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Summer born child with speech and language (comprehension) delay

(22 Posts)
Mummy0ftwo12 Wed 13-Mar-19 11:18:15

My July born DS has a 15-18 month speech and language delay (language meaning his understanding / comprehension) I am wondering whether to keep him at nursery for another year and delay reception (he would still be able to go to reception rather than Y1) - love to hear from anyone with similar experience.

OP’s posts: |
Amoregentlemanlikemanner Thu 14-Mar-19 13:38:30

We did this. best decision ever.
I will pm you my user name from that time.

FullOfJellyBeans Thu 14-Mar-19 13:52:39

I would definitely delay there is a lot of evidence that children who begin school with poor language are permanently disadvantaged. Even without the language delay it'll be a great advantage to have another year of play and to be the oldest rather than the youngest in the class.

Mummy0ftwo12 Thu 14-Mar-19 15:30:26

Hi JellyBeans - I haven't come across that evidence - I will have a look.

OP’s posts: |
Littlefish Thu 14-Mar-19 19:47:52

I'm a Reception Teacher. I would say yes, go and talk to the Headteacher about deferring for a year. We have a child who did it last year. He had no additional needs, but was very quiet and lacking in confidence. It was absolutely the right thing for him. He is so much more confident this year, and is really flourishing at school, instead of just coping.

Haworthia Thu 14-Mar-19 19:50:12

I have a speech delayed (possible ASD) May boy due to start Reception and I have deferred until 2020. It’s a massive relief to know he isn’t going to be sitting in class confused and bewildered because he can’t understand what’s being asked of him. Definitely do it.

Coldilox Thu 14-Mar-19 21:59:57

My summer born is starting in September having delayed his entry into reception for a year. He had a milder speech delay than your son, and in the extra time he’s had at nursery and learning through play he has caught up with his peers. He’s mid August so not a massive leap to be educated in the year below. Best decision we’ve made for him

Amoregentlemanlikemanner Thu 14-Mar-19 22:10:04

This

“ It’s a massive relief to know he isn’t going to be sitting in class confused and bewildered because he can’t understand what’s being asked of him. Definitely do it.”

Madmarchpear Thu 14-Mar-19 22:21:50

Hmmm. Deferring always seems a but like cheating to me. My dd was delayed at that age. In a school nursery setting since Sept and has taken off in terms of ability and confidence. She is 4 in May and comfortable with phase 2 phonics and her grammar and vocabulary has exploded.

Amoregentlemanlikemanner Thu 14-Mar-19 22:27:18

rofl.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha Thu 14-Mar-19 22:33:06

I'm generally not in favour of deferring, but in your case it probably is a good idea. How is he socially and in other areas? Is he in a school nursery or a private one (I'm wondering whether he might get bored or feel he's being left with "the babies")

Holidayshopping Thu 14-Mar-19 22:35:05

I absolutely would defer in your situation.

Mummy0ftwo12 Fri 15-Mar-19 07:15:46

Thanks all, I have emailed the school, I know that they have had a couple of children with ASD defer previously and it worked out well so hopefully they would support in our case, I am meeting nursery today for a plan review and will see what they think - he is also delayed in social interaction.

OP’s posts: |
anniehm Fri 15-Mar-19 07:53:37

Just remember that this means that they will be a year behind when they are at secondary school too - would they be ok with this?

Haworthia Fri 15-Mar-19 10:36:53

I don’t think admission to secondary school will be a problem AT ALL, considering summer born deferrals are getting to be more and more common. There will be loads of children entering secondary school outside of their “correct” cohort, so they’ll just have to deal with it.

As for “cheating” @Madmarchpear do you really think those of us who have children with speech & language delays/social & communication difficulties (or, in my son’s case, the whole hog) are delaying school purely to give them an academic advantage? His academic performance is the last thing on my mind. My main hope for him right now is to be able to talk in sentences.

Amoregentlemanlikemanner Fri 15-Mar-19 13:45:51

Indeed Haworthia.

to be fair, I have somewhat changed my view over the years. If we had a system where all children with issues were properly assessed at age 3, I'd support there being a restriction on deferral to those whose additional needs were confirmed by a headteacher or paediatrician. But we don't live in that world.

Re secondaries. We are in a comp. area but on the border with a grammar area. DS2 couldn't have sat the 11plus with his adopted year group. Thankfully our local comp is excellent so it's a non-issue for us, but if the OP was in, say, Kent, it could be an issue.

The larger point is that when your child has this very serious problem as a three year old you have to focus on that problem there and then, not get distracted by stuff like grammar schools and competitive sport that will only become an issue if you solve the big problem that the child has right here right now.

cucumbergin Fri 15-Mar-19 19:30:43

Yes. We asked about deferring at the time but could not find any head teachers who would agree (he's in year 2 now). DS has milder language delay (expressive rather than comprehension) and he is basically at least a year behind. School have been lovely and supportive and obviously give him work at his level and extra attention where they can but he's not magically "caught up".

But more importantly he does not like school. School is lovely, but he can tell he's behind. He does not pay attention in class, he struggles to do any work without 1:1 attention. And funding is being cut, and cut again, and cut again (while expectations go up!), so what schools can do to help is limited no matter how great the staff are.

Mummy0ftwo12 Fri 15-Mar-19 20:56:46

thanks all - especially cucumbergin, I nearly cried this morning when nursery told me they were going to keep his place for him in September before i had even made my own mind up.

OP’s posts: |
cucumbergin Sat 16-Mar-19 12:27:28

flowers Mummy0ftwo12 - it's so hard making these decisions. His nursery sound lovely!

Bailey02 Sun 17-Mar-19 18:33:40

My lb has just been discharged from S&L therapy and we have done school applications for a place this September. However my lb will be 4 and 3 months just when he can start but I'm wondering and worrying about it as we are really struggling with toilet training and getting dressed. I'm so confused over who I can talk too whether to defer and just wonder if anyone else has been or is in a similar position and any advice? I just wanna cry because he just isn't ready now but flourishes at pre school. confused

Amoregentlemanlikemanner Sun 17-Mar-19 18:41:35

Bailey there is "the" group for this on Facebook you need to find it.

Amoregentlemanlikemanner Sun 17-Mar-19 18:42:33

www.facebook.com/groups/121613774658942/?multi_permalinks=1077015769118733¬if_id=1525866685601557¬if_t=group_highlights&ref=notif

get on to this. It's the place to be for you.

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