Inappropriate teacher comment

[swilkinson]

Hi there,

Wanted to make sure i’m not making a big deal out of something and also get some advice.

My daughter is in yr2 and has a new teacher. Her last teacher was absolutely brilliant so her new one would always have big shoes to fill.

All seemed ok, my daughter seems to have taken to her well. It’s been hard to form an opinion myself as I work Mon-Thurs so only see her on Fridays. She seems nice though it’s a shame that she doesn’t seem bothered about saying hi/ getting to know parents at all. Perhaps a bit shy however.

Anyway, my whole point to this is that another school Mum told me that the teacher told the children to be quiet and that if they weren’t her husband wouldn’t be happy????

I asked my daughter without putting words in her mouth and she confirmed it.

Anyone else find this a very strange/ inappropriate way to manage a class of6yr olds. Or any age?
I plan on speaking to her and the Head teacher but worried my point won’t be taken seriously. It feels like a really threatening comment and infers to me that she doesn’t have control over the class.

In addition to complaining, I would like to know her background (where she has taught previously) as wonder if she’s ready to handle a class on her own. Do you think they’ll give me this info?

Thanks in advance xxx

[Greensleeves]

It does seem like an odd thing to say

I would probably have a quiet word with her along the lines of "dd said something that confused me a bit, could you clarify?" and see what she says. Don't go to the Head in the first instance.

[FlibbertyGiblets]

Oh gawd please don't complain. A mum said a child said, you asked your daughter, she said she said. Just no.

Wrt prev employer of the class teacher, ask; no idea if you'll be given any info.

[DarkPeakScouter]

Husband comment is a bit odd but might have been in a jokey context. Your board of Governors will have reviewed her previous employment and decided she’s suitable for the job so good luck pushing for her past employment details.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Maybe her husband is the Head!

[Weebo]

Honestly? If I found out DS's teacher made a comment like this I would think 'How odd' then never think about it again.

At most I would try to figure out the context. Perhaps her husband is a policeman or similar and she was joking with her class?

If you are truly concerned about this teacher I suggest you choose your battles and not go rushing to complain.

[MidnightVelvetthe7th]

You're going to the head & demanding to know the teacher's experience, all from playground gossip & the word of a 6 year old?

It has more than likely been misconstrued, if you're concerned then go & speak with the teacher to clarify the comment but I certainly wouldn't go to the head.....

[PotteringAlong]

though it’s a shame that she doesn’t seem bothered about saying hi/ getting to know parents at all. Perhaps a bit shy however

You know she’s not your friend, right? It’s a Friday. She’s not shy, she wants the week to be over ASAP!

[gatorgolf]

God I wish this was the only thing I had to be concerned about with school

[swilkinson]

Ok everyone, thanks for your advice.

[RaspberryIce]

You could ask her but I'm not sure why you'd involve the Head before you've even asked for clarification.

[Inthishouse]

If this flimsy story is all you have to complain about, you have waaaaay too much time on your hands

[viques]

Presumably this teacher started at the beginning of this term, I imagine that her priorities are getting to know the learning needs and personalities of the children in the class, other children in the school, her TA, the school timetable, her colleagues, the curriculum, her class resources, her curriculum or managerial responsibilities if she has them ......

I think making friends with parents on cold wet wintery home times is probably pretty low down on her to do list.

[swilkinson]

Ok everyone, I feel like these comments are getting a bit mean. I was just asking for some advice.
I wish I had too much time on my hands!
I trust what my daughter says and do find it odd that a teacher would say this.
Will take your advise and not go to the head.
Unless you have any advise on my OP i’d rather not hear your opinions on my personality.

Thanks.

[WunWun]

Could it have been that her husband is a teacher (maybe not there) and she said something along the lines of 'my husband wouldn't put up with this from his class'?

[CandODad]

If you were told the background of the teacher how would this help you?

[bottlegreen]

I'm not sure why you think this comment constitues a) Reason for concern/complaint or b) Reason for you to enquire as to the teacher’s previous experience. There is no information in your OP that states your child was upset or distressed in any way by the comment. Unfortunately, it seems you may be too interested in this teacher for the wrong reasons.

[swilkinson]

Her previous teacher had taught different age groups which seemed to make her a more rounded, firm but fair teacher.
My DD’s class is a bit rough and I wondered if this was her first teaching job.
But, point taken, it wouldn’t help knowing that.

[RavenWings]

Her background is absolutely none of your business, the school have hired her and will have reviewed her credentials themselves. It's not up to you to decide whether or not she's qualified to teach a class, and you'd have a bloody cheek to ask.

The teacher also does not need to be all buddy buddy with you and the parents. It's a professional role like a dentist or a doctor, not one of your mates. Your daughter seems to like her, which is the most important thing.

[Missonihoni]

I would ask the teacher about it.

Sorry but if a incomptent woman who thinks she needs the thread of her husband to rule a class taught my child ,I would be pissed off.

Unless her husband is the head or a police officer even - in which case she should refer to him as the head. Even still it's pathetic.

[Cynara]

DS is only 3, so at the moment DP and I don't walk with school-related politics, but when I read threads like this I worry that we're going to fail badly when the time comes to be parents of a school aged child, because honestly, neither of us could really give a shit about something like this. If you're concerned, surely the most rational and adult thing to do is to check with the teacher (the only other grown-up in the scenario) about what was actually said, before you go running to the Head with a bizarre "she said, he said" tale.

[Norestformrz]

I can't imagine any adult saying "I'm goi g to tell my husband if you don't behave." And how did you ask without putting words in your child's mouth?

[Cavender]

Her background isn’t your business.

The “husband” comment while odd probably makes complete sense in context of the conversation in class.


My kids get the bus to school, I only see their teachers at parents’ night and the occasional school event. I’ve always felt that was perfectly sufficient. The teachers need to get to know my child, they don’t need to know me at all.

[TittyGolightly]

Is her husband the headteacher?

[fluffypenguinbelly]

You have no idea of the context and what has been chatted about in class preceding the comment. Plus, more importantly, who bloody cares! Is you're child traumatised? Having nightmares about said husband? Move on.

[AmIthatbloodycold]

OP said. "In addition to complaining, I would like to know her background (where she has taught previously) as wonder if she’s ready to handle a class on her own. Do you think they’ll give me this info?"

No wonder we have such problems recruiting teachers.