This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
DS(8) only naughty at school(7 Posts)
8 year old ds has always struggled at school but its just getting worse recently,
when hes there he is a completely different child to the one we see at home.
At home he is lovely, always well behaved and helpful, he will do his homework fine and he will sit and read nicely every evening. He does 5 different clubs out of school a week where he is also brilliant, we have only ever been told he works really hard, listens well and is achieving above what is expected.
But at school he is constantly in trouble, this year every single week he as either been sent out of the classroom or missed a playtime at least once not for anything awful just messing around and not listening. He also seems to underachieves in every area at school. I know he struggles with maths but with everything else at home he seems to be doing okay with for example his school written work compared to what he's written at home is completely different.
The school don't seem interested in doing anything more as hes not the naughtiest in the class and is not struggling the most so its up to me to sort it out at home but because I don't see any of this behaviour out of school I don't know how to do this.
I think hes built himself a reputation of being the naughty, not very clever child and doesn't know how or doesn't care to try and change that. I also don't think the schools punishments have any affect on him, he doesn't mind getting sent out or missing playtime as its become part of his weekly routine and i think sometimes when hes struggling with the work or bored in the classroom he purposely messes around because he knows the teacher will send him out which is what he wants.
Any advice to help him for next year?
Have you noticed any issues at home re coordination, reading etc. Could he have something undiagnosed which makes learning in that environment difficult?
Has he had any specifically negative events at school or is the whole thing just bad for him? Does he go in well?
What's the school like? Do they handle him well or is he a write off?
Perhaps look into switching schools?
Have you actually sat down and spoken to your son about his behaviour? He's at an age where he should at least be able to recognise he's acting differently.
Has he said if anything is upsetting him at school? Is there perhaps another child that's not a positive relationship for him? Has it just been this year? Perhaps an issue with the teacher?
If it's bothering you so much, I would be asking for some time with his teacher and having a chat about what they think the issue is. They are obviously there day to day and have a better insight to the problem.
No issues with coordination or reading at home so I don't think so.
Nothing really negatives ever happened, he goes in and comes back out fine, he definately doesnt hate it and given the exuse for the day off he will still chose to go in to see his friends.
The school is mostly good, no problems throughout with my Y6 dd. I dont think they think of him as a write off but hes just not the priority, the don't see him outside of school and just think where is is now is his current potential.
Switching him isnt an option this year, we have two kids starting infant school and one starting secondary in september and wouldnt be able to make the school run fit if he was anywhere else, homeschooling next year could possibly be an option but not a long term solution.
Does he like and respect his teacher? Was he badly behaved last year as well or is it just this year?
Just wondering, as with a new teacher, he might behave differently.
I have taught many children in the past who are supposedly badly behaved, but then they improve.
We've spoken about it but its always he didnt realise he wasnt suppost to be doing whatever he was doing wrong or he didnt think the teacher could see but he will make sure he listens and is good tomorrow which does work for 2-3 days untill he messes around again.
He's never upset by school, no problem with any kids in his class though he had a few problems with some of the Y5 and Y6 children earlier this year. He doesnt like his teacher very much and didnt last year either so maybe that will change and help for next year but all my kids have always said they don't like their teachers but they have always behaved for them
I have gone in so many times this year, nothing has improved and with only a few days left of this year theres not any point going back in but I will try and get in early next year to chat with his new teacher.
I'm hoping that might happen, I think new year and new teacher might help and hes definately worse this year than he was last year and dislikes this teacher more than last years. He loves all his teachers and coaches for his out of school clubs which might be the only reason he behaves for them.
But really for when he starts secondary school its not going to work if he only behaves for the teachers he likes.