Advice on changing my Son's School

(21 Posts)
shell7shell Fri 15-Mar-19 16:11:15

I really need some advice .. My Son is currently in Reception and from the 1st month he started at the School I thought I made a mistake with my choice. Since starting last September there has been frequent swear words he has learned from the other children .. when I spoke to the head teacher about this she basically just rolled her eyes and said not every parent has my view with swearing and left me quite frustrated. On the plus side he is very bright and one of the top 3 learners in his class and loves to learn however there is only them 3 out the class of 20 that enjoy learning and the rest of the class aren't really interested and because my Son is quite ahead it feels like he's been stuck where he is since Christmas and not moved forward much since then. There is another School where he has 2 friends which offers so much more academically and it is abit further to drive but it is a lovely School and he will have so many more opportunities to get on .. so after some issues I have decided to change his School and he's been excited to start his new School where he already had 2 friends so we all went today for a tour and he's gone all nervous on me today he was sick before the viewing and also 3 times after I'm sure this is not a bug and it is his nerves at the minute he's not himself. He is due to start his new School on Monday and now I am more worried than ever if I have made the right decision changing Schools .. any advice much appreciated. I've been reading reviews that changing Schools can set a child back 6 months academically and I'm so worried because he is a clever and bright boy confused

OP’s posts: |
admission Fri 15-Mar-19 16:59:49

I am afraid you will find "evidence" for anything if you look hard enough on the web, so I would discount the issue of losing 6 months. He is still in reception and has 6 more years at a primary school. If you have a place at the other school and you are happy with it, then I am sure within a week or to, your son will be happy at the new school.

LIZS Fri 15-Mar-19 17:46:04

Surely you have made the decision. If he is so far advanced academically he will ride out any short term blip. However Reception is more about play and social skills than academics so you may not see much difference until year 1 anyway. Does he remember his friends?

RandomName9 Fri 15-Mar-19 17:54:23

We had a very similar situation. My son changed schools in Reception, although it was nearer the may half term so he only had about 6 weeks left in the school year. Ours was slightly different in that we were out of catchment for the school we wanted him to attend so he had to go on a waiting list for a place but still attend the <not nice> school while we waited. The <not nice> school he was initially given was smaller in numbers & the teachers were lovely but the children's behaviour was awful & the parents didn't seem much better..screaming at teachers over things that weren't their fault, kids always late, not in uniform etc etc. Anyway I was really worried about changing him as he had made friends, it was late in the year, he was doing well etc but we had finally got a place at the school we wanted so we went along. He was very very nervous but he knew a couple of boys from nursery, everyone welcomed him & he loved it. Fast forward to the December parents evening & the teacher provides me with results of tests my son had taken in the June when he had just started & where he was 6 months later, his scores had more than doubled in most subjects. I asked if that was normal & I was told he was below targets when he started & with a little extra help he had more than caught up & was now in the top 25% in the class. He may well have been top of the class at the other school but he wasn't learning fully & the constant interruptions & bad behaviour were obviously having an effect on the teaching/learning that he was getting. My son is now in year 2 & the best thing we done was move him school. Don't listen to things on the internet about learning, you know your son best & at his age they pick up things so quickly. If you are worried speak to his new school & they may put a plan in place for him. Also we got some of the collins easy learning workbooks to do at home, they are quite fun & if he's into learning he may well enjoy completing them like my son does!

shell7shell Fri 15-Mar-19 19:43:18

Wow thank you so much for that the whole situation you described is alot similar to where my Son was going .. there were 20 children in the class but at least half we're not interested in learning and about 5 need extra help. I was upset as he went to Nursery with all of them friends apart from 1 of them who is at his new School and he's always had a close bond with. He is a social butterfly and will play with anyone who will play with him which is lovely. I was worried earlier as he was sick before and after viewing the School and it upset me thinking he was sick because of nerves but it's turned out he's caught the dredded tummy bug.

OP’s posts: |
DitzyPrints Fri 15-Mar-19 19:47:59

Following thread with interest. I’m in very similar situation but my dd is in year 1. Sadly the other schools that I would have wanted to move her to have no spaces we do have other options but not sure it’s worth the risk.
In your case I would chalk today up to a bug and see how he gets on next week op smile

HardofCleaning Sat 16-Mar-19 00:25:00

I think you need to accept that yes it'll be stressful and disruptive to him socially and academically. BUT it'll be temporary. He may well be set back 6 months but once he's settled he'll catch up very quickly. If the school is a better fit it'll be well worth it in the end.


shell7shell Mon 18-Mar-19 01:12:18

Thank you to those who replied with positive comments very much appreciated

OP’s posts: |
Korvalscat Mon 18-Mar-19 22:34:26

Hope his first day went well.

shell7shell Tue 19-Mar-19 06:37:40

He hasn't started yet we were quite worried about him on Sunday so took him to the hospital where we found out he has a severe case of tonsilitus, thrush on his tongue, and on top of that sickness and diaherra so he's been hit with a few things at once. They thought at 1st it might have been Scarlett fever bcos he also had a rash but that has gone now. just waiting for his medication to kick in and get him back to 100% and then he'll be starting.

OP’s posts: |
anniehm Tue 19-Mar-19 06:43:27

They adapt quickly to moves, many kids have to do it repeatedly because of house moves, mine certainly has to twice. As for the swearing, get used to it as even in "nice" areas kids swear, my friends son was privately educated and had the foulest of language at 5.

Korvalscat Fri 22-Mar-19 20:50:15

Just read your update OP, poor little mite I hope he recovers quickly.

user4564376534875487 Fri 22-Mar-19 23:07:52

I'm thinking we might have made a bit of mistake with dd and school (she is in reception). We had our doubts but now that she is actually there, we definitely have our doubts. There is an alternative state primary in the next village, I need to do a bit more research but dd went to pre-school there so she does know some of the children there, so it wouldn't be a massive wrench. I want to know a bit more about the teaching staff first and also hope that a space becomes available. DD has a few behavioural issues but I just don't think her current school is helping her with confidence or academically, in a way I think she is being demonised a bit and her confidence squashed but there are a few other plusses with this other school also - mixed classes which would actually suit dd as she tends to get on better with children that are older than her. Definitely going to do a bit more research over the next couple of months, then I might take the plunge and go for it. Not sure I've heard much swearing from 5 year olds but I know it definitely kicks in a bit later and sadly is pretty much par for the course by the time they get to upper primary/secondary. Hope the move goes well op.

Litttlepinkegg Mon 25-Mar-19 10:20:55

How’s things op?

shell7shell Tue 26-Mar-19 11:50:12

He's really enjoying himself so far 🤞 he's been talking so much after School about what he's been up to and his eyes light up when he's been telling me some stories. I definitely made the right choice.

OP’s posts: |
RandomName9 Tue 26-Mar-19 14:10:29

So pleased it all worked out well for you & your son. In a couple of months you’ll probably be like me & wonder why you ever worried about moving him!! 😊

shell7shell Thu 28-Mar-19 18:30:31

Update: We had a parents evening tonight and his teacher said he has settled in so well it's like he's always been there ❤ He's so happy and has even started waking up earlier excited to start his day ❤

OP’s posts: |
Litttlepinkegg Fri 29-Mar-19 06:59:05

That sounds fantastic shell

Litttlepinkegg Fri 05-Apr-19 12:25:04

Op is your ds still continuing to settle ok? Just about to move dd school she’s year 1 and feel excited but sick with nerves whether she’ll settle ok

shell7shell Fri 05-Apr-19 13:42:21

I was so nervous about moving him especially as he had been to Nursery with the friends he was in Reception with but it is the best thing I have done. His behaviour has changed for the better and he has a sparkle in his eyes when he tells me about School. The other day he said to me 'Thank you so so much for changing my School I love it' and then threw his arms around me and gave me a huge hug. It's not ideal having moved him from a School that is walkable to his new School 6 miles away but it's so worth it. Good luck to your DD hope she gets settled in ok smile

OP’s posts: |
Litttlepinkegg Fri 05-Apr-19 17:31:02

That is absolutely amazing op what a difference in such a short space of time he sounds like he will thrive there.
I’ve put the application for transfer in now hope my dd settles in a similar way that would be amazing.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in