5 year olds lazy

(17 Posts)
Ghgtyhhd Sat 28-Mar-20 13:40:24

Apologies if the title seems harsh. I'm not focusing on coronavirus with this. This is a general issue since she started school. She doesn't concentrate. She loves art and crafts. But often just scribbles on paper. Lately she has started drawing people, flowers, planets etc which is great. But other things I no she can do ... She won't do and at school she's looking behind because of it.

For example she can write her name Olivia. she could for months before school. But she kept coming home with Olva or olila etc on her work. I told the teacher she definitely can write it. They said so far she hasn't. Now she's leaving out the I and writing Olvia alot. In just two days of practice at home she's writing it properly. We've been chalking it on slabs and writing in in her note pad. I'm unsure why she isn't doing it at school.

I've kept learning light and fun and in small amounts. Just 10-30 minutes a day and the rest play. We've had a craft morning too. But I've noticed her lazy efforts coming out and I don't know why she is doing it.

This morning I drew 4 colourful Easter eggs. One had 4,one had 7 and one had 5 dots on. She needed to count the dots and write the number. She can count. She has counted many times. But again at school she just counts really fast without actually thinking and pointing. Her teacher said she will be counting 5 squares but carry on counting and skipping objects if that makes sense. So she will say 1234567 really fast when there's 5. She was doing that this morning with the seven dots. She said 6 then 9. Then she eye rolled at me. I didn't mean to be grumpy but eventually I told her she needed to concentrate and try or people will think she can't do it. She then got it right straight away.

I'm not a nag and she's only 5. But I know she can do these things. She has extra help at school because she doesn't concentrate enough or proove she can do these things.

I do want to keep helping her learn at home. I'm taking this opportunity to give her some 1 on 1. But im finding she often starts eye rolling at 5 minutes. I'm not pushing. I'm not filling the days with work.

She's got wipeable maths and English books.

She's got an orchard spelling game. I thought we would lay out the letters the other day and put them on top of the words written on the cards. She was not focused or interested after 5 minutes.

All children will be behind and need to regain confidence in September when they return to school. Nobody seems to think they will go back to reception. I just wish I could help my daughter focus, think and try a tiny bit more. As I've said I'm not pushing her. It's very minimal work. I'm keeping it fun. I just feel she will end up being held back through laziness.

I presume it's laziness/unable to concentrate yet. I know the teacher said she wasn't ready for phonics etc until recently and now she's picking it up. But now she's home I'm just stuck! I worry she will never get the desire to "impress" people with her work etc.

Anyone have any tips? Otherwise I may have to enquire about her being held back a year and I really don't want that? I'm not even sure if it's a thing? I've seen nursery children trying harder.

OP’s posts: |
Etinox Sat 28-Mar-20 13:49:36

Get a grip, unclench 🤦🏻‍♀️ 🤔🙄etc.
You do know that in most of the rest of the world she’d still be in kindergarten?

zyxray Sat 28-Mar-20 14:00:21

@Etinox but she's at school here and the majority of the others are doing the work.

@Ghgtyhhd I have the same problem with my DS. He isn't actually in reception yet but in nursery year in a private school, but he is 4. He can't concentrate on anything and does the same with counting. He is behind all the others as the private school is quite academic, even in the preschool year. He will say 1,2,3,4,11,8,4 and doesn't point. He argues with me hmm
For example he knows the first letter of his name is S, but then tells me A is S and if I correct him he shouts no mummy/ Your wrong mummy. I don't shout at him at all. I don't say he's wrong, same as you I try to correct him and demonstrate. We have games which he picks to play but then he won't focus. We do loads of play and I try to get the counting in to that but he still fails. He insists 11 comes after 4. He has been doing this for a year and I can't see him doing it correctly now he has been saying it so long. I do not know what to think. I wondered maybe dyslexia as it's in my husbands family or ADHD ? I don't have overly high expectations, he is only 4 but compared to his peers he is very different.

Etinox Sat 28-Mar-20 14:11:46

Good point about being at school here. I could see one of my dcs would have floundered desperately in English Early years. We opted out and that child eventually got 8 GCSES A* As at A Level, still the same away with the fairies mad professor type half way through his RG degree. He’ll probably remain in academia, and having watched his peers and cousins I think he’d have rebelled and switched off in year 1 or 2 at the latest. The important thing is to validate them and not destroy their confidence and respect for the system.

PlanDeRaccordement Sat 28-Mar-20 14:27:33

I had similar concerns because my eldest would be easily bored or not interested in whatever educational games or colouring books I had bought. She is a very intelligent young woman now, but at the time it was frustrating because I knew she could do tasks but she simply only did what interested her and if bored, would refuse to perform.

So I read up on the Montessori method and then actually enrolled her in a Montessori school. You could try following that method and see if it helps? In a nutshell it is child led education towards educator defined goals. So in what you described, your goal is for your child to practice counting, reading and spelling. All very good goals. The thing is to ask you child what is she interested in learning about or doing and then folding the educational bits while she explores her area of interest. It can be very playful too.

So say she loves dinosaurs. Ok. Well read books about dinosaurs. Maybe ask her if she could name the dinosaurs, what would she call them? Have her be a chief scientist and rename the dinosaurs (spelling and reading). For math, you can ask how many dinosaurs are vegetarians? (She can look through the book and count the number of plant eating dinosaurs).

If she loves baking, then bake something. Well just reading a recipe and measuring ingredients, timing the cooking practices all those skills.

If she really likes dancing to music and watching dance shows. Great. Have her watch videos of professional dance shows. See if she’d like to pick a favourite song and create a dance routine. That’s counting built in.

These are just examples. But the point is ask yourself, what does your daughter love to do? What would she like to learn about? Think what questions she asks and then explore that with her folding in teaching moments that build towards your goals. The most important thing at this age is to give them a love for learning. If you make it into a chore...tell you child we must do this activity mummy has set up for you and then you can play or have a treat. That makes learning into a boring chore.

Apple23 Sat 28-Mar-20 14:45:40

Not helpful at the moment, but has she had a recent hearing test ? Even a very mild loss that she compensates for at home would affect her in school.

She may be struggling to isolate all the sounds to write her name, which may be because she can't hear them (or can't hear them in a classroom).
When you show her visually, she can do it.
Might also explain the concentration issue.

In the meantime, continue with the activities she likes, bringing in the counting etc, read and talk with her and don't worry if it's not formal school work. Her teacher will be able to put in extra support when the schools return if she needs it.

rc22 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:07:14

I'm with Apple 23 on the hearing test. When everything is up and running again, a visit to the opticians for a sight test may also be worthwhile. I've taught kids who have come on in leaps and bounds after getting a pair of glasses.


Ghgtyhhd Sat 28-Mar-20 17:07:42

Hello yes we had those done in January and February. Everything was fine.

I will continue to do what I can with her thank you. I'm hoping she develops more in that area soon x

OP’s posts: |
Apple23 Sat 28-Mar-20 18:10:09

If you're sure hearing and vision are both fine (and she hasn't had a heavy cold or ear infection since the test) then try working on encouraging listening skills. Google "Letters and Sounds phase 1" for ideas.

eddiemairswife Sun 29-Mar-20 15:25:51

Thinking back to when I was a child, I don't think I would have taken it seriously if my mother was trying to teach me.

ilovesushi Fri 10-Apr-20 12:53:45

She's not lazy. She's just five. I'm not surprised she doesn't want to do worksheets. I am sure there are loads of games, songs, activities that you can look up or someone can recommend that use numbers and letters. None of it needs to be pen and paper based.

Moominmammacat Sat 11-Apr-20 12:40:56

I described my 4 year old as lazy and silly to his reception teacher. I hate myself for this now ... that's what a four year old should be,

hamptonedge Mon 13-Apr-20 21:37:00

She is 5, teachers in reception have a class full of them - all much the same!

tempnamechange98765 Mon 13-Apr-20 21:46:39

My DS is in nursery class but is 4, and a bit like this. If it's something he's good at like counting, he will participate, but he rushes/doesn't try at the things he isn't interested in like colouring, drawing, writing. I'm hoping it will come but I understand your frustration as he too seems lazy.

I've found a few creative ways of making it fun. The most successful activity I've done is chalking lefts and numbers on our garden wall/fence, having him identify which is which and spray it off with an old cleaning spray bottle filled with water. He loved it! And the spray action is good for motor skills and strengthening too. He also really enjoyed a counting game where I had strips of paper with stickers on, different amounts from 1-10. Then he had a sheet of paper with numbers written on in boxes, like bingo, he'd count the stickers then find the number on his sheet and stamp it. Have a look on the Lockdown Facebook group, lots of fun ideas for young children. Also Five Minute Mum.

Reversiblesequinsforadults Mon 13-Apr-20 22:13:28

This is being self-directed. She doesn't see the point in what you are asking her to do, so she doesn't want to do it. Will she concentrate on something she wants to do for 10-15 mins, e.g. playing make believe or Lego? If so, then it's not ADHD. At 5 lots of children don't see the point to reading etc. You need to make it interesting for her and it needs to be done through play. Try deliberately spelling her name wrong or counting inaccurately. Silly mummy! Suggestions above are all good.

Zoe1417 Tue 14-Apr-20 13:53:04


I have recently come across a great channel which breaks down all the different types of phonic sounds for parents and also teaches children each sound. Here is a link to one of the videos about phonics and there’s lots more on her channel - youtu.be/Nw6_g8ouKK0 I hope you find it helpful smile

Also lots of practical resources for maths helps and Hit the Button online is a great game.

Creativity is great for fine motor skills such as threading, sticking, cutting, drawing and painting!

We can only do our best! smile

Useruseruserusee Tue 14-Apr-20 13:57:03

I think you should exploit her interests. At this age you can make almost anything educational, to a certain extent this is what reception teachers do in continuous provision.

For example, my DS didn’t like sitting and writing when he was asked to. But he loved animals and if we started playing vets he would happily write a list of the animals he had ‘treated’ and what was wrong with them.

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