Bringing children to parent-teacher meeting?

[mr87]

I'm new to the UK (and to being a school mum) and I want to know the etiquette when it comes to parent-teacher meetings. We have our very first one next week for my daughter who is in Reception. I am signed up for a 15 minute block of time. Would it be inappropriate to bring my children, 2 and 4? My husband is out of the country for work, we just moved here and don't know anyone/haven't made friends. All our family is back in the states. Is my only choice here to hire a random stranger to babysit my kids, or can I just bring them along? I have anxiety about hiring an unknown sitter, plus there's just the added expense. Just trying to explore my options 😩

[slipperywhensparticus]

We always take our kids to parents evening 🤷‍♀️

[almightygirl]

At the school I work at we say no children should come to parents evening. But like you, many people don’t have other options, so the office staff or TAs will stay and look after the children in the medical room.

Best thing to do is ask! Explain your situation and I’m sure it won’t be a problem

[dementedpixie]

At primary we were discouraged from taking children and there were no facilities for them to be taken care of

[Teddyreddy]

I've just been to my first parents' evening and although I didn't take DC, half the parents I saw there had. Could you email the school office and ask what they want you to do?

[Strangerthingshere]

Absolutely fine to take your children

[Michaelbaubles]

I guess it depends on the school. My DC’a school is a real family-style place and there are always many pupils, younger and older siblings milling around the place at parents evening.

[museumum]

Our school doesn’t mind either way. Generally parents only in younger years but they wouldn’t mind if you don’t have childcare.

[georgialondon]

It will totally depend on the school. I'd check

[wonkylegs]

I always took mine with me when they were at primary school

[mr87]

Ok thanks everyone. I'll just ask. Good to know it's possibly ok.

[BingPot99]

My DC's school usually has peppa pig /cbeebies or something on in a corner for them to watch with a member of staff keeping an eye on them. If yours doesn't do that I don't see why it should be a problem to take them as long as they are occupied with a book/extra snack etc. It would be unreasonable to expect everyone to organise childcare to cover a 10/15 minute chat.

[slipperywhensparticus]

We always take the child so the teacher can address any issues specifically at that time for example my daughter had challenged her teacher on his marking in front of the entire class we agreed that she would challenge after the class or at a less public time and in a discrete way (because putting your hand up saying you have been mis marked and explaining exactly where as a teacher you have gone wrong is not good for class discipline) 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

[TheSecretJeven]

I always took my dc as the schools expected them to attend! At secondary school, you'll need them to identify their teachers for you.

[JC12345]

Our school expects children to attend.

[crimsonlake]

The issue here is that you are not only planning to take your daughter in reception but siblings as well.
As a teacher I would say most parent's attend without children. There have been times when the family have turned up and that can make it difficult to hold a meaningful conversation. Check with the protocol of the school.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

I cannot imagine a single good reason to not take your child to a normal parent-teacher evening, anything that is of such concern to you or the teacher that the child should not be involved is more urgent than a simply scheduled PTA.

I would be extremely unimpressed with a school which said no children, and it would severely compromise the meeting, I'd be immediately set up to wonder why they were not involving the children in their own learning, why they didn't want them to hear the feedback they gave etc.

Obviously other kids accompanying is a little bit different, but a 2 year old toddler is fine to be there.

[ApacheTomcat]

At DD's school, most parents bring children along too.

[clucky3]

Going against the grain, but I think it's totally inappropriate to bring your kids to parents evening. It drives me crazy when I make arrangements for mine (not easy, I'm not one of these people with grandparents always to hand and ready to take my children) and have to sit and wait longer than I should because the person in front of me has brought their toddler and the conversation therefore takes three times as long as it should. I also don't think you can have as productive a conversation with the teacher, particularly at primary school age.

I do understand that sometimes people don't have a choice, but I think avoid bringing them if you can.

[CallmeAngelina]

My school asks parents to make alternative arrangements for their children wherever possible, but recognises that it can be difficult, so there are inevitably children sitting in the library whilst their parents are actually in with the teacher.
There was a trend a few years back for children to attend the actual meeting, but many schools have abandoned the practice nowadays as it is far easier to be able to be frank with a parent about some things that you wouldn't necessarily wish the child to overhear. We also run weekly class surgeries, where parents are more likely to bring their child to discuss, say, a friendship issue, or possible bullying or a lack of understanding about something in class. In those situations, the child's input is required.

[CallmeAngelina]

I would be extremely unimpressed with a school which said no children, and it would severely compromise the meeting, I'd be immediately set up to wonder why they were not involving the children in their own learning, why they didn't want them to hear the feedback they gave
Of course it wouldn't "severely compromise" the meeting!
And it does NOT mean the school is not involving the children in their own learning - there are many, many other opportunities for that.

[ThisIsNotARealAvo]

Make sure you have something to entertain the 2 year old so you can really listen to the teacher. I am a teacher and I find it very hard to talk properly when younger siblings come. It often feels like a waste of time as the toddler wants to run around and play and the parent leaps up every 10 seconds to make sure they're ok.

[Ginnymweasley]

I had a parents evening this afternoon. My dh was in work, we have no family close by. I took my dd(4) and my ds (1). The teacher was fine with this, they had a colouring corner and tv set up in one corner for this. I didn't realise other schools would have a problem with this tbh. We have no one to look after the children and hiring a babysitter for a 10 minute chat seems extreme to me.

[bombaychef]

Our school policy is that DC attend but I'm not a fan

[stucknoue]

The kids sat outside the classroom when my kids were at primary

[BubblesBuddy]

I would try and get a baby sitter you like. If not for this meeting, but to enable you to have some time without DC. See if other parents have a recommendation. They don’t have to be random people. Also if your younger DC are at nursery, do the nursery staff babysit?