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How do I play this - 'threats' to ds?

(4 Posts)
christinarossetti19 Sat 06-Jul-19 10:14:04

I'll try to keep this brief... Y5 ds had some sort of fall out with girl in his class a month or so ago, but resolved quickly.

I only know about this because the older brother of this girl (who is in Y7 at the school next door and I know because he was in the same class as my other child throughout primary), approached my ds in the school playground at pick up time a few weeks ago, finger pointing and looming over him. I saw this and intervened immediately, telling Y7 child that he needed to to speak to a teacher if he had any problems with a child in the school, and not approach the child directly.

He did, teacher directed him to the office to tell someone there and told me this, heard no more so thought it had blown over.

At summer event in the school last night, the Y7 child again approached my ds and said that he was going to beat him up after school next week. I only found this out afterwards as ds wanted to go home early. He said that he wants me to pick him up instead of coming home by himself after school next week.

Do I a) pick ds up, do nothing else and hope that it blows over before the end of term b) contact the secondary school although the threats haven't happened on their property c) speak to SLT at the primary school and ask them to speak to the child when he comes to collect his sister d) speak with the child myself, reiterate that ds apologises for upsetting his sister and that they've been friends ago for a few weeks? I wouldn't usually think it right to approach a child directly, but I know him a little as he was in my dd's class and would like to resolve this as smoothly as possible. I know his mum to say hello to, but there is a language barrier between us.

I'm thinking a) and then reverting to c) or d) if there are any more problems.

Also, the child has had ample opportunity to act on his threats (school next door) and hasn't, so I don't want to over-blow the situation, but nor do I want ds to feel (or be) unsafe.

TIA!

OP’s posts: |
EduCated Sat 06-Jul-19 10:43:34

Speak to the primary school, because they need to know that one of their pupils feels unsafe and is being threatened within their space, and because it originated from an incident with the sister who is one of their pupils.

Personally I would ask their advice on approaching the secondary school - being so close they may have good contacts, but certainly would also let the secondary know.

Depending on how you feel about it there is also the option of going to the police - your son is being threatened with violence by someone over the age of criminal responsibility. However it wouldn’t be my first move without speaking to the school(s).

iwantittobesunny Sat 06-Jul-19 12:18:02

I would speak to both primary and secondary, especially if you know who this yr7 child is.
I wouldn't directly approach this child. But wouldn't just leave it and hope it will blow over. Yr7 child threatening yr5 child to beat him up is not on at all.

christinarossetti19 Sat 06-Jul-19 15:17:09

Thanks. Dd was at the summer event last night and said this morning that Y7 child (who she obviously knows from primary) told her that he was going to beat up ds because of whatever happened with his sister.

I will contact the primary school and let them know that the threats have happened again on their property. My instinct is that Y7 child is being protective of his sister and unlikely to actually be violent, but as people say, making threats to other children no acceptable.

The primary deputy taught Y7 child last year and is very good, so hopefully she will be able to diffuse situation.

OP’s posts: |

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