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Incidents at school

(12 Posts)
Mlg9 Sat 01-Feb-20 14:50:46

Looking for some advice on some incidents in school. My DS5 is in P1(scotland) and has two asd (with other SENs as well) boys in his class of 25. Since he started school there has been countless episodes of these boys (one especially) lashing out at my son. He’s had hands round his throat, face scratched, pulled by throat, nipped amongst others. And on Thursday everything has escalated to the point that all the children had to take shelter in the cloakroom because the boy was throwing chairs around the classroom 🤦🏻‍♀️
The attacks don’t only happen to my son, they lash out at everyone. And I’ve already asked if my son provokes them in anyway and I’ve been assured he doesn’t.
I have contacted the school multiple times with various placating methods used on me. The boys have a full-time PSA but clearly this is not a good environment for them either - and they are also getting failed. Class teacher is amazing and somehow has managed to bring my son on leaps and bounds education wise in amongst this chaos. I keep her in the loop with my complaint emails as she always says to contact management. My son is particularly sensitive so he’s starting to get concerned about going to school and lashing out a bit at home (poss rection to seeing this at school??).
I work in a school nursery so know the standards that should be achieved but not sure if this makes me more enraged by it or that I am more easily placated because I know their hands are tied with a lack of funds for SEN.
Basically...I am asking what would you do if this was your son?
I’m half way through yet another email to depute...which will no doubt lead to him just placating me again! 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP’s posts: |
LadyMonicaBaddingham Sat 01-Feb-20 15:15:59

Honestly I'd be escalating to the governing body if you don't feel your concerns are being taken seriously (and it sounds like you have an email trail to demonstrate this). I'm not sure how it works in Scotland, but in Wales we have ESTYN, it's OFSTED in England. You could also look into that it you have no joy with the governors either. Best of luck to you and your DS 🤞

Mlg9 Sat 01-Feb-20 15:54:44

Thanks for your reply. I think you’re right, I really need to escalate it now. I have a long, positive relationship with the school (from DS13) and didn’t want to affect this but it’s just not acceptable for anyone anymore. Neither the kids, the teacher or indeed the boys - who clearly need more assistance. Thanks again.

OP’s posts: |
BubblesBuddy Sat 01-Feb-20 18:44:47

No it’s not acceptable. The school won’t tell you what they are doing regarding the input regarding their SEN but it’s obviously not working. However the school has a duty to ensure that all the children are safe. This is the duty of the school and the Head. You should also familiarise yourself with the behaviour policy and the SEN policy. Usually the behaviour principles will state that all pupils (and adults) have the right to feel safe at all times. You need to hold the school to account on this.

Therefore you must use the complaints procedure based on the school not fulfilling its duty towards your DS. I rather suspect other parents will feel the same. Follow the complaints procedure on their web site and escalate it.

You do of course realise that it might be very difficult to relocate these DC to other schools. Your school should be requiring 1:1 funding to prevent the melt downs which can be part of their EHCP if they have one. If they don’t the school should be trying to fast track this. However it’s not your business to say this! I do feel for the parents of these DC too. Your school has grounds to exclude these DC but you cannot demand that. It might be that they need a special school and they are in very short supply in some areas. However continuing as they are is not acceptable for anyone. Good luck.

BubblesBuddy Sat 01-Feb-20 18:45:30

Is this DS13?

Downton57 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:02:39

The school will not be allowed to exclude the pupils and special school provision is being cut to the bone.Get in touch with the head of the education department in your local council and complain. Involve other parents too if you can. The council will listen to parents, while teachers can complain until they're blue in the face and be told to get on with it.

Mlg9 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:39:14

Thanks both! No, this is for DS5 - sorry just saying I have a positive relationship built up with the school from when my DS13 was there.
I have emailed the depute again and I have full sympathy for the boys...I feel that they are being failed as well cause the environment is obviously not right for them.
They already have a 1-1 pupil support assistant - so I doubt the school can do much more. I do actually feel really bad for the school about the whole situation. But obviously I’m really concerned about my sons safety. Thanks again everyone.

OP’s posts: |
BubblesBuddy Sun 02-Feb-20 09:08:59

To be clear - any child can be excluded. Look at your behaviour and exclusion policy. As long as the misdemeanour is severe enough to warrant it. Very many schools exclude SEN DC. If they already have 1:1 then the school has acted and must know this isn’t working and something else is needed. I know special school places are difficult to get but the EHCP could be amended to indicate that’s what is required.

Parents do not have the power to effectively bully a DC out of a school. Of course you can complain but I think ganging up on children and their parents (who are almost certainly distraught) isn’t fair. Nor pleasant. The LA won’t discuss another child with you.

This is why you must be clear that the safety of your DC is the important issue here. The school behaviour policy will inform you of the pupils’ right to feel safe. I’m sure the school is trying to improve matters for all DC but I wouldn’t keep emailing the Deputy which results in platitudes. I would make an appointment to see the Head. Get familiar with your behaviour policy and focus on the safety and wellbeing of your DC.

Downton57 Sun 02-Feb-20 14:01:04

Yes, you're right, technically any pupil can be excluded but it is massively discouraged (only 3 pupils were permanently excluded in Scotland in 2018-19.

ThisIsBigMoon Sun 02-Feb-20 14:06:28

The PSA should be getting loads of behaviour support from the local authority Ed Psych, or the school improvement officer. I've been away from scotland for a few years now, and can't remember how it works, but that should be the first port of call if SLT in the school haven't worked anything out yet.

Mlg9 Sun 02-Feb-20 15:30:10

Thanks again! I focussed completely on the safety (or lack of) for my son. I also empathised with the boys - who are both in the care system - and from what ive seen of their foster carers, are getting lots of nurturing. So again, I know the level of “issues” these boys have and that really they deserve the best that the Scottish education system can provide them with also.
I have went back to school and mentioned that our P1 homework this week is working on the SHANARRI indicators which are part of our GIRFEC framework for all Scottish nursery/school. This includes “feeling safe” in school - which my son is not. He’s already started to get worried about going tomorrow and discussing how the boy will hurt him this week. I’ve explained if he’s in a state of fear, then his brain isn’t going to be at its optimum for learning and instead he’s just scared all day. And now we’re scared about what this could escalate to. I have not mentioned anything about the boys except to empathise - it’s all been from my sons point of view. And that he has a basic right to go to school and feel safe. I have also said, that I have documented all incidents...will continue to do so and will escalate the complaint higher now. I cc’d my class teacher in, because I want her to know we appreciate how much she does and that I also want her to get the support she deserves.

OP’s posts: |
LetItGoToRuin Mon 03-Feb-20 09:55:36

What a difficult situation. It sounds like you're being as proactive as you can, with regular emails detailing when and how your child has been put at risk of harm.

The only additional thing I can think of is to assist other parents to do the same as you. I don't mean 'ganging up' on these boys, but I do mean offering a friendly word of advice to any other concerned parents, to encourage them to send an email every time an incident occurs that affects their child. Substantial evidence from each of 10 parents that each of their children has been threatened or harmed on numerous occasions would strengthen the case even more.

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