DD is becoming a bully

[latealready]

She's 6. I'm not sure if it would be considered bullying as she doesn't go out of her way to target any particular child wanting to upset them but she just isn't very kind in general. I'm sure some of the kids in her class and their parents consider it bullying but the school ha vent used that word yet.

She doesn't seem to care if she upsets someone as long as she's telling the truth, so will point out when someone does something wrong or if she thinks they didn't do well or look good. We've had many conversations about how this isn't kind and how would she feel but she thinks that she wouldn't be upset if someone pointed out that she messed up or lost if she did but she also thinks that she would never lose or mess up.

At school she is constantly in minor trouble for being unkind and made to apologise but because she never causes disruption in class or misbehaves in any other way and always apologises when told to nothing else is done or needed. Lots of parents have complained about her but its seen to be dealt with as dd apologises and they are separated but within a week she will upset another child and within a few weeks will upset the original child again.

What do I do next? Can this still be considered normal behaviour at 6 that she will grow out of or does it need to be taken more seriously right now?

[MissConductUS]

I wouldn't say it's abnormal but she should be starting to develop some sense of empathy at this point.

www.mentalhelp.net/articles/early-childhood-emotional-and-social-development-reflective-empathy/

Does the school have a psychologist you can consult?

[AgileAsAGoat]

Agree not necessarily abnormal. Not sure I’d label this bullying either. Dd is 6.5 in a lovely class but plenty of mean things are said. Dd was pretty muppety with social cues very recently but has in the last couple of months been through a developmental leap forward.

Does your dd have any siblings so you can view her interactions at home?

How have you been made aware of this? Did the teacher bring it up? What do they say? They ought have a sense of whether this is significantly out of the ordinary.

Do you read stories with her at all? Is she able to engage with discussion about how the characters feel or what their motivations are?
If she genuinely has no idea aboutothers feelings at this age then that would need looking into further.

But I think, way more often, kids are mean because they are struggling with the whole complicated social world of school And fitting in.

Dd had a friend who was being mean to her and other mums mentioned the she was mean to their kids too. I know the girl and her mum a bit and I dunno what’s been going on with her but I have no doubt she’ll grow up to be utterly lovely so can def be a phase.

[KingLooieCatz]

I got DS this book at a similar age:

www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Filled-Bucket-Today-ebook/dp/B01KXZE444/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&keywords=fill%20bucket&ie=UTF8&qid=1548951918&sr=1-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

I'm not saying it's a magic wand or anything but it does give you a positive approach to discussing these things.