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Do you celebrate children moving up a table?

(35 Posts)
DoublyTroubly Fri 12-Jan-18 13:04:02

Hi

When a primary aged child moves up a table / group, do you celebrate? Especially if they have been working particularly hard?

I’m in 2 minds about this because:
1. I don’t want it to look like failure if they move down a group next time
2. Their hard work has already been celebrated when they bring home stickers / certificates from school

Thanks x

AuntLydia Fri 12-Jan-18 13:07:40

I wouldn't even know to be honest confused. It's not made a big deal in my kids school thankfully. We might treat them for a good report or parents evening but that's fuck all to do with academic achievement and more to do with attitude and effort. What if your child's hard work hadn't resulted in a table move? Surely the hard work is the thing not the result? Especially as your child can't help who they are in a class with.

BertrandRussell Fri 12-Jan-18 13:10:27

Absolutely not!

Sirzy Fri 12-Jan-18 13:11:57

I don’t pay that much attention to tables to care!

Didiusfalco Fri 12-Jan-18 13:13:58

No, I try to emphasise to mine that every one has different skills and abilities and effort is the most important thing.

TeenTimesTwo Fri 12-Jan-18 13:16:19

No. (Not that my DDs ever did).

At secondary we also didn't/don't celebrate when DDs move up sets, though we do verbally link the moving up to all their efforts paying off.

Generally what table/set you are in is dependent on the other pupils as well as your own. So we celebrate overcoming an obstacle or working hard, not relative position to others.

Ginmummy1 Fri 12-Jan-18 13:18:43

No.

OK, so moving up a table is likely to indicate that the child is showing improvement (assuming the table really are ‘ability’ tables, which they may not be), but it might instead mean that another child has fallen behind.

Also, what if your child is working really hard and doing pretty well, but a few other children have suddenly surged ahead (because progress is not always consistent). Would you punish your child if that happened? Would you express disappointment? Judging a child on their progress compared with that of their peers feels unhealthy to me.

irvineoneohone Fri 12-Jan-18 13:26:23

Sound bonkers tbh.

brilliotic Fri 12-Jan-18 13:27:52

I would keep the following two things separate:

a) Have a chat about how their hard work has paid off. Point out that your child now has evidence that they CAN do as well as anybody else if they only put their mind (and effort) to it. Discuss how good it feels to achieve something you worked hard for (in contrast to just being lucky).

b) At a different time show your child that you are aware of, and approve of, their hard work/effort. Recognise it and if you feel your child would be motivated by an external reward, say something like "As you have been working really hard for the last x weeks, without moaning and without me having to nag you, I feel you deserve a little reward" and point out that you really approve of your child's developing work ethic. So as that you reward the effort, rather than the result. But some may say that the good feelings/extra skills that come with the successful hard work are reward enough.

But I would be wary of giving my child the impression that I care about which table they are on. I do care about their progress, but don't link that with tables or their position within the class!

monkeywithacowface Fri 12-Jan-18 13:28:08

What an awful idea!

restbiterepeat Fri 12-Jan-18 13:29:34

No. How do you even know they've moved up a table and haven't be <whispers> relegated?

Owletterocks Fri 12-Jan-18 13:33:31

We wouldn’t even know in our school. The kids sit on tables in colour groups I have no idea where he is in relation to others. Having said that if my ds was happy and proud of himself for moving up a table I would be happy for him and treat him for working hard

Super123 Fri 12-Jan-18 13:34:25

I definitely wouldn't.

What I do is regularly encourage resilience and working hard to achieve what they want. I verbally praise achievements they've shared with me.

I also regularly remind them that there is a lot more to life than academic achievement and it's just as important to be kind and considerate.

Believeitornot Fri 12-Jan-18 13:35:14

No?! Hahahahaha

I wouldn’t know anyway unless I asked.

AppleAndBlackberry Fri 12-Jan-18 13:37:54

No. My DD's teacher moves the tables around weekly based on a task they do at the start of the week. If your school is similar then moving up this week may not be permanent so it would be better not to make a big thing of it. Celebrate a particular piece of work or achievement but not which table the child is on.

Laniakea Fri 12-Jan-18 13:39:32

No that would be really weird confused

RicStar Fri 12-Jan-18 13:42:28

Thankfully there are no such tables at dc school.

thethoughtfox Fri 12-Jan-18 13:42:43

From the umpteen parenting / education books I have read, all agree that rewards erode intrinsic motivation. Try to leave success as its own reward or you may end up a child who only wants to work for rewards.

SavoyCabbage Fri 12-Jan-18 13:46:18

Hell no! Worst.Idea.Ever! The pressure!

MidnightExpress1 Fri 12-Jan-18 13:50:50

Do schools still do this? Ds have tablets but it’s not disclosed on ability.

DoublyTroubly Fri 12-Jan-18 13:50:52

Thanks everyone, it looks like my gut was right

To those who asked, my DC told me that they have moved tables. I know which tables are which from helping out in the class. Thinking about it, I’m not sure if they are even aware that they have moved up rather than just changed tables if you see what I mean.

BarbarianMum Fri 12-Jan-18 19:23:29

I think I'd probably tell them "well done" and to keep up the good work. And they'd probably tell their dad when he got home and he'd do likewise. No jelly, ice cream or balloons here I'm afraid.

MiaowTheCat Fri 12-Jan-18 20:28:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roomba Fri 12-Jan-18 20:31:57

I'd have no idea if DS moved up a table. Well actually they don't do the tables grouped by ability anyway but do different reading and maths groups. DS has no idea which is the top group though I have a suspicion that Tiger and Lion groups are 'higher' than Squirrel... I may comment if he goes up a book band, but that's generally because he complains the book is too hard so I point out that's a good thing as he's moved up and can learn more now.

treaclesoda Fri 12-Jan-18 20:35:44

My children approach schooling as if they have signed the officials secrets act. I have no idea what gets on there, so changes of table etc tend to pass me by. Which could be good or bad I suppose.

It's fortunate that there are parent teacher meetings...

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