Mum fell sick on school run

[Olivia93]

Hi all im asking for my cousin whos been sick with cold and flu and fever faint at her children school this morning because her temperature was high and she had no one to take them to school and no family around. The school was very helpful , ambulance was called took her to the hospital and discharge . She worrying that school will thinks she a bad mother and because she has no family around , they will involved social service and take her 2 kids away. I told her not to worry , everything will be fine . Please ladies help my cousin to feel secure that shes not a bad mum at all

[italiancortado]

She fainted at school, they called an ambulance? I'm not sure why that makes her a bad mum

[viques]

I think most teachers would admire your cousins determination to get her kids into school! I hope she is feeling better .

[upsideup]

Why would being ill make you a bad mum?
My DS was sick and fainted at school a few weeks ago, it doesnt make him a bad kid. It's not your fault if you get ill

[JuliaSevern]

Why does she think they will think she's a bad mother?

[Olivia93]

The right words is pass out for few mins like she lost conscious sorry if that wasnt clear ... thank you everyone i will let her see all your messages to make her feel better . I told her theres nothing wrong being a single mother with no help but atleast she tried to keep her kids at school always on time and shouldnt worry

[cestlavielife]

If she had to stay in hospital and there was no one else then ss can arrange emergency foster care . Temporarily.
That won't make her a bad mother either.
But she does need a back up plan if there is no one. Eg friend neighbour childminder .Maybe you can be the back up ?

[Olivia93]

We not in the same city thats why but our plan is for her to moved near me this july so we can help each other .

[custardismyhamster]

So your cousin felt absolutely shockingly poorly and still prioritised getting her children to school because their learning is THAT important to her? I’ve worked in a school, they’ll just be worried in case she’s feeling crappy and needs some support, and thinking she’s ace for getting the kids in

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

She's been discharged? Why would Social Services get involved?

[Olivia93]

Because she have no family or help around ... she is alone with her 2 kids

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

Lots of people have no support network, unfortunately there are no agencies who will show up when they're sick to take the pressure off.
How is she feeling now?

[lightoflaluna]

Yep, she pulled herself round enough to get them to school because she prioritises her children above all else. This is good parenting and not concerning at all.

They may ask her if she needs some support but it wouldn't be a reflection on her parenting.

[NC4Now]

Oh god, I had that flu at Christmas. Feinted getting ready for work, and went to bed for a week. Your cousin is an amazing mum getting her kids to school when she was that poorly.
School will think she puts her kids first. That’s a good thing.

[lightoflaluna]

By 'they' i mean school, not SS.

[Olivia93]

She told me she feel sick getting pain when coughing and her temperature is high but not above 39 so shes still not feeling good , i told her if shes still feel like this in the morning , she should not take them to school to go back to the hospital or she can get a train to here so i can look after her for sometime till she get back on her feets. I really wish she was staying near here. Thank you all for the lovely comments

[Cavender]

Not having family or friends to help isn’t a sign of a bad parent!

I’m sure she isn’t the only parent at the school in that position- some of the teachers might be too.


I hope she feels better soon.

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

Can she ask another parent to take them and drop them home for a few days? School may help with organising something.

[Qvar]

I was alone with my kids, and was for years.

I had to keep them off school once because I was unable to move as far as the front door.

Not going to lie, I was terrified they would send a social worker ... but they didn't. you have to be deliberately or long term neglecting your children for social workers to get involved, or even for the school to notice. Fainting at school because she tried to get them in isn't neglect. It's illness, and the two are not the same.

And a week of ready meals, takeaways and toast for dinner won't do them any harm. In fact, it might be wise to put them on hot school dinners until she feels better, so they can just have a sandwich and fruit for tea, which school aged kids can make themselves.

Poor, poor woman, I remember it so clearly, it was so hard but nobody is judging her.

[Kokeshi123]

Poor cousin!

Of course SS would not think she was neglectful. She sounds like she is a good mother who is under pressure and has a tendency to overthink things and worry a lot...? I am a bit like that too, so I understand what it is like.

It sounds like she could do with some support in terms of building up her confidence.

[quantiestillecanisinfenestra]

Bless her, of course they won't think she's a bad mum. Growing up in a single parent family I remember feeling the need to put a front on at all times, but as PPs have said, getting her kids to school when she's so unwell speaks volumes about how she's prioritizing their needs.

[GetOutOfMYGarden]

SS will have been called so they can ensure a place of safety for the children while mum is in hospital.

Not having friends or family around isn't a crime.

[threeelephants]

OP, I'm a teacher. If this happened at our school, we'd be full of admiration for her getting them to school.
If we could offer any help via our family support worker we would. Thus would not be a judgement on her parenting, and would in no way mean we thought she was unfit to parent her children.
Things we've done for mother's in similar situations: waived after-school club fees/breakfast club fees so the mother could use it to give herself a break; a local TA has walked children to and from school when mum was housebound for a few days; provided snacks/free school dinners (outside of the usual criteria) when parents we're caring for other family members and struggling to cook each day. During a traumatic bereavement for one family, the head himself dropped the children home each day for a few days.
A school is a community, they will rally round, not judge her.

[gillybeanz]

I would be surprised if word didn't get round the playground and a group of parents come forward to help.
I know my dc schools would have done, I'd have volunteered as was a sahm.
Some people will be happy to help, I hope they come forward for your cousin.
When we state "It takes a village to raise a child" it means being prepared to do your bit, even if just in an emergency.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

I think most teachers would admire your cousins determination to get her kids into school!

This.

Every school will have had kids that habitually turn up late (if at all) because parents have got hangovers or just cant be arsed. She got them there no matter the cost to herself, she will be admired and supported not judged at all.

[GrockleBocs]

Social Services were the back up provision in case your relative was too poorly to come out of hospital. That's all. They could have arranged emergency care if there was nobody to collect the children at the end of the day.