Too much chatting in class

[Bitlost]

Back from parents' evening and DD's behaviour is not good. Lots of chatting, not much listening.

We've had this behaviour in year 1 and 2, no problem whatsoever in year 3 and here we go again in year 4.

There's the usual chatting, which I've got used to, but I was surprised to hear that she sometimes starts talking loudly while the teacher is addressing the class for example, like she almost forgets where she is. I was so surprised because she is very, very often praised for her excellent concentration skills -- by her dance teacher for example.

More worryingly, she's also been accused by a small number of children of inciting them to steal some items from school after they were caught red handed. This is so unlike her. She knows the difference between right and wrong.

She has very few friends and I'm just wondering if she's doing naughty things to get herself noticed, perhaps. Or is it just a phase of pushing boundaries? Or is it just kids being kids?

We've had numerous conversations about her behaviour she's been told off, she definitely knows what constitutes good behaviour.

Apologies for the rambling post. I kind of know something's wrong but can't really pinpoint what exactly is going on.

Any insights to share would be appreciated. Thank you.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

It does sound like something's wrong. I think I'd come down on her like a ton of bricks for the stealing thing regardless of the actually reason. Does she respond well to praise? Maybe that's why dance lessons are ok as there will be praise if she does something right,maybe there's not enough praise during lessons? Is she bright,being stretched enough?

[Bobbybobbins]

I agree with the poster above - I'm a teacher and I find most effective is lots of praise for good behaviour and work coupled with very firm tellings off and consequences for poor behaviour. Maybe try upping the praise but also upping the tellings off too?

[Bitlost]

Agree re:stealing. I still haven't got a straight story from her - probably because she doesn't want to admit to any wrongdoing.

I think she likes a bit of praise but I don't think she really cares all that much. Her teacher did say she would try and praise good behaviour more. We'll know soon enough if it works.

She's doing very well academically but teacher says she'd do even better if she listened. I find it hard to assess if she is challenged at school as she won't tell me anything she does at school. Only when she wants to please me, which is rare.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Possibly needs to be pushed a bit more then.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

With ds we worked with the school when he got chatty last year ( he's a teen so slightly different) we asked for a weekly update by email and if he'd been disruptive then there would be consequences- not doing a sport he absolutely loves. It turned out he hated his teacher and as a result didn't work 'to get her back' Not much praise resulting in things spiralling down hill fast. Anyway, he pulled his socks up and got great GCSE grades so it obviously worked. I think year 4 is old enough to realise that of she's disruptive then there will be a consequence and it's her choice as to wether to behave or not.

I wonder if her current teacher has talked to year 3 teacher to see if they can pass on any tips for getting the best out of your dd?

[MulberryMoon]

I was a terrible chatter at primary school, but i think starting to talk loudly when the teacher is addressing the class is strange. Have you had her hearing checked?

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Actually, that's a really good point wrt hearing.

[blanklook]

" she sometimes starts talking loudly while the teacher is addressing the class for example, like she almost forgets where she is."

" been accused by a small number of children of inciting them to steal some items from school "

"She's doing very well academically but teacher says she'd do even better if she listened."

Have a look into strategies to help poor impulse control.

" very, very often praised for her excellent concentration skills -- by her dance teacher for example."

Have a look at hyperfocus.

School probably aren't taking a lot of notice because so far she's academically able. They most likely wouldn't do much unless she's too disruptive or falls behind academically.
May be worthwhile having a word with the SENCO but be aware schools rarely see a pattern in a child's behaviour because they treat each incident as a separate issue, so do mention the poor impulse control and hyperfocus and see if they are amenable to implementing strategies at school to help her.

[Bitlost]

Thank you all. You've given me quite a lot to look into. Thanks again.