Would you keep your child at this type of private primary school?

(13 Posts)
Mums21 Wed 22-May-19 09:08:03

My DD has done 2 years at private prep school. She was never a huge fan of it. In the first year she didn’t want to go in but I brushed it off as it’s a hard transition for most kids. In the second year of nursery it got better, and she actually asked to go a few times but recently cried and didn’t want to go in again.

Their practices seem a bit dubious to me. In nursery one they put ‘naughty’ kids on a chair. They have to sit in front of the whole class with a sign that says something along the lines of them having been naughty. In the first few weeks of attending she started saying ‘do this or that ...I said’ in a really harsh tone of voice. There was also an expectation of them standing quietly in assembly for something like 15-20 mins.

In the second year of nursery if they’ve done something wrong they take 10 mins of their outdoor playtime. Recently however she was playing with her toys and all of sudden said ‘bunny is not playing well. Go sit by the door’. She went and put him by the door, when I questioned it, I was told it’s ‘good that she is using her imagination’.
On one occasion she told me and my husband to be quiet or we’l be out, and when one of us said something she pointed to the door saying ‘out!’. Just to add we don’t stand for his kind of behaviour but she obviously picked it up from her preschool as we don’t go to any clubs etc. We also constantly hear ‘be quiet’.

She near enough knew her alphabet when she started her second year of nursery, then after half a year I asked how she is doing and was told she still doesn’t know all of it! I was shocked, not least because I wasn’t told anything and we finished learning it with her within a month. Now I notice she started writing a few letters and she reads 3 letter words but again I did practice reading with her.

Saying that they get decent results although they do give lots of homework, and the teacher is always nice to her in front of me. Kids seem to be happy there 🙄. She got used to the children in her class, and I wonder if their reception class onwards would be better but at the same time I’m thinking if it’s worth us paying for that kind of school.

OP’s posts: |
BubblesBuddy Wed 22-May-19 09:21:50

Good grief! You are paying for this? Don’t stay any longer. You need to move on to a better school. You know it’s awful so move on as soon as you can.

PancakesAndMapleSyrup Wed 22-May-19 09:26:45

I say this as a parent who has also gone through the independent system and 1 school was utterly awful and not worth the money, if you have any doubts like this there is no way I would keep my DC there. Go and have a look at other schools, if you are paying then you can pull your dc out and put here elsewhere where they will enjoy school. Have you been to look at any others yet?

Queenfreak Wed 22-May-19 09:27:34

Sorry- homework?! In nursery?
Using shame to control behaviour?
At 3? And 4?
No. Absolutely no way would any child of mine be attending that school.
Take note of your instincts. You are worried enough to post here, so remove her.

EatsFartsAndLeaves Wed 22-May-19 09:33:14

"Decent results"? Homework? Are you really talking about nursery, i.e. 3 and 4 year olds? Wtf?

Get her into your nearest council run nursery where they have a clue about child development, this is madness!

CouldBeaGreatMum Wed 22-May-19 09:41:10

No way OP!!! You do realise that private schools have no obligation to employ qualified teachers? I'm not saying all private schools are bad but this one sounds dire. Their behaviour management sounds absolutely archaic and like something from the 1950's. That sort of behaviour management would not meet Ofsted standards for example.

If you are already noticing these changes in your child's behaviour then you have your answer.

Langrish Wed 22-May-19 09:43:44

Ours were at state and independent primary in different places. Both were disciplined (which I fully support) but nurturing.

That sounds alarming.


MyThirdBestWig Wed 22-May-19 09:45:35

Listen to your instincts.

One of the selling points of private schools is they don't have to follow the national curriculum. Unfortunately that also means they can continue with very outdated practice which may not suit your child. I went to private school and our recorder teacher used to hit six year olds on the head with recorders. Either we didn't complain because we thought it was normal, or we did complain and no one listened. Get her out of there. School should be modelling treating everyone with respect, including children.

BrainScience Wed 22-May-19 09:47:02

That’s absolutely awful. I sent my ds to a nursery attached to a very prestigious independent school that we had always planned to send dc’s to. He’d just turned 2 when he started and they insisted on him leaving his teddy at the door so he could focus on the activities. He carried this teddy everywhere, it was his one thing he used to self soothe. I stuck it out for 6 months until I finally decided it was just bloody cruel and pulled him out.

Mums21 Wed 22-May-19 10:14:20

Thank you! I think I just needed to hear it from someone else. Just wanted to say they don’t give homework to them this year, only on holidays and they gave some in nursery one every week.
BrainScience that’s exactly something that our nursery would do! The most worrying part for me is that they just don’t tell you anything. When I asked if she has ever been in time out, I was told ‘once for being silly on the playground but it was not something I thought was worth mentioning’. In nursery one once me and another mum complained we were never told anything again. Mind you this is actually a very well known school in our area, with good reputation. I also find their 9-3 hours mon-fri a bit much and wish they would give parents some choice and flexibility as DD gets very tired and still needs her daytime sleep.

OP’s posts: |
Mums21 Wed 22-May-19 10:19:17

PancakesandMapleSyrup, we are currently in two minds about outstanding state school where we got offered a place, and another private primary. Outstanding state has very run down building but again has good results, teachers seem very friendly. It has big classes of 30 and a different mix of kids. Independent is a really nice school, with lots of focus on music, drama, art while being academic but we are more inclined to try out state school before paying again

OP’s posts: |
MyThirdBestWig Wed 22-May-19 11:55:57

Crikey, at 2! The whole point of a transitional object is it goes with them.

A good private school can be wonderful but to me there are fewer checks and balances. It's a difficult decision to make on what's always limited information.

EducatingArti Wed 22-May-19 12:00:46

Just go for the outstanding state primary. They ( hopefully) will be following the most up to date pedagogical practices and will also hopefully be a lot more nurturing. If you think there are problems down the line then you can always reconsider another independent school at a later stage. The nursery sounds awful!

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