Moving schools year 5 - help!

(11 Posts)
jobnockey Tue 05-Jun-18 14:47:03

Really hoping for some advice to potentially help us make a major decision. Currently living in London, DS is very settled at a large, diverse school with a very strong group of friends. He’s currently year 4.

I’ve potentially been offered a job ‘back home’ which is a smaller city, by the sea, closer to family etc. lots of positives about that. However, I am really worried about moving DS and how disruptive it would be for him. We’d be moving in time for him to start year 5 (hopefully we’d be able to apply over summer holidays and get a place – haven’t even looked into that part yet).

We don’t HAVE to move, me and DP both have stable jobs and live in a nice road, next to a park etc…we are not 100% sure if we want to leave London. However, it would give us more scope to potentially buy a house (never going to happen in london, slight possibility in new location) and at least the rent would be cheaper, it would be lovely to be near the sea. However, secondary schools are not as good and it’s definitely not as diverse a population…

DS is generally quite good at making friends but he is a sensitive soul and he had quite a few ups and downs whilst settling into school in years 1&2. I just imagine all the friendship groups being quite fixed by year 5 and him struggling to fit in… He’s going to be devastated at the thought of leaving his friends, and I worry about his progress at school and him being really unhappy – it’s breaking my heart to even think about it.

We just don’t know what the right thing to do is… whether to stick where we are and continue to pay huge rent and not really progress anywhere – but have access to good schools, or to take a risk and uproot us all?

Has anyone else moved their child’s school at this stage? Could do with some reassurance that we’re not going to scar him for life if we decide to go for it…

OP’s posts: |
RedSkyAtNight Tue 05-Jun-18 14:55:33

Year 5 is the year that the DC all decide that they hate their "best friend since Reception" and are grateful for new DC starting!

(at least that was the experience of my DD - although she wasn't the one changing schools, but did befriend the DC joining!).

Chocolatecake12 Tue 05-Jun-18 15:00:37

My ds moved schools in year 4 and made friends straight away despite being a shy child.
I think you need to focus on the future though - what’s more important? Getting a foot in the property ladder? Better secondary schools? Better area to live?
Don’t just focus on the next two years of your sons schooling.

Josuk Tue 05-Jun-18 16:28:52

Kids mostly adjust to moving and find new friends.
Adults - is a different question.
You need to be sure that the ‘idea’ of the new place and the reality match.

How about going there, and spending a weekend. Looking at potential areas where you’d like to live. Walking the neighbourhoods, imagining your spending time there.
I’d have spent the half-term week there as well, but it’s too late...

user1483972886 Tue 05-Jun-18 21:18:14

We moved DS1 half way through yr3 and he was settled within 2 weeks!

EduCated Wed 06-Jun-18 12:27:55

He’ll presumably be changing schools in two years anyway, and it’s much easier to move pre-secondary application.

LurksNoLonger Wed 06-Jun-18 22:11:04

We did just that - moved out to a small town near the sea (Folkestone in our case) with a yr 4, yr 5 and yr 6. Was extremely worried, especially as middle one is v sensitive, dislikes change and was adamant he didn’t want to go. Moved them from a large overseas prep to a small village school. The build up to the move was agonising, literally everything was going to change for them pretty much overnight and to say they were reluctant was an understatement...but it has worked out brilliantly. As PP said above, they seemed a bit of a novelty in the new school and have been inundated with invitations, settling really quickly. It’s scary but it can work! Good luck!


Wuss2018 Wed 06-Jun-18 22:22:18

We moved to the next city and have children in year 2 and year 4. Our children were fine to begin with were really good going into their new school. However a few weeks after they started my husband got a new job which meant they had tongi after school club which they never had to do before. This proved to be too much change for the year 4 and he acted like a boy possessed. Seriously we thought he had mental health issues at the time which he could have or was just reacting and playing up to too much change. It get so bad for a few months that when over Christmas holidays I got my old boy back- I went into work and changed my hours so I could pick them up from school. So I probably on this occasion gave into him but he had always been used to being with a parent after school so two huge changes.

He is now very well settlednadb is glad we moved. Schools are very good at fusing the new friendships. A few months after my son started another boy started and they clicked (weirdly people think they are brothers) so he made a proper friend himself.
I think sometimes you just got to do what's right for you and not over analyse. When I was young people always said don't move when the kids are at school.
But we live in a world now where people do move around so it's not a bad thing for children to experience.

BarbarianMum Thu 07-Jun-18 10:24:47

<<Year 5 is the year that the DC all decide that they hate their "best friend since Reception" and are grateful for new DC starting!>>

^^THis. I actually think Y5 is a good time to move, he'd have 2 years to make new friends before the great secondary shuffle. What I would do in your position though is look at the secondaries where you want to move, find one you like and work backwards from there - where would you have to live to get into it and can you fford to buy there.

Enko Thu 07-Jun-18 16:28:35

We moved when dd1 was in year 5 she struggled to begin with but soon settled and in secondary did not keep in contact with friends from original primary however did with those from new school

jobnockey Wed 20-Jun-18 10:53:38

Sorry to be late in getting back to this thread. Thanks all for your messages, it’s reassuring to hear from others who’ve survived this! I’ve been for the interview so we’ll see what happens next. I still feel uneasy about moving DS but I know he’ll survive ... the benefits of having our own house will hopefully outweigh the negatives of moving school...
Thanks again x

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