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Dd hates school(19 Posts)
She’s y6 so thankfully not long to go, but right now getting to July feels like an impossible task.
School has gone SATs mad. Kids have been whipped into a frenzy already with a timetable in place demanding hours of SATs homework a week. There are some very challenging pupils in her class and class behaviour is awful. Dd tells me daily she simply cannot concentrate.
There are constant fights in the playground and her friends like to get involved in the drama. Dd doesn’t want anything to do with any of it so has isolated herself from her friends as a consequence. I’ve spoken to school about this and they aren’t interested.
She’s talented in a particular area that isn’t “cool” so is subjected to meanness about that. It’s jealousy but heartbreaking.
Dd is, before my eyes, turning from a child who loved learning, who was confident and who seems to enjoy every part of schools into one that is miserable, possibly even verging on depressed, and longing, longing for the moment she doesn’t go to that school anymore.
Homeschooling, before anyone suggests that, is completely out of the question.
How do I manage the next few months?
I’d contact the school again. Your DD sounds like a SATs ‘banker’ ... they might want to think about what impact the current situation might have on their previous data. Seriously though ... your daughter has a right to attend school without being picked on and the behaviour needs to be sorted out.
Can’t you move her to a different school?
Racecar it’s crossed my mind, yes. The only two local schools are faith schools - we aren’t religious. I have another, younger, dc though who seems happy enough.
Kids that age can be really tough socially with excluding people. What is her special interest? They had a list of good books on Mighty girl recently about friendship dynamics and building self confidence.
Will her SATs result change her prospects in any way or is it just the school's place in the hierarchy?
Jimmy all they keep saying is that “they are aware of the difficulties”.
My DS2 hates school too, yr6 was very difficult for him. He is 15 now and we are counting down the days till he leaves.
Cinnabun it’s music and when it comes to that she’s oodles of confidence, despite the attempts of her peers to knock her down.
Re SATs results, they do initially stream based on these in y7. I believe that they do attempt to ‘predict’ GCSE outcomes on SATs results but that seems preposterous.
Have a look at the Not Fine in School" Facebook page.
My ds is in yr6, and he hasn't mentioned anything to do with sats yet. No sats related homework either. They only had craft homework for halfterm.
I do think sats is important, but nothing you should really get stressed about, at least not at home. It's just a test. That's only thing you should tell your dd.
Thing is I was downplaying it completely but then the school went nuts with it!
It does sound pretty shite to be honest. All you can do is keep mentioning it and be a squeaky wheel. Other kids taking the proverbial is a form of bullying and school should really be doing something about it. Perhaps a letter to the chair of governors about how you’re being fobbed off? You’ve gone through the proper channels so that would be the next step.
Without a doubt- get her out!
Even though it's only months, those months have the potential for huge damage to your dd. I wouldn't hesitate. Any other school has got to be better than this.
I'd look at moving schools if it is as bad as you say and you have another option. A faith school for 6 months isn't going to kill her!
Just try to understand the ethos of the other school wrt SATs before you move her.
Get her out
Kids seem to go ferel In yr 6 though. My guess it's the result of ineffective discipline procedures from day one and all their bank students, the ones who are used to try and calm the more unruley kids suddenly have their own needs, like really wabting to please the teachers with their work for the sats and finally teaching breaking point with the shit they have had to put up with, means that basically no one can cope with any of it. Like it was a surprise this would happen
I took dd out for a day . Went and had a coffee and a piece if cake and a walk in a park in a town a few miles from.school where hopefully no one saw us.
Didn't solve the issue with the school but it made a difference to dd for that day.
Teen would she even get into a faith school? I'm not even baptised, never mind my dc! And unless the option has available before/after school provision it's not actually an option at all. As much as I hate that I have to prioritise work here it's the way it is.
Giles you have summed it up in a nutshell.
She'd get in if they had a space and no one higher up wanted it. Not many people want to move schools mid year 6 after all...
re Before / after school provision. Lots of secondary kids don't have any. I may be that if your DD could get herself there and back she could do this step up a year early. Especially considering current situation.
Regardless I'd raise merry hell at the school re the meanness. Make it more effort for them to not solve it than to solve it.
issues in y6 are not uncommon. But your DD seems to be disproportionately impacted.
I know that once she gets into secondary school there's no after school provision. I'm not too concerned: she'll probably be going to the school over the road from us for y7, and the library stays open until 5.30 so she could, if she wanted, stay at school. The nearest primary school, however, is two miles away, involving some very busy roads and I'm not sure I'd be happy about her doing that journey alone just yet.
Clearly the plan for y6 is to work on all of that: I'm not daft. It's a good suggestion though (I'm not trying to be obstructive!).
I'm keeping a very, very close eye on things atm.