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Please help me sort out our evening routine!

(18 Posts)
toomanydaves Wed 19-Sep-07 18:35:07

So - we are two weeks into term and already I am feeling extremement stressed. I only have two kids, but what with their homework and improving activities, I am finding every evening a chore. I have tried to become uber organised and done a timetable of what needs to be done each day, but I still find I am spending from 330-9 hopping from one to the other as I support them through maths/music/reading etc. ARe we all doing this? are we farking mad? They don't do THAT many improving activities, I am not an alpha mummy by any means, but I don't get any help from dh as he is never in. How do you lot all do it?

juuule Wed 19-Sep-07 18:53:59

3:30-9 yikesshock 5 and a half hours!!

toomanydaves Wed 19-Sep-07 18:56:22

Yeh come on juule don't you have 400 children how do you DO it? I feel I must be missing a trick.

TheQueenOfQuotes Wed 19-Sep-07 18:57:34

how old are they????

My first thoughts would be try not to do everything everyday - make sure any homework is done first (obviously) - and then try and either

a) just spend 5-10 minutes on each "extra" everyday

or

b) do different activites on different days - with the exception of things like music where 5-10 minutes a day really is benficial.

toomuchtodo Wed 19-Sep-07 18:59:26

what are improving activities?

toomanydaves Wed 19-Sep-07 19:03:46

oh, you know, alpha mummy extra things like tai chi, mandarin, and folk dancing.
In our case, music.
But can you run me by your evening routines so I can see where I am going wrong?
So today. Came in, dd1 burst into tears as she is very stressed at the moment. Calmed her down, calmed dd1 down as she was copying her, let them watch tv for a bit whilst I cooked tea. Gave them tea then got down to homework, which required hopping from one to the other as neither understood what was going on. Have just escaped to go on mn whilst they finish off. We have not done music practice or reading today, so are officially "behind."
Farking hate homework! They are too young!

TheQueenOfQuotes Wed 19-Sep-07 19:19:11

although it makes the "school day" a little longer I try and do DS1's homework with him as soon as he gets in from school (well he gets changed and has a drink/snack first and then we do it). Then he has the rest of the evening to himself. Dinner is usually about 6-6.30 (although they're just finishing off now as I startd late blush) and they go to bed at 8

juuule Wed 19-Sep-07 19:23:55

Oooh you've made me laugh now. 400 Just feels like it sometimes....or is it how old I feel..hmmm
But seriously, I read their reading books with them at least once a week while they are on the lower levels. Only more than once if asked or have the time. Then I let them read on their own and select a random page for them to read to me to see how they are doing. Ask them what happened, what things mean etc. but mostly they do their own reading. By junior school they are mostly doing things themselves with me checking and going over the bits they don't understand.
Don't know about music. We haven't done that.
We have generally let them do one activity a week each. Some chose not to do any. They've all tried different things at different times, but not lots of things at the same time.
Do you know any other parents who have children at the same activities who could help with the transport? Or are you talking about at home stuff.
If it's at home stuff then maybe relax a bit and don't do some things every night (as I say I don't know about music). If something gets missed start with that tomorrow if it's necessary to do it. Otherwise move on to the next thing. If there is too much homework speak to the teacher and say that it will get done if you have time. Ask how important it is to do it. I've never been a great believer in homework anyway so it hasn't bothered me too much if it's not all done. I just check where they are up to occassionally. Perhaps you might view this differently.
Probably not much point giving you a run-down of my evenings now as I get confused just thinking about them. We muddle through somehow though

MummyPenguin Wed 19-Sep-07 20:52:35

Know exactly what you mean, toomanydaves. I'm feeling the pressure too. My DD has just started secondary school so is getting quite a lot of homework. Some nights it's not too bad, but other nights she has quite a lot. Today is particularly bad, she's had French, Maths and Science. The French she finished off quite quickly, but the Science and particularly the Maths has taken ages this evening. She started this evening at about 5.00, had a break after 30 mins or so, despite me advising her to just get on with it and get it out of the way, she continued after tea (we didn't eat until 7.00 tonight) and she's still slogging away at the Maths now. sad I have two DS's too, although it's not too bad with them, as they're in years 3 and 4, although there's still reading, spelling etc. Music rarely gets practiced blush I have started a routine with the DS's of getting their homework out of the way on a Friday, as DD is getting homework every day so we need to have the DS's out of the way to cope with that! Yes, I think we are all farkin mad, although we didn't ask for all this, did we?!

I'm also struggling with my daytime routine as I've picked up my gym attendance again, and am going 3 days a week, and on the days I go, I get precious little done at home as by the time I've showered, got back from the gym, had some lunch, walked the dogs (yep got that too) it's pretty much time to go and get the DS's!

Roll on half term!

toomanydaves Wed 19-Sep-07 21:18:53

Indeed. but in the meantime, what do we do. pranic breathing?

seeker Thu 20-Sep-07 05:35:42

I'm finding this hard too - hence the bump. One thing we have done is decided we can't do music practice every day. Dd used to do 20 minutes every morning (she's a morning person, so that's not cruelty to children), but that's not possible now she's leaving at 7.30. We've agreed that she'll do 4 lots of 20 minutes over the weekend, and some on Tuesday and Thursday which are our "lighter" evenings. But I am finding that we're missing out badly on"family" time, and ds (6) is feeling sad about it "Gracie's too busy now" he said last night.sad
Link to pranic breathing please? Or maybe astral projection?

bloss Thu 20-Sep-07 07:41:35

Message withdrawn

kid Thu 20-Sep-07 08:07:11

I get DD to start her homework in the kitchen while I prepare dinner. I am in the same room if she needs help but she can usually complete the work herself. She had Maths, Literacy, Science and spellings to learn this week shock

After dinner, I listen to DS read 1 or 2 reading books. Then I listen to DD read a few chapters of her book.

They both go to bed at 8pm so thats when I am finished. It varies a bit on days that she does an afterschool club which is twice a week. DD will be starting violin and recorder soon so we will need to slot that in somewhere.

It can be hard but I find prioritising tasks the best way to get by.

harrisey Thu 20-Sep-07 08:35:47

Don't know how old your kids are - mine are 5 and 7 (p1 and p3) as well as a preschooler.

We don't have time to do anything in the morning - the school bus comes at 8.

Evenings - get in 3.30,

Mon, Wed and Fri are evenings with nothing on, and there's no homework on Friday.

Mon and Wed they come in, get changed, have snack and do homework. dd1 (7) usually has a maths sheet, or reading exercise, or some language stuff to do. Takes 15-20 mins, plus reading book. Ds (5) has to go over his phonics from school (parents all have a book to revise what they did) and a writing sheet to do - takes about 10 mins. Then they either play out or watch tv or play upstairs.

Tues is busy as ds has football practice, has to come in and go straight there, gets changed and thats it. We all go, dds and I sit in the cafe at the football place and d1 usually does her homework there. Thats a night for a freezer tea - either something I froze last week, or fish-fingers or something (so not an alpha mummy - I'm not making my own lol). Ds dos his phonics after tea.

Thurs is our hard night. the way things have worked out it is the only night they could get booked in for swimming lessons and its also the night of our church kids club. So we go straight to the pool after they get home - ds and d1 have lesson while one of us takes dd2 into the pool to play, then we get changed, are home about 5.30 and have to leave at 6.05 for the church club. They both love it, so we just get it all in. My trick for that night is that they have a hot school lunch that day (luckily there is always something fussy dd1 likes on a Thurs) and I make a picnic tea for them to have in the car - sandwiches, fruit, yoghurt tubes, etc .... and they eat it on the way home. Then we do homework between 5.30 and 6, and go out to Kids Rock.

Most nights they are all in bed at 7.30, but Thurs the older 2 are up till 8.15.

I make packed lunches if needed for the next day after they are in bed, and thats it, usually. If we're having a casserole type tea the next night I put it in the slo-cooker before I go to bed.

I have to be extra organised during college terms as I am leaving at 8.15 am myself to drop dd2 at nursery and get in for lectures. And I like to leave it all organised as our nanny is picking up form nursery at lunchtime and doing tea etc. She's fabulous but she really doesnt lke cooking (and as everythign else she does is fab I dont mind organising something for her to feed to them).

Its the food I find the most stressful tbh, but I know for the kids its getting homework done.

bozza Thu 20-Sep-07 08:57:24

It's hard really to advise you without knowing your time frame and what you have to fit in. Our routine is like this:

Monday - DS has beavers at 6.15 so I need to make tea early. So when he gets home from school he can play for a bit, and then we will do his reading book and spellings (he can do spellings pretty much on his own) while tea his cooking. Then it is Beavers, home to do an activity (was sand picture last week) with 3yo DD because she feels left out. Then collect from beavers, bath and bed for 7.30 ish.

Tuesday - I work and DS has a swimming lesson, so he has a sandwich at his childminders and I do a mad dash with my commute, collecting DS from childminder, DD from nursery, and get him to the baths in time for his 5.30 lesson. Then we go home and he does his spellings and then plays. DD has her bath at 7, then it's stories, plus DS's reading book and bed.

Wednesday - I work and DS has football at 6. DH makes an effort to be home reasonably to collect DS so he has time to have a sandwich (which I have to make the night before) and get changed for football and DH takes him to football. I do an activity with DD. hmm And prepare DH and my meal - last night it was sheperd's pie (made last week and frozen) and veg so I only really had the veg to prepare. Then I get DD ready for bed, DS and DH home by about 7.15, DS needs a shower and is usually tired and grumpy so we don't bother with reading book.

Thursday - I work but no activity so we are home for about 5.30 (I get into work for 8 so I can leave early) and we eat about 6, hopefully DS will have done his spellings by then. Then they play until bedtime and DS does his reading book at bedtime.

Friday - quite often a play date. Reading book at bedtime - don't bother with spellings. Homework is given on a Friday so we try to find a time to do this over the weekend.

bozza Thu 20-Sep-07 08:58:23

I agree with bloss re meals though and don't really cook on the days I work but make things that can be frozen on the other days.

toomanydaves Thu 20-Sep-07 14:56:15

hello, just rushing in and out... whilst I was worrying about my evening routine it transpires that my dad was having a stroke..he is ok but has somewhat shocked me into getting head out of arse....
but yes would LOVE LOVE LOVE to nick efficient cooking and freezing ideas.

This is our routine

MOnday - shared childcare with a friend, one week she has them,one week I do, have just persuaded her that it is a good idea if they do their homework together
Tuesday swimming from 530, can get a bit of hwk and music done before that
weds home day, music and homework supposedly light day
Thurs drama can't get anything done supposed to do music and reading as well yeh right
Friday they have childcare, she is not really able to help them with anything
Catch up at wkd.

It's the 2 instruments for dd1 that are the real ++++er but she has shown real aptitude and commitment and I am loathe to make her stop. Mornings are shite, it's the only time they see dp and they are always exhausted. I used to do 2 hours of music before school, how mad was I.

toomuchtodo Thu 20-Sep-07 15:55:55

sorry to hear about your dad, hope he's ok

good luck with the rest, its a nightmare isn't it!

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