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Upset with school

(9 Posts)
teabag20048 Tue 14-Nov-17 19:33:05

My dd feels left out in class theres 11 girls. Shes in y4 has had a bff since y1. She can be very controlling of dd which I have spoken to teachers about. DD now seems to realise what she's doing and has started to break away, this girl is being mean to her (have spoken to head of year about this), DD is finding it very hard to build new friendships and is questioning why people don't like her and getting really upset. She has never liked School and this is making it a whole lot worse.

rotavixsucks Tue 14-Nov-17 19:35:09

OP, please could you clarify why you are upset with the school? It is not clear from your post

CappuccinoCake Tue 14-Nov-17 19:39:07

It can be hard in a really small class. Are there other classes in the year she can play with? Have you spoken to the teacher?

teabag20048 Tue 14-Nov-17 19:52:25

Not upset with the school. But DD upset with going to school.
I have spoken to the head of year who has been really good, spoken to girl and class. The class isn't small theres 28, 11 of them girls.

rotavixsucks Tue 14-Nov-17 19:56:13

It's a common part of growing up I think...not that it helps. Does the teacher do group activities where students are grouped randomly? That may help integrate her with others and get them to interact on the same level.

teabag20048 Tue 14-Nov-17 22:04:55

Teacher hasn't been helpful which is why I have gone to the head of year about it. We have had girls round to tea and DD has only been invited back to one of theirs.

Ellie2015 Tue 14-Nov-17 22:16:30

Have no advice here but just wanted to say I feel so sorry for your DD for having to feel this way. She is so little for this harsh experience. Hope experienced mummies here can give you some advice here. Wishing your DD the best xx

RedSkyAtNight Wed 15-Nov-17 08:08:34

I think girls breaking off friendships is extremely common at this type of age as they start to develop different interests, and some girls are more mature. Your DD's issue is that her potential friendship group is so small, she is going to struggle to make new friends. Is there a parallel class where she can get to know others?

My own DD coped with this stage by making an entirely new set of friends in Y4, another set in Y5 and another set in Y6 - but she had the luxury of 63 girls in her year with a fair number joining each year. In your DD's case, is there a girl that perhaps she's not really bothered with before that she might pal up with - just to reset the class friendship dynamics.

BubblesBuddy Wed 15-Nov-17 10:07:57

I think the other girls have seen your DD as not needing a friend because she had one. Just one friend seldom works and I was wondering if the school mixed up the classes for anything such as maths and English. Can she work with other girls or play sport with them?

In my experience this is the age when friendships fluctuate and it is distressing for those who are left out. I think at least try and be friends with the girl who did reciprocate the tea invite and see if they can do something together at the weekend and have a longer treat - cinema or a meal out? You could ask the school to keep an eye on her at lunch to check she is playing ok and not left on her own. I think that it is incredibly difficult to influence friendship groups. Is there another school with places within reach?

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