(8 Posts)
missmummymum Tue 22-Jan-19 15:36:00

Sorry you are going through this. I am also going through this. My son started reception in September 2018. His first term was fine however since the first half term break his dad moved out and I feel like it turned his world upside down, since then he has been displaying violent behaviour and being very defiant with members of staff. They called me into several meetings and recently decided to reduce his timetable from full-time to one hour a day. The one hour a day begins at 2 and finishes at 3:15 everyday.

He has no brothers and sisters and his social life is school. When he attends for one hour a day he is not even in class he is actually having one to one time with a TA playing football, riding his scooter in the playground, playing with the school dog.

I am currently in my third year of university and working part time. I have not been able to do anything for two weeks because of this decision that was made. I appreciate it is to support my child however he is not being supported and is actually being isolated.

I really want to take him out of the school as I don't trust them with my child. But I don't know if I am being too hasty.

OP’s posts: |
ILoveMaxiBondi Tue 22-Jan-19 15:38:32

If he is in reception does that mean he is 4? If so then he won’t need to be in school yet so you can take him out and find a childminder or a nursery to have him full time while you are at university.

LIZS Tue 22-Jan-19 15:42:43

This is an illegal exclusion . Your ds is entitled to full time schooling and it is up tot he school to support him and enable attendance. Is he 5 yet? Has he had any support for the issues, maybe visit gp and ask for a meeting with senco and teaching staff.

missmummymum Tue 22-Jan-19 16:58:56


DS is not 5 until April, however I spoke to DfE and they said because he is being violent the school have to do whatever they can to control the situation. Ds is currently attending Play Therapy once a week. So I am trying to get him the help he may need. I'm just very frustrated as the school have no consideration for his social and emotional well-being.

OP’s posts: |
Mner2019 Tue 22-Jan-19 17:08:42

Our DS struggled to adapt to school in reception. The GP pointed us in the direction of the school nursing team who has been much more useful than the senco. School pushed for him to drop hrs but the school nurse said he won’t learn to be at school if he’s not there. She really helped back me up in meetings etc. She is great. We have had 3 sencos since he started school - the first two were useless. Too busy supporting the head in some very dodgy decisions he made and not enough time supporting our son. Third one I’m meeting this week but I won’t be holding my breath on how useful she will actually be!

ILoveMaxiBondi Tue 22-Jan-19 17:32:49

Op he’s very young. Personally I would keep him out of school until September and get him into a nursery or childminder. I think it does more damage than good to send children to school too young especially if they’re not happy there.

admission Tue 22-Jan-19 22:35:35

The advice from the DfE is reasonable advice but it has to be taken in the context of what is actually being done by the school to modify your son's behaviour. Unfortunately the answer to that is absolutely nothing. The isolation from the school is not addressing any issues about friendship groups and interaction with other children and the hour a day he is in school is just play time to him.
You need to get him back into school on a full time basis, so that appropriate support can be given. You need to have the conversation about special need support with the school and get them to do something. The downside of this is that if your child continues to be a problem for the school that it could end up in a permanent exclusion (one that I would say was totally unacceptable) which would then lead to further issues for you and your child.
The bottom line though is that he clearly needs some help to get over the trauma of father leaving.


HeddaGarbled Tue 22-Jan-19 22:56:53

I think it’s unfair to say that the school have no consideration for his social and emotional well-being. They’ve allocated him a one-to-one TA (which is a very precious and scarce resource in cash-strapped schools), and are trying to support him with the contact with the school dog and physical activities.

This is a very difficult situation for you but you do need to work with the school to work towards gradually reintroducing him to the classroom with support.

If you take him out of school altogether, without even trying to work with them to reintegrate him, then you are in an even worse position than currently.

On the other hand, maybe he just needs to be with you at the moment. Is there any way you can take a break from your studies and work?

I’m not convinced that he’ll be any better in a nursery - same issues, different setting, surely? A very experienced childminder with no other children might work, but you’ll struggle to find that rare gem.

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