How often is your child rewarded/celebrated?

(15 Posts)
tomhazard Fri 16-Mar-18 12:41:28

My DD is in reception at a supposedly outstanding state infants school. She has a good time there, and although there are a number of things I'm not happy with, she seems okay there.

Anyway, I was chatting to a friend with a DC at a different school and he was saying her DD (same age) is regularly rewarded with a badge to bring home which celebrates her good reading/writing/kindness/whatever. She has had this around 5 times in the 6 months she's been at school and my friend says other children are regularly rewarded too. She also has had certificates of a similar nature which has boosted her confidence.

My DD had a postcard home in October to say she had been kind to another child and helped them with their reading which was lovely, but this is the only thing we've had since September.

At the two parents evenings we've had DD has been described as able, bright, kind, well-behaved with above average reading and writing so it's not like she's not doing well but she hasn't had any celebration of this which I think would be nice.

So I guess I'm asking - are you children celebrated for their acheivements/behaviours? Is this the norm in infant/primary school. I am a secondary teacher and send home postcards often for DC in year 7 and 8 and they are much older so I'd have thought it was normal but I could be wrong!

OP’s posts: |
brilliotic Fri 16-Mar-18 15:45:14

In reception, DS would get occasional stickers for good reading or for trying something new at lunchtime.

Since Y1 there has been a 'star of the week' type of thing, and a termly award as well. DS got a termly award but never 'star of the week' in Y1. In Y2 he got 'star of the week' right at the end of the school year. Nothing yet in Y3.

I don't like awards like this very much and make it clear to DS that we behave appropriately and work hard because it is the right thing to do, and is a reward in itself; definitely not in order to earn any kind of award from school. And accordingly it does not matter if he misses out on any school awards, as long as his behaviour is good and he continues to learn - the benefits he reaps from this will last him a long time, whereas medals and certificates will be long forgotten.

EleanorRobinson Fri 16-Mar-18 15:54:34

Some schools seem to do this more than others. It was a sore point in our household - I always felt DD2 was overlooked: clever and hardworking but quiet as a mouse and good as gold - she didn’t seem to get as much recognition as her similarly clever but much more confident little friend.

BrendansDanceShoes Fri 16-Mar-18 17:20:36

Agree with*brilliotic*. Such a splendid sentiment. Why should you get a reward for behaving appropriately and working hard? That is what is expected at school. I've found that many reward schemes mean that little Johnny who had been a right little *%!@ since September gets an award if he has a good few days, but then those that always behave well get no recognition. Explain to a 6 year old please - "Johnny got star of the week because he didnt hit anyone this week" "But I haven't hit anyone at all Mummy?" I also agree that those who are quieter, try hard all the time, but are not the class academic superstar also get overlooked. This leads to resentment and disengagement with the whole reward thing. You'll find that every kid in a KS1 class will make it to star of the week at some point in the year, sometimes for some quite creative reasons! My DS had star charts in KS2, where the kids had to transfer stars for good work in books to a star chart. He stopped doing this for the last two years. Other kids cheated and recorded stars they hadn't earnt. But more critically the kids at either end of the academic ability scale got proportionately more stars. Understandable for smart kids, ok, but when used as an incentive for the weaker kids, this was disengaging for the middle kids. OP, please don't get hung up about it. There are better things to worry about with your child's progress than counting it in terms of stars and stickers. Stickers usually end up in the washing machine anyway! Sorry for the long post, but having seen my DS upset and disengaged with the whole system, you can tell I am just a bit cynical about it all!

washthoseclothes Fri 16-Mar-18 17:42:34

My child in reception gets lots of stickers reward cards and the like.

They do kindness, values each week, reading, writing and you can do the maths scheme online for certificates.

They also have a thing where if you do excellent work at school you get to show the Head and get another sticker.

From what I can tell they reward good to excellent behaviour.

I think it is really good.

It definitely motivates my little boy.

He loves getting rewards but then he doesn't seem to mind when he doesn't get them either.

Also if someone has done something special outside of school then you can let the teachers know and they will talk about this in assembly.

Really fantastic teachers who always give very specific reasons for the rewards.

Yura Fri 16-Mar-18 20:13:28

My friends daughter (different school) also gets loads of reward (tidying, being kind, acting,,...). My son’s school gives them out a lot more rarely (so far one for being brave after splitting his lip and bruising his nose when another boy accidentally ran into him, and one for really hard extra work writing). Both are equally happy, so no issue

tomhazard Fri 16-Mar-18 20:16:38

Yeah I guess they don't know any different if it's not the style of the school!

I think just stickers or badges or something (given out liberally to all children!) are really nice. Children love it, even older children so I guess it's something I would like to see but can see that perhaps it's not the norm in all schools.

OP’s posts: |


neversleepagain Fri 16-Mar-18 20:22:34

My twins are in different classes in reception. They get stickers a couple times a week, children who do well during the week are mentioned in the weekly newsletter. If they do well for a period of time they are awarded a certificate in assembly and get to add a jewel to the schools learning tree.

PandaPieForTea Fri 16-Mar-18 20:34:12

My DD’s school has various recognition systems, but how they are used seems to depend on the teacher a bit. DD was regularly rewarded in reception, mostly for good tidying up. Her year 1 teacher seemed to adore her and she probably got a disproportionate level of recognition. Her year 2 teacher doesn’t do nearly as much giving out stars etc, which initially seemed odd, but she’s now used to and it’s probably good that virtue is its own reward.

It’s quite interesting how parents respond to the in school reward systems too. I have a friend who seems to record everything from school and reward that with buying toys. She also punished at home for any school sanctions. That’s really different to my approach - I think what happens in school stays in school.

Waterlemon Fri 16-Mar-18 20:41:53

There is a lot of debate surrounding extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. And lots of schools are moving away from extrinsic rewards, or being more selective when giving such rewards. Maybe your dc is in a school that follows this school of thought.

This article weighs up both sides...

And I’m a big fan of teacher Tom...

Tomorrowillbeachicken Fri 16-Mar-18 20:59:24

Ds is in year one and rarely gets stickers. My friends daughters get them several times a week and I think ds is resigned to not getting them.
He’s well behaved but quiet and not really forthcoming at school and because the work isn’t challenging he can coast and times. On the flip side he also has Sen and when he tries hard in the areas this affects he doesn’t get stickers either so can’t really win.

Worst point though was that last year, in reception, he pointed out that he would be better off being naughty as he’d get more stickers. (I then pointed out I’d be less than pleased if he did that)

I’m not a huge fan of this all tbh. It won’t make a huge difference in long term and means nothing in long run but still upsets me that at times he’s almost forgotten.

sallythesheep73 Fri 16-Mar-18 21:33:33

I find the whole star of the week thing a bit of an abomination. DS1 was quick to identify that everyone got it and the naughty kids got it for being good whilst the rest of them were always being good. I found it hard to argue with this logic...

Witchend Fri 16-Mar-18 23:28:16

naughty kids got it for being good whilst the rest of them were always being good

Dd2's comment (in reception) was that you got it for what you were bad at, not what you were good at.

Ds' juniors I think does it on a fairly rigid rotation basis. I suspect the first rotation is surname alphabetically and second is either birthdate or firstname alphabetically. At any rate in 4 years he's got it almost the same week (2x a year) each time. That seems particularly pointless to me.

Lisaquin01 Sat 17-Mar-18 15:25:08

my daughter is in yr 2..

they have a team points system for good work and extra special good work can result in getting the headteacher awards.. DD has got this once in yr 2

there is also a star of the week each week and DD has had this twice

Cheerfullygo4 Sat 17-Mar-18 21:39:25

My son is in P6 and has never received any of the three monthly awards given out by the school in the whole time he has been there. In the infants he occasionally got a sticker from the teacher. He is generally kind, hard working but not a people pleaser. Similar to other posters, the children who are badly behaved get all the rewards for managing to control themselves for a while. He is totally demotivated and can’t wait to leave for High school in a year and a half. Awful system.

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