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Parent teacher communication if you dont drop off or pick up

(69 Posts)
purplepixie47 Sat 13-Jan-18 10:57:49

I would like to hear from any teachers, or parents who don't drop off or pick up, as to how you communicate.
I use the breakfast club and after school club every day as I work. I therefore don't see the teachers. I have a home-school book for communication, but it is only ever really used by me if I have a question - they do not provide me with any voluntary feedback.
We are currently having problems as my son (age 5) is extremely unhappy, and I don't feel that the teachers are providing me with any communication, feedback or response!
I would like to know if it is a problem in all schools or particularly bad at this one.
The stress is killing me sad sad

Quickerthanavicar Sat 13-Jan-18 11:26:18

Book an appointment with the teacher, this can be via a phone call. And have a conversation with her/him.

superram Sat 13-Jan-18 11:35:32

It would be unreasonable for a teacher to write you notes unless there is a specific issue. You need to go in and raise any issues you have.

Appuskidu Sat 13-Jan-18 11:38:10

It’s not easy to communicate effectively with parents who never drop off or collect. Why don’t you write a letter or email explaining your concerns and asking for the teacher to ring you?

reluctantbrit Sat 13-Jan-18 11:38:44

We left a note with the teacher or emailed the office asking for an appointment. Unless there is a problem teacher do not put lots of information into the communication book. It is not pre school where they talk a lot about the child and what he/she did the day. Even on the days I dropped off/picked up I barely spoke to the teacher unless there was an issue.

Appuskidu Sat 13-Jan-18 11:42:52

If the stress is killing you, what haveyou done about it so far?

kittymamma Sat 13-Jan-18 11:51:33

I work full time so can't do drop offs and pick ups. I find a letter is the best way to communicate when there is a problem. They are very good at following it up with a phone call.

We still have communication issues though, the school are good at putting notices up in the window. Notices I never see. Drives me insane!

grasspigeons Sat 13-Jan-18 11:52:11

If you are used to a childcare type nursery then school can be a bit of a shock to be honest. I went from getting a daily note with some detail to nothing at all until parents evening. So I wouldn't worry that your school isn't good at communications just yet. ITs just a different game.

I find schools don't give you feedback unless things are going wrong in class. So for example you son may be very unhappy at home but if he is engaged in what they are doing at school and behaving ok then the school probably wont feed that back to you.

The best thing to do is to email/phone the office and ask for a telephone appointment (remembering teachers teach so can't come to the phone straight away) you don't need to be cagey about why you are calling just say 'I'm calling because my child is struggling and I want to see how he is at school and how we can work together to help him'

FitBitFanClub Sat 13-Jan-18 12:04:13

With thirty 5-year olds in the class, are you seriously expecting unsolicited volunteered information regularly? shock
If so, yes, YABU.
If you're that concerned, get them to phone you, or book a meeting after school one day and arrange to leave work early.

purplepixie47 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:10:07

I requested a meeting or a phone call via the communication book, but they didn't respond!

Temporaryanonymity Sat 13-Jan-18 12:11:40

Our school uses class dojo. Anything that goes on the class window gets posted on dojo. It's a bit like a very private Facebook. There is a PM system so I can contact the teacher directly. I use it very sparingly though, I have used it when my oldest wad bullied to let the teacher know and to agree an appointment but have never used it for my youngest. It is really good.

purplepixie47 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:13:20

Helpful comments only please - I am clearly upset, and yes I have written numerous notes and talked to the office on many occasions. I was asking for advice, not criticism.

partydownseason2 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:14:52

Maybe they don’t have time to go in to your little ones bag every day and get it out? Phone the school or email to request a chat, that’s more likely to get a reply.
Is the book something all the children have? As I teacher of 5 year olds i definitely do not have time to write voluntary information for a child every day. I don’t speak to the parents who pick up either unless there is an issue.

purplepixie47 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:19:37

He has to give them the book if I've written something to them. He's the only one who has it. I wouldn't expect feedback every day or even once a week if things were fine. Just since I've written these concerns and how unhappy he is (to the point if saying he wants to kill himself.. at the age of 5), that they should have taken the time to respond, or arrange a meeting or phone call as I asked.

Temporaryanonymity Sat 13-Jan-18 12:19:40

If there is an issue and the notes haven't worked then you need to ring and ask for the HT.

IncaAztec Sat 13-Jan-18 12:22:05

I think communication is an issue in most schools. At my DCs school they have a journal for communications and ClassDoJo email. I find email more effective as I work too. It's not 100% tho.

I'm also of the opinion that school isn't set up for full-time work (mums or dads). Its not right but I think it's true. It's a historical thing rather than anything deliberate.

I also get annoyed when they insist on telling you irrelevant things but don't want a proper conversation about your DCs learning!

partydownseason2 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:26:13

I agree with PP, if the class teacher isn’t responding then phone the head of year/phase/HT and ask for a meeting.

purplepixie47 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:27:21

Thank you. I did ask about being able to have email contact with the teacher but they weren't willing to do it. I guess I'll just have to continue doing what I'm doing...

purplepixie47 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:28:46

His teacher is the phase leader for KS1 (!) I think she is too busy generally, as she's always forgetting things, dismissive of things he takes in as she's too busy...

LalalaLeah Sat 13-Jan-18 12:30:12

Its very poor they haven't arranged the meeting but they may not have seen the note. Speak to the office and say that you need the teacher to call you urgently

partydownseason2 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:30:49

Some schools are very unwilling to give staff emails out as unfortunately some parents abuse this. It sounds like this isn’t being taken seriously though so I would definitely phone the office direct on Monday and ask to speak to HT.

catkind Sat 13-Jan-18 12:31:20

Aw that sounds worrying. Something clearly going wrong in the communication here if they still haven't got back to you.

I wouldn't as a matter of course expect any feedback from school till parents' evening. BUT if you've had a specific concern and asked to have a call/meeting, I would expect to hear back within a week say to make an appointment. If they have home/school books someone must be checking them at least once a week. So I'd wonder if a message had got lost somewhere, or your DS hasn't worked out where/when he's supposed to be handing the home/school book in, or TA thought teacher had already dealt with it and the message didn't get passed on or something.

I find email is very useful. Most primary teachers don't give out addresses but you can email the office FAO Teachersname and they will print it out or forward it. Then you've got a dated record of when you made contact. And maybe CC the head if their address is published, if it's been a while and multiple attempts to make contact have failed. I wouldn't necessarily make complaining noises at this stage, just say you're not sure what the best way to make contact is, you've tried xyz with no response, you're very concerned and would like to speak to the teacher urgently.

grasspigeons Sat 13-Jan-18 12:41:57

So they haven't responded to the note and you request for a phonecall has gone unanswered.

That is a bit more worrying than not getting unsolicited feedback.

I think in that case I'd write formal email/etter addressed to the HT saying ' I have phones/emailed on x,y,z and wrote in the home school book on y and not had a response. The concerns are of a serious nature so I would now like to have an opportunity to discuss them with yourself and the class teacher.

Also does your school have a homeschool link worker. If so request they are at the meeting too

purplepixie47 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:51:00

Thanks all. I'be not heard of a homeschool link worker, but it sounds like something we could do with! If I don't get a response on Monday to the next note I've written, I'll call the office. My son is quite good at telling me whether she's looked at the book.

partydownseason2 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:57:49

I should add I wasn’t suggesting phoning the HT to complain but in a positive way to find a way forward for everyone.
Good luck!!

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