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Can I take ds out of school for the pm and if so how

(36 Posts)
whattodo56 Wed 25-Apr-18 11:40:10

Name changed for this as appreciate its controversial. Ds is in reception but over 5.

I have an important family event coming up which I want to attend but family is a 5 hour drive away. I would like to take ds out of school early to get to the event on the Friday night. If we leave after school we will probably miss the event or be very very late. I don't think school will approve if I request it as it's not really exceptional circumstances and I don't really want to lie or put ds in that position. I thought I could say he had an appointment but they will require evidence ...which I don't have.

What would you do?

FallenAngel89 Wed 25-Apr-18 11:45:19

Id just say dentist or something. My DD'S headteacher tried to actually ring the dentist for proof but they said they couldnt give any details as it's obviously safeguarding 😊

louise5754 Wed 25-Apr-18 11:45:26

I'd keep him off all day Friday saying he had a temperature. My kids have great attendance and have only been off when ill. However if I was in your position I'd def keep him home no matter what year he was in. Don't say he's going to the doctors. I think you only need a note if they're off 5+ plus days? My friend took her3 kids on holiday last week and has told school all 3 were in hospital. They now need doctors notes. Not sure what she was thinking lol

FallenAngel89 Wed 25-Apr-18 11:46:25

It was v.cheeky of the head might I add as she did have an appointment and she never has a day off! hmm

irvineoneohone Wed 25-Apr-18 11:51:20

Why don't you just tell the truth? It won't affect your ds, even if it's approved or not. I think it's far worse to lie, and your ds accidentally tell the truth and you feeling awkward.

RedSkyAtNight Wed 25-Apr-18 12:22:06

I'm always shocked on these threads how many people think lying is the way to go.

OP, you say you have an important family event and you will be taking DS out of school early. I doubt the school will care. If you take him out 1 minute after afternoon registration (so he's not even officially absent), the school will care even less.

Wolfiefan Wed 25-Apr-18 12:24:21

Don't lie. See if you can take him after afternoon registration.
Or take him at lunchtime.
But don't lie.

whattodo56 Wed 25-Apr-18 12:24:33

But I'm such a rules person I feel quite bad that I'm even contemplating it! And I know lots of people just take them out of school for holidays having put in requests and had them refused! they are happy to pay the fine... I don't think I could do that!

GlitterGlue Wed 25-Apr-18 12:27:34

If you take him out after registration then he still gets marked as attending that afternoon. Just tell the truth and take him out.

brilliotic Wed 25-Apr-18 12:28:28

What would I do? I would write a politely worded request for authorisation of absence, making it clear that you will be taking your child out either way.

I would write that in my view as a parent who puts my child's (educational, social, and emotional) best interests at the centre of my considerations, I have judged that the benefits of attending this event outweigh any potential negative effects from missing a Friday afternoon at school.
I would add that I appreciate that the head might have to, or choose to apply other criteria, and so may not be able or willing to authorise the absence; however I will be taking my child either way.

So in a way I would be politely informing them that I am taking my child out, rather than requesting permission, but at the same time giving them the option of authorising the absence if they wish to. If they know you will be going anyway, it is better for their statistics to have the absence authorised than unauthorised. If you give them some indication that this is an 'exceptional' occasion (rather than will become a regular thing) then if the head is well informed, they will apply their sense and judgement.

(I believe heads actually have quite some lee-way in what they judge to be exceptional circumstances, but many don't know this, or pretend not to know this, and think instead that there are rules such as 'funeral for close family member - ok; funeral for close family friend - not ok' when in fact there might be guidelines but no binding rules. As long as they can explain why this case is exceptional, they should be ok even if/when OFSTED comes in and looks at their attendance records. But I might be wrong about this and heads are more strictly bound than I thought.)

Wolfiefan Wed 25-Apr-18 12:28:30

I really and truly don't think you would be fined for a single afternoon.
Be honest.
If the event is important enough to miss a couple of hours of school then that's that.

MollyDaydream Wed 25-Apr-18 12:29:19

Ime so long as you take him out after afternoon registration the school won't care. Just inform them you need to collect him at 1.30 or whatever that day.

brilliotic Wed 25-Apr-18 12:30:04

Btw I haven't heard of anywhere that would fine for one missed session. Usually fines start after 10 (5 days) missed sessions, and sometimes only if those are on consecutive days.

MontyPants Wed 25-Apr-18 12:36:35

Can you just ask the school attendance officer for permission? I’m sure they won’t mind. Just tell the truth. In my experience the attendance officers are usually a lot more reasonable than the head!

tootsietoo Wed 25-Apr-18 12:38:45

We have done this a couple of times. We email and say that we will be taking the children out of school for the afternoon, and give the truthful reason. The head replies saying that he is unable to authorise the absence but that he hopes we have a lovely time. No fine.

Hoppinggreen Wed 25-Apr-18 12:40:14

Your Head probably won’t giver permission but doubt you will be fined
I wouldnt lie though

NoSquirrels Wed 25-Apr-18 12:46:03

As long as you don’t make a habit of it, and if you can wait until after registration for the pm session, and you inform school in advance, then no one will bother about it. For a 5 year old, I might keep them off all day, tbh.

reluctantbrit Wed 25-Apr-18 12:52:39

Do not lie. The teacher may ask on Monday about the dentist/being ill and your DS will happily talk about the party/long boring drive etc.

Our head normally recommends to wait until after afternoon registration, so on paper your child is still there while you whisk him away 5 minutes into the session. In our school that would be 1.30pm.

irvineoneohone Wed 25-Apr-18 12:53:33

I am very rigid, and as you say, rules person. That's why no way I would lie. That's totally against my nature.

FrangipaniBlue Wed 25-Apr-18 12:57:49

I would tell school that we had a family event that was 5hrs away and therefore I would be collecting DS at time X.

unintentionalthreadkiller Wed 25-Apr-18 13:01:24

Tell them he won't be there - up to them if they authorise it or not. I took DTs out in Y1 for a day for a family wedding. The head never even responded but I assume it was unauthorised as they didnt get their attendance certificate that term!

llangennith Wed 25-Apr-18 13:12:41

Nobody’s world will come to an end if you lie. Dental or doctor or hospital appt will do. But don’t tell your DD it’s a lie! Pick her up lunchtime and then tell her you’ve cancelled the appt.
Or just keep her off school all day.

viques Wed 25-Apr-18 13:25:08

Friday afternoon? no problem, just pick him up after they have had afternoon registration, then the school don't have an absence and you still have time to beat the traffic. no one will turn a hair.

viques Wed 25-Apr-18 13:27:27

Ps don't lie, just mention to classroom teacher in the morning that they will be picked up in the pm , after registration. You could say why but I doubt they will care much.

MrsHathaway Wed 25-Apr-18 13:32:27

When we took DC out of school early for a family wedding, it didn't count as an absence as they had been present for the morning and afternoon registers. We left immediately after the afternoon register...

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