WWYD- DD doesn't want to go on (day) school trip

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

DD is one of youngest in Yr3. (She is still 7). Next week Yr3-6 are going to the cinema. The film is related to school work but not essential. (The cinema gives the school free viewings of old films, this is a reasonably regular thing for them).

DD doesn't really like the cinema that much, and hates scary films. While the film will be tame for most of the class, she will not like it. She has said she doesn't want to go.

I'm talking to her teacher today, but what will be the best course of action? Make her go, and have a teacher have to take her out? (Likely to be at least 5/6 members of staff, and about 50 kids)
Ask her to stay behind and go to younger class?
See if I can pick her up after lunchtime registration?

I have no idea whether she will be alone in this.

[supersonictraveller]

Just speak to the teacher, and ask what options they can give her, and start from there?

[SavoyCabbage]

Could she watch it at home before she goes so she knows what is coming?

I don’t like going to the cinema either. I don’t really get it. It’s so loud for a start. And I don’t like being hemmed in.

[MidniteScribbler]

You can't expect them to take her out. If she's not going to cope, then she'll have to go to another class during that time.

[BiscuitDrama]

What film is it?

I’d be thinking watch it at home with her if it’s educationally required and don’t send her on the trip.

[BubblesBuddy]

To put this into context, both mine went to a week long residential camp with the school in Y2. Aged 6 and 7. The cinema seems very benign in comparison. I think she should go. Being the odd one out is never great when friends are chatting about the experience and your DD cannot join in. Children should be helped to overcome fears, not have them reinforced. It’s part of learning and maturing. If is also about saying that she cannot just have everything her way. She’s part of a school class, and the school shouldn’t have to deal with this.

She will just have to join another class but it seems very babyish because I assume the film is age appropriate.

[Sirzy]

Can you go along to take her out if needed?

Ds never goes on school trips, he is autistic and for him he just can’t cope and doesn’t want to go so there is no point making it stressful for everyone

[FriarTuck]

If she has SN and can't cope with the cinema that's one thing, but if not then I think she should go. The film will be age-appropriate and it's educational. It can't be that scary if it's relevant to what their learning.

[steppemum]

I think it is totally fine to say she doesn't want to go and leave her with a younger class.

You may find that the younger classes are going too, and may watch a different film, could she join them?

Kids are ready for things at different times, some kids go off to cinema, parties and residential trips at young ages, but some don't. The world will not end if she misses one film.

[HomeMadeMadness]

Like PP I would talk to the teacher. I would try and encourage her to go, with support if needed (could you not come too?). I think by just opting out without even trying to go you'll miss a chance to boost her confidence - she might find it scary but she got through it. If she opts out it reinforces the idea that it was a scary event and she wasn't up to it.

If she has some specific reason (SN?) that the trip would be too overwhelming then yes I'd let her sit out.

[steppemum]

as to educational and related to learning - hmm.

Our local cinema does this, offers free viewings to schools for some things. (maybe it is sponsored or something). Usually it is just a regular film. One year they say the Winnie the Pooh film when it came out for example.

[Ihatemyseleffordoingthis]

I would tell her that she absolutely doesn't have to go and that you will make it possible for her not to. But I would also tell her that her teachers care about her and wouldn't pick a film that is too scary, and that she might have fun if she does go. And - if work permitted - I would say that I would be on hand (having a coffee next door) so if she needed to go out she could.

[steppemum]

What is the film?

[steppemum]

you are all so confident that the film will be age appropriate, but the film is aimed at years 3-6, and she is the youngest in year 3.

Teachers and parents do not always agree on what is age appropriate.
For example, I do not think PG films should be shown to reception and year 1, as the British Board of Film Censors, suggests 6 + for PG. But many teachers and parents are fine with it.
Similarly, I would not expect to show a year 6 class a 12 film, but there are plenty of threads on here of schools who do.

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

To answer a few questions... The film is Jurassic Park. It's related to some project work on dinosaurs. It's not a promotional thing by the cinema, the cinema is community run and the school link is part of that.
SEN... Sort of. She has problems with loud noises.

I have now talked with her class teacher. If she wants to go with her class, she will. Otherwise she will join one of the younger classes. If she goes and it's too much, her class teacher will return her to school (it's only a few minutes walk).

Thanks everyone for input. She goes on all her other school trips happily. She just hates loud scary films.

[HomeMadeMadness]

I think you've made the right call OP. It's great she's giving it a go but there's no benefit in staying if it will be absolutely awful for her. Could she possibly bring ear protectors since she has specific issues with loud noises?

[Veterinari]

Bloody hell - I saw Jurassic park at the cinema at 12/13 years old and it properly scared me! No way would my 7 year old be watching

[ChicCroissant]

When my DD was at Primary they did sometimes show films but at school and there was always two films available so if you didn't like one you could watch the other (multi-form entry school, so films shown in different classrooms). There were some films that she didn't like (she'd found the trailers at the cinema scary!) so she watched the alternative instead.

So I'm used to an alternative being offered, especially not just one film that is a PG - we'd have been specifically asked for permission before they'd be shown a PG.

[isittheholidaysyet]

No way. I could only just cope with Jurassic park as an adult.

2 of my boys would have watched it at age 7 with little difficulty. But the other one struggled with it at age 12!

[AVeryUniqueUsername]

People get eaten in JP! Not sure I'd allow a 7yr old to watch it at home never mind in the cinema where's its dark and loud!

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

It's reassuring to know DD is not the only one who would struggle with this film, I'm the only one who has raised an issue with it (There is 20 children in Yr3)

[IgnoranceIsStrength]

My sister saw this at 10 and was utterly terrified. My ds is 5 almost 6 and I haven't let him see it yet as he would be scared.

[PotterHead1985]

I saw this in the cinema when it came out. I was 8. I was terrified. I turned round and watched half of it through the projector screen!

[WhoKnewBeefStew]

My dd at that age wouldn't want to go on school trips. I used to decline them on her behalf and they'd make room in another class for her. She's now started
To come out if her shell and loves school trips. Although she's not up to residential ones yet. Take it slowly

[FriarTuck]

Jurassic Park as educational? Okaaaaaaaay. It's a great film but they're pushing it to say it's relevant. That's like saying 'we'll watch Jaws because we're doing some work on oceans and sea creatures'!
But I saw JP at the cinema as an adult (on my own) and I'll admit it was a bit jumpy so I take it back about OP's DD going - I was expecting something a bit more factual and not a big budget entertainment picture

[CassianAndor]

I think a lot of the children could find Jurassic Park quite scary. DD has disliked going to the cinema for a while now as things that might be OK on TV are far more frightening at the cinema.

A poor choice on the school's part. YANBU.