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Reception dd sitting with a very unruly child at a "naughty"table what to do & why the placement?

(34 Posts)
peppersneezes000 Wed 17-Oct-18 20:59:07

Since my DD started YR she has been put sitting on the "red" table. She is one of oldest in year & is quiet & conscientious. The boy next to her is very unruly & she says he takes alot of teachers time & needs extra help. She doesn't seem to mind him & says they've become friends which is good. There are 2 other really naughty boys at her table too, I've seen these boys at the school collection & they are very unruly, DD says they are the same in class.
I asked the teacher in general how she was getting on & she replied "super, extremely bright child who seems to enjoy school do much & has impeccible"... If so why is she stuck on the "naughty table" as DD calls it.. is there logic behind it as I'm sure it must hamper her development but I'm no expert...

OP’s posts: |
Stormwhale Wed 17-Oct-18 21:02:41

I can't help you as I'm in the same situation with my dd in reception. She keeps getting put next to the seriously naughty boy as apparently she can help him behave. I don't like it at all. It isn't Dds job to control this boys behaviour and it is making her anxious. Parents evening is coming up so I will be chatting it over with her teacher then.

Orlande Wed 17-Oct-18 21:05:28

Someone has to sit there. Maybe they are a better combination than any other available. Or maybe it's alphabetical.
In Reception they spend so little time sitting at tables that I wouldn't worry about it.

3teens2cats Wed 17-Oct-18 21:11:02

In reception they normally don't sit at their tables for long periods. Lots of the day will be moving around, different group work and plenty of self chosen activities, carpet time etc. I therefore wouldn't worry too much, although I understand being a good role model can get annoying if over done which is more likely to occur as they get older.

peppersneezes000 Tue 23-Oct-18 10:34:36

Thanks for the replies.. dd hasn't been giving out as such & says she likes the boy, he makes her laugh & they're friends however she said he can be extremely naughty but "has to be" his partner for maths every day & for "words"... Don't understand the logic behind it...

OP’s posts: |
Haworthia Tue 23-Oct-18 10:40:52

There was a long thread recently about well behaved girls being made to sit next to “naughty” children (usually boys) to keep them in line. It’s a tale as old as time. I remember it happening to me when I was at junior school in the 80s. Now it’s happening to my daughter.

I’m not happy about it, but DD is friends with the boy (apart from the time he punched her and pulled her hair) so I feel like I have no reason to object hmm

Skynight90 Tue 23-Oct-18 10:40:54

Maybe he likes her and listens to her more thank anyone else?

Rainbowturkey Tue 23-Oct-18 10:44:17

This happened to my older DDs throughout primary school, apparently to be a good influence/ because they won’t mess around with the more disruptive child.

Growingpeopleme Tue 23-Oct-18 11:18:08

Currently in year 6 with a dd who has always been partnered with boys with difficult behaviour or dc with learning difficulties. There have been times when I have said to teachers it would be nice for her to sit next to someone who challenges or helps her or just a friend. Overall it’s been fine and def part of classroom management. No suggestions except to ask for a change next term if it bothers your dd.

Tomorrowillbeachicken Tue 23-Oct-18 11:43:22

It might be because she is not easily distracted. My son has SEN and although not really naughty he is chatty and a girl was put next to him, my friends daughter, that can tune him out.

fudgeandtortillas Tue 23-Oct-18 15:00:09

My lovely DS who has SEN is quite often sat next to the brightest, kindest and most hard working children in his class. I think that he does sometimes help or challenge, and is most definitely a friend to his class mates. Sometimes pupils with very different needs are put together because they can help each other. It might not always be one way.

Hoppinggreen Tue 23-Oct-18 21:37:14

My dd is now 13 but she had this all through Primary until she got stabbed in the leg with a compass and I put a stop to it.
It wasn’t her job to help or keep disruptive pupils calm but as long as she didn’t mind I was ok with it. However, as she got older and the disruptive behaviour she was supposed to be mitigating got more severe - chair throwing rather than wriggling around I did get involved.
She actually likes helping others but her own education should come first.

BackforGood Tue 23-Oct-18 23:36:01

Can you really not see the logic of it ?? Putting someone who struggles to concentrate, next to someone who is not easily distracted is a very logical solution. If you put 2 easily distracted folk together, nothing will ever get done. As others have said, it has been done since the dinosaurs roamed the earth. I remember me and my friend at Junior school (1970s) sitting at a table with 2 little lads who struggled quite a lot with life. It was never a problem for us, and I remember them fondly With hindsight, yes, I suspect we helped them quite a lot over that year but it was never to the detriment or our education - quite the contrary. it's good to take on board a bit of empathy. My dd1 in particular I remember coming home from Reception very proud of having her own special spot to sit on, when they were on the carpet, and (without being told by the teacher) she twigged it was because she was there to help 'x' learn how to sit a bit better. She was quite proud, not upset or annoyed or cross about it at all.
You say your dd is quite happy, so what is the problem ?

donkeysandzebras Tue 23-Oct-18 23:59:26

My DD is hard working, obedient etc and always sits next to an unruly boy. I think it can have its advantages as she will have to deal with people like that throughout life and she can also see how rules can be challenged and ignored and what the consequences are. Where I do draw the line is if it causes her discomfort - eg the boy who was constantly prodding her with a pencil, pulling her plait - or actively interrupts her or similar. I also decided a couple of years ago to have no qualms about being that parent on occasion and so, before a big school trip or something, might mention to the teacher that having been paired with Boy A for writing all year, day next to Boys B and C all year and put in a group with Boys C, D & E for a particular activity, she was looking forward to finally being in a group with one of her friends on the trip.

PenguinSaidEverything Wed 24-Oct-18 00:04:08

It’s completely standard to put children in mixed-ability pairings (and mixed-behaviour pairings). Teachers should recognise the challenge for the ‘good’ child though and swap them round every so often to give them a break!

dulcefarniente Wed 24-Oct-18 00:17:11

Depends on how they handle it. My dd was upset at being put with the naughty children as she felt the teacher thought she was naughty and she couldn't concentrate and was getting stressed about it. She was teased about being on the naughty table by the other kids. I raised her concerns and was told that they wanted her as a role model for the other children but decided to rethink because she was getting stressed. She was moved back to working with other hard working pupils.

The teacher was well known for their poor control of the disruptive children. Her own child was one of the worst offenders as was painfully obvious at all school events.

CookieDoughKid Wed 24-Oct-18 11:49:09

My dd was in similar situation for all her primary years. It's not great but what can you do. It's state education and I can see why teachers do this. Which is why I have sought after a type of secondary education to prevent this from happening again. It's OK in primary years if your child is resilient but I firmly believe in selective education for bright children hence I've opted out.

Lndnmummy Wed 24-Oct-18 22:11:58

Find the description of “unruly” boys really unsympathetic. They might have sen or be very young for the year. Whatever the reason. I really hope that the lovely, nearly a year older very bright girl sitting next to my son does not have a mother as judgemental as this.

beela Wed 24-Oct-18 22:20:06

My dd is in the same situation.

On the one hand she is learning to be assertive and say 'no' when they are doing things she doesn't like, but on the other hand she was quite upset the other day because she was 'trying to sit beautifully' like the teacher had told her, and this boy wasn't letting her. They moved them round and she's ended up next to another boy who also wriggles and pokes her.

I'm not sure what the teacher is supposed to do though. It would be complete chaos if all the disruptive ones were sat together...

GemmeFatale Wed 24-Oct-18 23:06:46

If this is the case then schools seem to start really young in teaching girls their needs are less important, the bad behaviour of boys is something they should mitigate and to be good little undemanding helpful types.

TanginaBarrons Thu 25-Oct-18 03:07:16

So much labelling of 'naughty' children. And nearly always from mothers of girls about boys 🙄.

I really thought we had moved away from thinking that 4/5 year old that struggle to concentrate or even show behavioural challenges are naughty. Nice empathy role modelling there.

BinkyandBunty Thu 25-Oct-18 03:13:40

Obviously teachers don't want to sit disruptive kids next to each other or they'll egg each other on and cause even more disruption for the whole class.

That doesn't mean it's the 'good' child's job to keep disruptive children in line.

Lndnmummy Thu 25-Oct-18 07:13:19

Tangina I agree, there is something very entitled about it. How can my precious snowflake possibly sit next to that unruly child 🙄.
My lovely kind and bright ds I’m sure was branded unruly by some pompous parents in reception and year 1.
Now in Y2 he is the top reader of the class and outshines these girls by a mile. It’s his turn now to sit with children who struggles. I fully support it. It is about class room management.

dulcefarniente Thu 25-Oct-18 07:18:57

Tangina it's not the parents labelling these children (disruptive girls as well as boys)as naughty it's the other children and school aren't correcting them.

Soontobe60 Thu 25-Oct-18 07:23:03

It amazes me how many people believe that being chatty, moving about a lot and being sociable at 5 years old equates with being naughty. As a teacher, that's the kind of behaviours I would expect to see in Reception for good socialisation and effective learning😳
If I walked into a Reception class and the children told me that they sat at a particular table next to a particular child, I'd be horrified! Best practice in EYFS should encourage children to explore the environment and take charge of their own learning, with the staff working with small groups of them throughout the day, on the carpet, in the book corner, in outdoor provision.

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