Friend boasting about Y1 reading levels

(59 Posts)
CalamityJane10 Fri 02-Nov-18 19:51:47

DS is Y1 and on Turquoise /level 7 book band. I thought he was doing really well; I am really proud of him.

Met an old friend today whose DD is same age and at a top London prep. She asked me outright what reading level DS is on and was visibly pleased when I told her.

So I (stupidly) asked about her DD and she said most of class are on Purple or level 8 and her DS has just been moved up to Gold.

I just feel really flat about it. DS is one of the stronger readers at his school but none are on level 8. Should I be worried?

OP’s posts: |
CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry Fri 02-Nov-18 19:55:14

You should take this as a lesson that some people are twats and you shouldn’t get into conversations about stuff like this if you can avoid it.
She looked delighted about the reading levels in year one. You should def mention that your dc is reading Japanese at level five or something just to shout her up.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry Fri 02-Nov-18 19:56:19

*shut her up.
Oh and please don’t let this change your being proud of your kids achievement x

SoyDora Fri 02-Nov-18 19:58:58

Gosh, do people actually talk about this sort of stuff?

KennDodd Fri 02-Nov-18 19:59:04

What level is gold?

user1468942365 Fri 02-Nov-18 20:00:37

Apparently there's no real evidence that being "advanced" in y1 makes a toodle of difference in grown ups. And she's a twit. And not very nice.

Starlight345 Fri 02-Nov-18 20:05:16

This is why I never discuss my Ds. Some teachers push through reading levels quicker than others. If he is a strong reader be proud . At year one none of this maters . For some struggling it will just click and will steam ahead.

Take it all with a pinch of salt enjoy your ds’s progress.

I remember when my Ds was in reception . I had a friend we used to discuss how much our boys were enjoying reading in private as all friends of boys seemed to be struggling to get their boys to even do reading. They didn’t need to know this just wasn’t a parenting challenge for us . But even so we didn’t discuss levels.


Soubriquet Fri 02-Nov-18 20:06:21

Everyone’s kids learn differently

Dd is 5 and her reading skills are spectacular!

Her writing however, is very sloppy and needs lots of practice

xyzandabc Fri 02-Nov-18 20:10:23

Unless you go in to school an volunteer to hear the children read (in which case you certainly don't talk about other children's abilities outside of the classroom), how do either you, or she, know what levels every child in the class is on?

Heck I've done reading with kids an afternoon a week for 4 or 5 years now across a variety of year groups and I couldn't tell you what levels they are all on without looking it up. I have a general idea of some that I read frequently with but not more than that.

ghostsandghoulies Fri 02-Nov-18 20:10:45

Some people who choose private are insecure about their choice so revel in info like their kids are X years/months ahead of their state school counterparts. She's not a friend with her attitude so remember not to fall into the trap of comparing in future

Ali1cedowntherabbithole Fri 02-Nov-18 20:11:04

It's a lesson OP.

Back away slowly from the crazies.

Ohyesiam Fri 02-Nov-18 20:12:59

You have afirend problem , not a reading problem.
I generally cut people off for being so nasty, smug and unaware.

Mummyshark2018 Fri 02-Nov-18 20:17:46

As others have said some teachers push through levels quicker to others. Current dc teacher is very keen on comprehension (which is correct imo) and so takes longer to move to a different level. I would not worry about it. She was being a gloating twat! I would've loved to say something like 'only gold, I thought little Jonny would be on at least platinum by now given all that money you're spending' 

LordPickle Fri 02-Nov-18 20:32:18

Your "friend" is a smug twat. It's incredibly tacky to enquire about your friends kids so you can take the "opportunity" to brag about your own.

CalamityJane10 Fri 02-Nov-18 20:35:04

Thanks for the good advice. I wish I’d been quick enough to say some of the suggestions on here or just lie. She is normally lovely so I felt quite blindsided by it.
I am obviously still really proud of DS!

OP’s posts: |
Mrsr8 Fri 02-Nov-18 20:38:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRollingCrone Fri 02-Nov-18 20:42:05

Oh who was the fab poster on here who, when asked used to answer "She's on Black level, Black like her soul"

grin genius

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones Fri 02-Nov-18 21:53:56

Wow how embarrassing for her. I've put my foot in in before but if I'd acted like her I'd have been mortified with myself afterwards. Some schools are very pushy about getting children to higher reading levels, others prefer to focus on expression, comprehension and actually allowing the children to enjoy reading without pressure. Sounds like your DS is doing brilliantly. Ignore her friend and pit her child if she's going to use him to bolster her own self esteem.

phantomofthenorthlaine Fri 02-Nov-18 21:56:12

She's probably the type of person who goes through other DCs reading folders when they are at her house for a play date. Ugh.

Cuckooclocks Fri 02-Nov-18 22:00:16

Shake it off OP, it says more about her insecurities than anything else. Besides she might be exaggerating to make it seem it was worth sending her son to a top London prep.

wtffgs2 Fri 02-Nov-18 22:21:10

Jeez - she is a very insecure woman! Reading some artificially established "band" at X age doesn't mean little Jasper is on a fast-track to success.

Private schools have smaller class sizes which - I shit you not - lead to each kid getting more attention  Of course little J is powering through the bands.

Lots of us mere mortals send our kids to 30+ classes where the kids' reading isn't heard every day and quite a lot of our kids do ok - despite the shitty inadequacies of state education (ex-teacher who blames the system not the poor buggers working at the coal face!)

Your "friend" is a nob, btw 

HettieBettie Fri 02-Nov-18 22:23:34

All schools reading bands and levels differ your level 7 could be above their gold.

There is no set national banding for schools to use.

HettieBettie Fri 02-Nov-18 22:23:57

And your friend is a twat. So fuck her x

Spankyoumuchly Fri 02-Nov-18 22:32:51

I hate this! Ds1 couldn't read until he was in year 4, so I couldn't join in with boasting at infant school. Poor me. He's at secondary school now and no-one has ever asked me about how his reading is. Which is a shame as he can read anything now. Bah!
Ignore and don't ask in future.

Milliepatch Fri 02-Nov-18 22:34:32

Gosh I'm a teacher and cant bare this type of competitive parenting hmm. Turquoise is working above what we'd expect for year so dont let it affect you! Others are also correct some ramp through reading levels where as I would rather the ensure comprehension, innotation and retelling are secure too! X

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