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School Gate Mums

(61 Posts)
MrsSnootyPants2018 Thu 21-Jun-18 09:54:36

Omg!! What an experience!!

Yesterday was DD second taster session at primary school but my first time dropping off.

What is with the over dramatic performances?

So much happened in a short hour it's unreal!

1- other kids climbing up the school gate (fine up to them) I don't like DD doing that so asked her to get down.

2- teacher says "say bye to everyone and come in" DD says bye and walks off, I say bye and walk off to my car. On the phone by my car and when the other parents come over one asks "didn't you want to stay?" Well no, I said she's fine and I've got things to do.

3- get in my car and try to get out the car park when two mums chatting are blocking my turning signal. Saw me and I said what I was trying to do would you mind moving. "Well I think if you drive your car like this and do that you'll be okay". Eerrmmm okay then. I said that I'd be fine and be out quicker if I could just swing in that gap.

4- turn up again to pick DD. Same mums there say nothing. The min DD come out and is with me she says " oh I think we need to chat. I know you're not used to dropping off and picking up so"

I stopped her there. I said I'm not offended I'm just in rush. I'm just here to drop my dd off and pick her up again and walked off!

Is this sort of questioning and crap an everyday school gate thing? If so, how do you all cope?!

I don't get why anything that I was doing her business especially my driving. I think she aaa just annoyed she had to move her conversation. Also, why should I stick around and watch my child and cry? My dd is confident and didn't need me.

dupainduvin Thu 21-Jun-18 09:59:50

have you looked at the school guidance on pick and drops by car? I know it's a fraught area because of car congestion at that time of day.

It sounds as though they're BU, but I'm assuming you've checked you were following guidelines. Our school is always trying to encourage walking/scooting/biking/public transport.

MrsSnootyPants2018 Thu 21-Jun-18 10:02:34

They don't have parking so used a car park nearby. There were no restriction signs and one way in and out. That's why I don't get it!

dupainduvin Thu 21-Jun-18 10:06:45

and that's why you need to check with the school, even if you were using a car park nearby, just to be sure that you weren't doing anything they discourage. I'm presuming you have to drive op?

CheeseyToast Thu 21-Jun-18 10:11:30

I think you should maybe try a little harder to fit in than be so anti "school gate mums" in your first week. For your daughter's sake.

irvineoneohone Thu 21-Jun-18 10:13:18

So the school mums were chatting and blocking you in the car park nearby, not on school premises or nearby road? If so, it's not really a school gate problem.

dupainduvin Thu 21-Jun-18 10:13:25

yeah your Op does read as though you are looking for a scrap with other parents. A bit of inane chit chat never hurt anyone

irvineoneohone Thu 21-Jun-18 10:16:25

There are always nice people and not so nice people. Same at school gate. Being open minded about school gate may help you big time in the future.

CheeseyToast Thu 21-Jun-18 10:18:02

And tbh none of that is drama or crap or anything other than tedious, welcome to the real world. You do sound tiresome.

cricketmum84 Thu 21-Jun-18 10:21:40

I'm with you @MrsSnootyPants2018 I love that due to work I can only pick DD up one day a week so don't have to suffer this every day! School gate mums, cliques, PTA... I'm pretty sure I'm labelled as the misery mum lol but all I want to do is pick her up, have a chat about her day and go home! CBA with playground politics.

Sometimes I even pretend I'm on the phone whilst walking past the worst offenders 😂

irvineoneohone Thu 21-Jun-18 10:29:29

And without PTA, your children won't have any fun event or school won't have funds to top up their dire resources.....

Scrumptiousbears Thu 21-Jun-18 10:29:34

This will be me as DD starts reception in September. Dreading it.

MrsSnootyPants2018 Thu 21-Jun-18 10:30:24

Yeah I have to drive there. With that and getting to work it's just too tight otherwise.

MrsSnootyPants2018 Thu 21-Jun-18 10:31:21

@dupainduvin it's not that they were chatting. It's just where they were standing was blocking the carpark.

MrsSnootyPants2018 Thu 21-Jun-18 10:34:40

@irvineoneohone PTA is fine. Not my thing but I'd be the one to donate and go to an event if free.

Just didn't like being told what to do and judged for not sticking around. I thought it was a great opportunity to time how quickly I could get to work from the school.

I just don't see why there is an expectation to stand around and talk for half an hour blocking a car park.

MarthasGinYard Thu 21-Jun-18 10:35:39

<shudder at memory of it>

Dd current school is completely different.

Noqont Thu 21-Jun-18 10:36:07

Its nice to be nice. Its many years you'll have standing at the school gate.

dupainduvin Thu 21-Jun-18 10:37:42

still seems like a bit of an overreaction op, are you socially anxious? You may not want to chat, and be in the work zone, but some of those people are the parents of kids your DD will be friends with, and you'll have to interact on play-dates etc.

I don't know why a couple of mums holding you up for a fraction of time on a taster session is such a big deal really.

cricketmum84 Thu 21-Jun-18 10:41:44

@irvineoneohone yes totally appreciate that! Our PTA does some fantastic work and amazing fundraising. However I don't appreciate being given "the look" when I try to explain that with a full time job that usually includes extra work on an evening that's deadline related I can't commit to joining the PTA! It would be lovely to work part time and be able to dedicate myself to other more important things but that's the choice I made. I don't need vilifying for not being able to help out.

MrsSnootyPants2018 Thu 21-Jun-18 10:43:33

@dupainduvin no not social anxiety or anything. I think I just got my back up as I felt it's was a done thing until she came up to me when I had my DD with me and started lecturing me.

I just felt that was quite inappropriate.

I just hate doing chit chat like that. I hated baby groups and as for playdayes, my DH is the one who mainly does that and they all liked him last week so he can deal with that plus DD has many friends at dance school who spend a lot of time with.

irvineoneohone Thu 21-Jun-18 10:45:13

No one judges at our school gate. There are parents who hang around, there are some drop and run. I prefer drop and run. I am not member of PTA, but grateful and help when I can.
It's just sad to see your negative attitude towards fellow parents before your dc even started school.

dupainduvin Thu 21-Jun-18 10:48:32

well, i have a ft job that often involves evening work and I'm still on the PTA...but that's because I like doing it. It's just a question of priorities and of course we've got many parents working PT, SAHP etc that don't want to do PTA, - hardly compulsory.

dupainduvin Thu 21-Jun-18 10:52:26

yeah I agree irvine, i've never given anyone a look for not helping out - I'd hate anyone to feel obliged or do things out of guilt, I don't care about anyone's reasons for not doing things.

I'm not sure why you're posting about one bad interaction snooty, so your DH is going to do most of it and it doesn't bother him as much, that sounds good. Why are you worrying about it? Do you need our validation to say that mum is the spawn of satan?

Imstickingwiththisone Thu 21-Jun-18 11:00:15

You do sound like you've gone into this situation with the impression that it will be full of stuck up cliques op. They're just people going to collect their children like you are, you're really not that unique. That's not to say that there won't be some oddballs but thats just people in general right?
Reading what happened you've blown everything out of proportion, and the comment about you not being used to pick up sounds condescending but since you cut her off you won't know whether she was about to give some useful information or not. Enjoy future pick ups with this attitude that everyone is out to get you. And get used to seeing children climbing shock horror hmm

CheeseyToast Thu 21-Jun-18 11:04:47

Right so you hate baby groups and you hate playgroups and now you're reviving up to hate "school mums". Noticing a common denominator there?

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