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1Sept kid with HLP how possible is start a year ahead

(71 Posts)
Mayita Thu 19-Apr-18 14:02:43

My son is a lot more mature for his age and I am being in someway "home schooling" him as he has not been accepted for reception last year.

I put him on preschool but this has impacted him to his normal emotional development a lot more of what I was expecting. he was growing nice and healthier but I am now seeing traits that are causing me real concerns. he is already clearly more mature for kids of his own age (he is 4) and it is not only not having the chance to be kids older than her, but because he's been born on 1 sept he is instead hold with little kids as young and 3 a lot more little than her in every single aspect.

I am determined in doing whatever it takes for my son's health. I wonder of someone has any experience on this or have any advice.
if someone knows that this was possible for some kids.

He at least needs to be with kids of his age. and instead of starting
Reception, he needs to be on year 1.

I know that local autorities are very strict in this aspect, but the school admissions code states to have this considerations. I thought about the law and children rights too and the considerations on the child as individual. it seems SEN or inclusion policies of school does not help. so I am not sure how to approach and ask for a place to my local autority with which evidence. educational psycologists how? we have no resources to pay private either.. he is already having behavioural issues but this is because his experience in preschool

My child needs at least to be with kids of his age. he is very advanced emotionally speaking very mature and understanding, very kind and quick in understanding new learning, he only wants to make friends, needs to talk to people do things in a group. he feels isolated, and many times unhappy, he is so strong and understanding that he is trying to overcome this himself. he see himself different to the other that re considerable younger.

Many Thanks!

OP’s posts: |
MollyDaydream Thu 19-Apr-18 14:05:43

Your child will start reception with children their age - they will all be 4, turning 5. They are just as much the same age as children in the year above.

PotteringAlong Thu 19-Apr-18 14:09:15

He will be with children his own age; he won’t be the only one with a september / October birthday.

What you mean is that you want him to be with children a year older than him, not a year younger, because he’s more advanced than his year group. That’s not the same thing.

PotteringAlong Thu 19-Apr-18 14:09:51

My middle child was born the first week in September. He was just fine.

unlurk85 Thu 19-Apr-18 14:09:57

Gosh I could have written this post myself last night. We just had parents evening at my 4yo September baby's pre school, and have been told he's streets ahead academically, but struggling to get the younger children to understand his complex games and therefore getting frustrated and inevitably behaving badly. No advice sorry, I'm interested in seeing your responses.

Tomorrowillbeachicken Thu 19-Apr-18 14:57:45

It’s not possible to go in year above. Ds (yr 1) went up to year above for a time for some subjects and now is back in his class. He is bored and fed up and I’m pretty fed up too.

Snowysky20009 Thu 19-Apr-18 18:02:23

Your ds will not be able to enter a year above, assuming you are in the U.K. He will start with children the same age as him.

Quartz2208 Thu 19-Apr-18 18:06:59

intellectually mature and emotionally mature are not the same thing - and to be honest do not tend to go hand in hand with each other.

I think you are assuming starting school with children older will solve the issues - I am not sure they will

As an aside you will find the issues that you are finding will disappear by Year 3 - whereas the ages were very noticeable at reception and you could easily tell who was born where now you cant.

sirfredfredgeorge Thu 19-Apr-18 19:33:02

I think the first thing is probably to stop "home schooling" him, whilst he may love to learn stuff, that's because he's a kid and they all do, just focus on him learning stuff that is not on the curriculum. The KS1 curriculum is full ot repetition to get atomicity, there is no advantage in being ahead.

Teach him to juggle, teach him chess, teach him to recite poetry, or french, increase his vocabulary - teach him all sorts of great stuff that will make school easier, but don't teach him the things he'll be endlessly practicing anyway once he's in school - even more so in year 1 than in reception.

On the age, making him the youngest in the year and the attendent disadvantages (risk of being the class baby, lack of confidence from being weaker) and even more so when he's older (smallest for sports, last of the peer group to hit puberty, drive, drink) to address what is a very short term problem with peers doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

I think you need to look more at the traits you're seeing, and start creating stories, explanations and strategies to help him deal with it, the ranges of interests and maturity in kids even in year 2 are significant, and he will need to learn strategies for playing with them.

Witchend Thu 19-Apr-18 19:38:08

I had a DD similar. Her best friends were 2years older and she played best with older children.

It's only looking back that I can see that was not a sign of social maturity, actually the opposite.
Because the older children made allowances for her and were able to fit round her because they were older and more mature.

Putting her up a school year would have been dreadful socially. Academically she'd have been fine. But socially she would not.

Strax Thu 19-Apr-18 19:44:55

Yeah, I have an early-Sept very academically able child too and honestly we've ummed and ahhed about doing this (at a private school) but you've got to look way ahead in the future years - how would it be by the time they are doing GCSEs, learning to drive (way behind everyone else), going to university?
My DD has struggled socially this year (she's in year 2) because she's very much more mature than the other children and finds it frustrating at times. It's tough, but it'd also be tough to be in the year above with the associated issues that would bring.

Charmatt Thu 19-Apr-18 20:39:02

Educating a child outside their normal age group (as it is termed), normally requires an assessment by an Ed Psych unless they are a summer born child deferring entry to education.

The Ed Psych would have to be an L.A. approved Ed Psych, but even then you would have to find a school willing to admit your child. I don't know of any that have or would want to. Then when your child reaches Yr6 you have to apply again to move them up out or normal age group and again, get a secondary school to agree.
Again, I don't know any that would want to.

PatriciaHolm Thu 19-Apr-18 20:49:15

You have the right under the admissions code to request your child is educated out of year.

However, in practical terms, younger children are very very rarely accelerated. It's unlikely they will be the only bright/advanced child in their year, and any good school will be able to differentiate their learning.

The decision to accelerate would be made by the admissions authority for the school in concert with the Head.

brilliotic Thu 19-Apr-18 21:20:50

My fairly able and mature DS has a late August birthday, just on the other side of the cut-off, so is basically doing what you are envisioning - going through school in a cohort of children up to a year older than him, rather than with children up to a year younger than him.

Academically it is ok, though not really a solution to his 'learning potential' - school still struggles to challenge him, has at times sent him to work in the year above (so with children up to two years older than him), he finds nearly all work easy and has developed a fairly lazy attitude (he doesn't need to make any effort to achieve).
In contrast, perhaps if he were in the year below, his abilities would be far enough away from the average and even from the 'top table' that he would get some individual attention. But then again, the standard lessons would be even less interesting. So I am not sure what would be better for him, academically.

Socially, I have often wished he could be in the year below.

Also, I feel that starting school at just 4 (compared to just 5) robs you of a year of childhood. You have to do everything a year earlier. It's things like 'having to learn what is taught' rather than following your own interests. Having to sit exams. Having to deal with exam pressure. Having to fit in and adjust to a group of 30 children. Having the largest part of your waking time externally structured. And later, having to set 11+ at a few weeks past your 10th birthday (and accordingly, having to prepare for 11+ at age 9 rather than at age 10). Having to choose GCSE modules/A-levels/university subject a year younger.. maybe a year later, your interests would be different.

So on balance, I would prefer for my academically able DS to be in the year below, if there was any choice. Accordingly, I would not advise you to pursue your idea of skipping a year.

Mayita Fri 20-Apr-18 07:55:45

Thanks a lot for your comments. I called yesterday to an school that has said that it would be the local authority decision, but still do not understand whether is the school then have to agree with or not or I need to go on asking the schools whether they will accept or not. I imagine the hardest and determinant taks will be to convince the Local Authority but with which evidence?
the HTeacher of that school said, it would be up to them but I know they would not. ;/
Unfortunately my DS has grown more than he should, so is also taller for his age and to the average.

it took me long time to be aboserving to decide myself on this path. as a mother as just know and I am sure, always as a mother, what it is happening with him. his personality is not that of an oldest kid. he has a personality of continuing learning by following and being part of group that he feels support and can provide support to.

I would like that mental and emotional health were of a great importance of the childs in school. I do not want himt o the brightest but just happy and knowledgeable as the kids of his age. he would never appear to be the youngest.

xx

OP’s posts: |
Ionacat Fri 20-Apr-18 08:05:07

My DD is exceptionally able and has stretched herself up until now, however she is now complaining of being bored in year 2 especially in Maths. But socially she is in the right place, she is more mature than most of the others in her class, however there are also moments especially at home that remind me that she is only 7. We don’t do extra school work at home, except she often choses to read around and research further whatever topic she is doing at school and often writes up the information to take into class, which her teacher encourages her to do if she wants to. And answer her endless questions...... (If she keeps this up, it will stand her in very good stead later on.) She is also teaching herself German, learning the piano, does Science experiments, as well as her dancing all out of choice. Also, I’m well aware that although she is exceptionally able at the moment compared to her cohort, this doesn’t always maintain through primary and secondary in the same way as other pupils are late bloomers.

catinapoolofsunshine Fri 20-Apr-18 08:09:38

Montessori schools have mixed age classes on principle. There should be a 3 year age range in every class, it's part of the learning model.

Do you have any Montessori schools nearby and could you afford to pay for them? If so that may well be your answer.

Quartz2208 Fri 20-Apr-18 08:10:21

I think you are focusing on this as solving all your issues - it wont (and I would be very very surprised if you get anywhere with it especially now).

I am confused though as to exactly why you think this is needed though, DS was exactly the same (Oct though) but has coped v well with starting school correctly (and indeed better than he would have done the year before)

Ionacat Fri 20-Apr-18 08:13:34

Sorry crossed posts, when the LEA will decide, they will look at the long term view, is it better for this pupil to be out of year for their entire schooling - 13 years, which while there seem to be big differences in maturity in early primary, there are not nearly so many differences in late primary and secondary as it evens out.
I’ve been teaching 17 years and have only ever come across one pupil who was taught out of year and was in the year above and this is in large schools and across several LEAs, it is very very rare. (Even most of those on Child Genius seemed to be in the correct year group from memory to give you an idea.)

NoTNoShade Fri 20-Apr-18 08:21:16

I would stop worrying about this as he hasn’t even started yet. You don’t know that reception is the wrong place for him as he’s not there and you don’t know what his cohort is like as they aren’t there either.

Often, young dc do play better with older dc as the older children have learn to compromise and to share.

catinapoolofsunshine Fri 20-Apr-18 08:23:00

Oldest in the year children very often do better btw (not always but often) and have the chance to become "natural" leaders. Being tall tends not to disadvantage boys if they are sporty (my dc2 is the second tallest and fifth oldest in his year and it seems to work very much in his favour despite the fact he's 39cm taller than one of his good friends, who is the shortest boy in the class!) It can cause awkwardness for boys who are uncomfortable in their own body unfortunately though - the only boy taller than him in the class (only by a couple of cm) is very self conscious about his height and walks slouched with his head down, so he looks shorter than DS - somehow his experience seems different. Whether him being tall for his year is an advantage or disadvantage is a lottery in that way, but for boys it's certainly sometimes a positive.

catinapoolofsunshine Fri 20-Apr-18 08:31:59

Actually preferring to play with older children is often a sign of immature social skills.

Older children make allowances for younger ones. Younger children don't make allowances for peers.

A friend of mine thought her DD was socially advanced because she liked to play with children several years older and was frustrated by her peers. Anyone without parental rose tinted glasses could see that it was because she wanted to impose her own rules on her peers and be very firmly in charge, all of the time. She utterly ruined games by tantruming when her peers wouldn't play the way she told them to, and when she wasn't the clear boss/ in the main role/ winning. She accepted direction from much older children more, and also they indulged her more because she was little. Neither group wanted to play with her for long though because she was demanding and changed the dynamic in any group. She was very bright academically, that part was true and I think clouded her parents view and meant they couldn't see that her preference for older children and inability to play with peers was a sign of social and emotional immaturity, not of being ahead in that area.

pinkdelight Fri 20-Apr-18 10:34:01

It's very early days. Kids mature at different rates and by the end of KS1 it'll be hard to tell who's the youngest or eldest in the year. Your son may have plateaued and been overtaken and then you'd be very glad you didn't put him a year ahead. The teacher will differentiate for ability anyway and be able to teach to his level, and friendships will develop regardless of age. After all, some smaller schools have mixed year groups and the kids cope with younger and older classmates. Can you try to go with the flow and see what happens? He's still very young, however mature he seems to you (and DC are very different at home, it's worth saying), and is still learning how to build relationships, so putting him into a Y1 class where friendships may be formed already probably won't be helpful. In any case, I don't think it's a matter that would effect his health.

Mamabear12 Fri 20-Apr-18 10:39:17

Send him to a French school, as they go by calendar year and then he will be put in the year ahead ;)

Other then that, I am not quite sure. The other kids will catch up eventually. Make play dates with him and the other Sept/Oct born children.

User10383727282 Fri 20-Apr-18 10:50:25

My DD was the same but she's now in year 4 and for so many reasons it has worked out to her advantage that she was kept in her correct year. Leave him where he is.

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