PGL - daughter not wanting to go

(62 Posts)
madcatwoman197700 Fri 03-Aug-18 19:26:55

My daughter is not good at staying away from
Home and despite hoping she would improve ready for PGL in september, she really don't think she can manage it

Does anyone know if we'd get a refund? We e paid £350confused

OP’s posts: |
itbemay Fri 03-Aug-18 19:29:49

I doubt you’d get a refund as the school would have already paid, unless someone takes her place I’d say you’ll have to cut your losses.

DailyMailCanKissMyAss Fri 03-Aug-18 19:31:49


letsmakeacake Fri 03-Aug-18 19:32:40

Do you or the school have insurance? Might that cover it?

letsmakeacake Fri 03-Aug-18 19:34:10

Or maybe you could go and have a look at where they are going, or even test out some of the activities with her during the holiday so there are fewer things for her to be anxious about.

Neweternal Fri 03-Aug-18 19:41:22

Why don't you just make her go? Every kid gets anxious perhaps not feed it? Although I do appreciate she might have mental health concerns. Pgl is a wonderful experience!

Pixel99 Fri 03-Aug-18 19:43:26

I believe it is Parents Get Lost smile


Neweternal Fri 03-Aug-18 19:47:18

Or parents get laid! 😉

Hoppinggreen Fri 03-Aug-18 19:50:55

My son was reluctant to go. We persuaded/ bribed him to do it and although he got through it with no drama he really didn’t enjoy himself and even his teacher said he probably shouldn’t have gone.
Most kids do get into it when they get there and the teachers and staff are good at dealing with homesickness but there are some that are better off but going
DS ( about to go into year 4) says there no way he’s going to his year 6 residential and if he’s still determined not to when it’s payment time I won’t make him

animaniac Fri 03-Aug-18 19:53:25

No please don't make her go. My parents forced me and I still remember the bullying and crying every night.

Oblomov18 Fri 03-Aug-18 20:33:55

I think it's poor that year 5 or 6 children don't have the confidence to go. Worrying. That so many children can't go. Sign of the lack of confidence generally in children this age.
Cubs and scouts and brownies are good for this: encouraging a child to stay away comfortably overnight. On cub camp. But many of these over-anxious children wouldn't be the types to go to cubs or scouts. It's a shame.

madcatwoman197700 Fri 03-Aug-18 22:09:35

Thanks everyone.

It's odd because she's a very confident girl in so many ways, but she can't bear sleepovers (never has managed one) and likes her home comforts. She is adopted so perhaps it's an attachment thing. She doesn't like us being far from her side.

I won't force her to go and at the end of the day would rather lose £300 than her to be traumatised.
Our other daughter absolutely loved it last year and had the best time ever!

OP’s posts: |
madcatwoman197700 Fri 03-Aug-18 22:10:43

P.s hahahah to Parents Get Laid! We were sort of hoping that her being away for 4 nights would allow this to happen for us grin Not going to be so lucky lol

OP’s posts: |
mavydoes Fri 03-Aug-18 22:26:23

In 94 I went to PGL in Dalguise and bloody loved it!

Go karts, archery, rifles, kayaking, abseiling, white water rafting- nature walks and fencing etc.

I was 11 when I went and want to do it 24yrs later lol

Witchend Fri 03-Aug-18 23:18:10

Perhaps if you could find out what is actually bothering her.

Is it the staying away, or is it the activities planned or the unknown of who is in her dormitory?

Go karts, archery, rifles, kayaking, abseiling, white water rafting- nature walks and fencing etc.
Thing is that not all children enjoy the outside sporty things. For me I'd have enjoyed the archery and probably the rifles, and hated go karts kayaking, which water rafting. nature walks I did too many with my own parents to think as fun.

When my girls went there and we got a list of all activities and later ones that the children were doing, I remember thinking if I'd been given that list I wouldn't have wanted to go, because they were all chosen for the children who liked adventurous sports.

Imfinehowareyou Fri 03-Aug-18 23:19:51

I think they do family weekends at some centres. Any chance you could try that before she goes?

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 03-Aug-18 23:26:36

I wouldn't make her go. It's not fair on her and it's not fair on the other kids who may feel obligated to stay with her if she sits out.

You can ask but I do expect it's to late for a refund.

I'd perhaps start thinking about trying to build up the time she spends away in the hope that come secondary school she could fully participate.

Quadrangle Fri 03-Aug-18 23:28:04

It might be linked to her being adopted. She might be ready to stay away in her own time. Forcing it might make her more insecure. Could you offer to stay in a B&B nearby as a break with your dh and take her home if she doesn't like it?

Quadrangle Fri 03-Aug-18 23:28:15

After a day

Rebecca36 Fri 03-Aug-18 23:31:05

Don't make her go if she doesn't want to. It's something to be enjoyed, not endured.

FelicityFoxworth Sat 04-Aug-18 07:45:26

We can't answer whether you'll get a refund. Speak to the school. I'm sure they'll want to do what they can to help

I wouldn't force her either. My son enjoyed it back in June but I wouldn't have made him go if he didn't want to

llangennith Sat 04-Aug-18 08:08:42

I volunteer to run school library at local primary and most of the kids are very excitedly chatting about going on the Y6 week away, but every year there are a few, 3 or 4, who don't want to go.
Don't make her go.

Branleuse Sat 04-Aug-18 08:09:40

You wont get your money back at this stage. It was the risk you took when you knew she had never successfully managed a sleepover. The school have paid for her place. I would suggest to the school that if there was another child who couldnt afford to go maybe they can get in touch with them so the place isnt wasted.
My kids school was very clear that it was non refundable but i did think there was a lot of pressure to sign up but every year there are a handful of kids that dont go for whatever reason. If you know your kid wont cope with a sleepover then i think this week is not something you should force

madcatwoman197700 Sat 04-Aug-18 08:12:25

Branleuse - I really don't mind about the money, but of course I wondered if I would get any form of refund. It doesn't really matter

OP’s posts: |
greengoose21 Sat 04-Aug-18 08:23:07

I know it's a bit late in the day but PGL sent out an email yesterday with some really cheap last minute offers on their family activity breaks...which we've done twice in the past and are the "best holidays ever" according to my kids.

Is there any chance you could sneak in a mini break with her and a friend or sibling before the summer ends. Absolutely everything is included.,,food, it works out an incredibly cheap holiday and it would get her excited about going with school.

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