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Need your perspective

(14 Posts)
OctoberRainIsLovely Tue 17-Oct-17 20:42:54

Name changed for this since potentially outing. Please if you recognised my posting style, I appreciate you don't out me!

Dc is a mixed race child. Recently had parent evening and everything seemed fine.

Today my dc came home and broke down and started crying. Few children in dc's class has been very mean and calling names, racial one, for a while.

Now I know this can potentially cause a massive blow up. I know school are hot on racial name calling .
I don't think those children are really aware what it means to say those things to my child. But my child is suffering.

I want to mention this to the teacher so the teacher can do something about it. But I don't want to cause too much of a big issue out of this either.

I would like to ask, especially teachers in upper ks2. (But all the advice welcome and appreciated.)
What should I do? If I mention this to the teacher, how can I approach this issue without making a big issue out of it?
How do you, or your school deal with things like this?


OctoberRainIsLovely Wed 18-Oct-17 05:57:40


HoneyWheeler Wed 18-Oct-17 06:21:20

You definitely need to contact the school. Do they have a Family Liaison/Support worker at the school? That might be the best place to start.

Then I would contact the teacher and ask for a meeting - I prefer it when parents email me with a few details so I can do some preliminary digging to find out what’s been going on. Then just say what’s been happening and ask them to look into it! They will definitely want to help.

It might be worthwhile asking your child to write down exactly what happened and when? Good idea to do so going forward as well.

MyOtherProfile Wed 18-Oct-17 06:25:13

I want to mention this to the teacher so the teacher can do something about it. But I don't want to cause too much of a big issue out of this either.
You wont be causing a big issue. It already is a big issue and needs firmly dealing with. Schools rightly take racial name calling v seriously. Please do go and speak to the teacher.

FAkenameforthis Wed 18-Oct-17 06:37:44

Of course you contact the School! Just let the teacher know what your DC has said, and leave it with them. Ensure you know what they will be doing and talk to your child about it.

My school would have yr5/6 in lunchtime detention for racial name calling and a child of any year in internal exclusion for the day if it had been going on for a while.

ChangingStates Wed 18-Oct-17 06:38:07

It is a big issue, your son is really upset. Speak to the teacher as it needs to be dealt with. I work in a restorative school so would talk to your son first and then get him together with the others so he could explain to them how he feels and they understand the impact of what they are saying, I would support him with this. If they are truly not aware this would be enough, if however it is intentional name calling and bullying further steps would be taken. Whatever your schools approach they need to know about it and deal with it.

SandLand Wed 18-Oct-17 06:51:22

School need to know.

I think I'd send a brief email "Dear teacher, just to let you know Son has been upset after school, as he is being called x,y and Z by Kevin and Gary in his class. Regards October"

You aren't making a fuss, but you are letting the teacher know the adverse effect on your son.

OctoberRainIsLovely Wed 18-Oct-17 06:56:49

Thank you. Appreciate your replies.

LadyPenelope68 Wed 18-Oct-17 06:58:53

I’m an Upper Ks2 teacher. This really IS a big issue, so please don’t think you’ll be making a fuss. You need to speak to the Head at the School not the class teacher, as it will be something that needs looking into fully under proper guidelines. Within our Authority, and I assume others, for all racial incidents in a school they will have procedures they have to follow, and it will be the Head that does this. They are also reported to the Local Authority as well. Don’t feel like you’re making a fuss, your child is quite rightly upset about this and it needs dealing with appropriately. Hope your son is ok this morning x

Ummmmgogo Wed 18-Oct-17 07:03:39

I was a mixed race child who went through this. it was horrendous. luckily my mum was black so she understood and took it seriously, while my white dad tried desperately to minimise it.

I'm guessing from your reaction you haven't personally been racially abused? please please kick up a massive fuss at the school and make sure your dc is getting support from both sides of the family.

OctoberRainIsLovely Wed 18-Oct-17 07:15:37

Thank you both.

Ummmmgogo, I am the foreign one, and I do have experience. Dh is English and can be very hot-headed, so I need to be the sensible one.

It looks like unanimous. I will let the teacher/school know.

Thank you everyone, for advice.

Ummmmgogo Wed 18-Oct-17 07:17:32

my assumption was wrong then. but my point that it's hurtful when it's minimised still stands. good luck xx

SavoyCabbage Wed 18-Oct-17 07:22:27

I’m a mother of mixed race children and a primary school teacher.

I’d send Sand’s email as a factual and unemotional way to get the information across. Add in that you want to come in and talk about it if that’s what you want. This will give them a chance to investigate it.

You don’t say what they are saying but I can’t agree that KS2 children aren’t aware of what it means to chuck around racist names. Most of them will know it’s totally out or order. I doubt they are saying ‘pass the rubber please Paki’ right in front of the teacher.

The school might suggest that they are going to do some work on the PHSE side of things which might help.

As a family we use stuff like this to educate our own kids as it’s going to happen unfortunately. My two grew up in Australia so racism was in our faces all the time. We’ve given them ideas of what to say back and we build them up so they know they are the bees knees so it’s harder for a bully to take them down.

BubblesBuddy Wed 18-Oct-17 22:48:02

Schools have a policy which states how they deal with racial incidents so get a copy of it. The Governors monitor the policy and the Head must report racial incidents to them. If you don't say anything, how will they know the school is, or is not, dealing with incidents satisfactorily?

The school will speak to the children involved and may ask parents to come in to explain to them that hurt is being caused. You should report it but your DS must corroborate what you say or it is difficult to pursue it if the other children strongly deny it. He should, however, be fully aware that he doesn't have to tolerate this and, by reporting it, something will be done. If it's just you reporting what your DS says, as you were not actually there, it is secondhand. Do go with your son to the Head and explain what has happened and try and get your DS to understand why this is necessary. It's important.

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