in pen.
The school changes happened with house moves so it was too far to keep in touch with old friends.
I'm not saying it can't work but do take account of your children's needs. Are they happy? You only get one childhood and IMHO it should be as happy as possible.
Thanks for all comments. We have struggled with the decision all weekend.
They are happy at the school - have friends etc
They are not being stretched at all and Covid response was shocking. I think my relationship with school has broken down and I have been labelled as a trouble maker. I'm not convinced the leadership have the capability to make the correct calls.
That said - these are issues for adults and it would still be a wrench for the kids. Eldest seemed open to it but youngest deeply upset by thought of moving
My dad’s job led to a lot of moving house until I was mid teens.
I moved three times during primary, twice due to house moves and once as parents thought the school wasn’t that great (don’t know specifics). I was fine despite being a very anxious child. I moved secondary school after yr7 due to another move, then for 6th form. The move of secondary school was much much harder than the primary moves.
Do what your gut feeling is, and good luck!
Just wanted to thank all those that gave feedback - we took the girls on Thursday and they absolutely loved the school, both expressed how much they thought it felt like home and that they were happy to move.
It honestly felt that a weight had been lifted - they are positive about the move rather than being forced to and we are all are looking forward to them starting
It sounds as though it's all going to work out well. I was coming in to say that we moved out youngest RD at the end of Year 4 as we & she were unhappy with the school she was at. We then moved her again half way through YR6 so that she could make friends with children she'd be going to Secondary school with as we were moving house. It was fine on both occasions and she's now just started Uni with no ill effects! 😉