Girls only or co Ed

[bloodyhot]

Hi all

Dd was offered a place at a girls only school and one mixed school. Not sure which one to send her. Views? Both very good schools.

[Doyoumind]

For primary I would definitely go mixed.

[KindKylie]

Mixed, every time!

[bloodyhot]

Any reason why?

[BubblesBuddy]

My DD went to a girls prep. Could not fault it. We chose the quality of the school over who went there. She moved from a small private Co Ed school. The girls school was significantly better. Different outcomes for DC though.

[LondonGirl83]

I prefer co-ed all things being equal but would choose the school that fit my daughter best (ethos, academics etc) as the main criteria. For me its not a major consideration either way.

[Theresahairbrushinthefridge]

I prefer co-Ed. All mine in single sex!

It was just the atmosphere of the individual schools. The co-Ed option were not as good.

[bloodyhot]

Thanks everyone

[LouReidDododo]

There is a girls prep school I’m seriously considering for my dds at the moment. It has an excellent programme designed specifically for the enrichment of girls self esteem and well being.

I’d really consider a secondary girls only too so they could focus on them selfs, school work and their own ambitions rather than getting swept away with teenage crushes and the drama of boys.

But it depends on the school and what they offer. I actually went to a girls school many many moons ago and there was no female enrichment just typing, sewing and cooking class

[MMmomDD]

It really depends. There are philosophical arguments and practical ones.
On the practical side - in some areas - the secondary exit options make it hard to chose co-ed, as the entry points for boys and girls secondary schools aren’t aligned, so mixed secondaries can’t prepare boys and girls for different exams schedules as effectively as single sex schools.

[BubblesBuddy]

If you think single sex secondary schools prevent teenage angst over boys - forget it! They find the opposite sex!!! Single sex schools are not nunneries. They will find boys if they want to and of course boys feature in their lives. For some more than others. Never chose single sex based on the no boys to divert them scenario. Doesn’t even work at single sex boarding schools. Co Ed boarding schools do make sex easy to find of course.

[sanam2019]

I think it is the wrong question. Judge by the school. I wanted co-ed but the girls schools around me were so much better, I wasn't going to send my daughter to a worse school just because I wanted co-ed. Judge by quality of teaching, Head, curriculum, opportunities for sports, afterschool care, pastoral care, leavers' destinations and so on. They can't be identical!

[user1493494961]

Single-sex.

[user1333796]

All girl's for girls and mixed for boys.

My daughter's go to all girl's and I wasn't sure about the segregation so young but it has been the best decision. In co-ed schools there is a lot of sexism from very young. Boys having priority in the playground with football taking up most of the room and girls generally not being welcome to join in. Boys playing more roughly and it being excused because 'boys will be boys'. Sexist stereotypes being constantly enforced in games and lessons. In mixed schools there is constant 'boys line up here, girls line up there/girls vs boys teams etc so the segregation is still there and more obvious day to day.

In my daughter's school there are strong female role models celebrated everywhere, through art work, posters, team names, campaigns etc. It has very good results for STEM subjects, as girls schools often do have. There is definitely a feeling of empowerment and that girls can be anything, that I've only ever experienced in girls schools. I think that is really valuable for girls in a world where men are still taking the lead professionally.

Whereas with my son I was worried about an all boys school being a breeding ground for toxic masculinity so prefer him to be co-ed.

Research does say girls do better at girls schools and boys co-ed.

[MrPickles73]

We found the same - our village primary reinforces gender stereotypes and the playground is dominated by boys and football 'whilst the girls chat'. our DD is now at a co-ed prep but by chance her class is all girls. She said she doesn't miss the boys but they are still around so we have the best of both worlds.

[XelaM]

Co-ed! Anything else is artificial and doesn't prepare them for the real world where girls will have to deal with both sexes. Also, quite patronising and sexist to think girls won't assert themselves when boys are around. Certainly in my vo-ed school many moons ago - the girls had the better grades.

[BottleOfJameson]

I do think primary is a bit too young to restrict to single sex, girls and boys need to come into contact with each other! Especially at primary age where typically their close friends will be if the same gender. At secondary level I do think there's an advantage for girls if they go single sex. They'll still meet boys and socialise but at school there's no feeling self conscious in front of them.

[XelaM]

Honestly, where is this stereotype of poor mousy girls feeling self-conscious in front if their brilliant male classmates come from? Girls don't need special treatment or be segregated in order to assert themselves and do well! They can very well handle the competition. Especially since in my experience boys mature later than girls and girls are the more diligent students

[XelaM]

Also... childhood crushes and romances are a part of growing up and there is no point to artificially try to restrict that. Now to gender-stereotype myself, boys are often the "simpler" creatures and girls' drama and grudges can run deep and be a very toxic environment if there are no boys "to lighten the mood".

My own daughter is 10 and had some drama and falling-outs with her (girl) friends earlier this year. It took one of the popular boys to tell her that he had a "crush" on her and for her to be included in the boys' phone chat/game group, for the girls to come around and for her to be included in their "gang" again.

My daughter loves cooking and art, but she's also good at sports and is in her school's basketball team with almost all boys. It doesn't bother her. In fact, she also beat most of the boys at cross-country.

[noworklifebalance]

I am easily swayed from pro-SS to pro-CoEd and back again but I don't think validation from a boy(s), or indeed the "cool group" of whatever sex, is a great way to learn about self-worth, self-acceptance and popularity.

[BottleOfJameson]

@XelaM

It's not a case of girls being unable to handle the competition it's to do with gender stereotypes and how girls are socialised to behave. They feel under pressure to be less assertive, more into arts subjects than stem etc. These pressures are reduced when they're in a single sex enviornment.

[XelaM]

@noworklifebalance Not at all about validation from boys, but when there are friendship issues and girls are being mean to each other - it's nice to have the option to have someone else to talk to. It's only natural to want to be accepted and have friends at school.

@BottleOfJamson Who would be pushing girls into gender stereotypes though? Honest question. The teachers? I really haven't seen this happen. Girls are often good at STEM subjects (certainly my own daughter is - she absolutely hates English, languages and most humanities).

[ForeverbyJudyBlume]

My work's involved quite a lot of research into this and I say co-ed all the way. It's pointless for girls to be boosted to think they're the best and can rule the world (which any decent co-ed school will teach them anyway) only to be spat out at 18 into a mixed environment with a bunch of bumptious boys when they can have a very nasty shock. Far better for them to mix with boys from day one and see them as just a part of life. And btw I went to a girls' school and was fully distracted by boys ...