Am I asking for too much? How long does 'settling in' take?

[completelyawaywiththefairies]

DS started school in August (P1, Scotland) and we've reached the first half term. He is very likely to have ASD. He's not completely non-verbal but struggles to communicate.

The good points

• he loves school and his teacher
  
• he isn't horrifically over stimulated (the rest of the class seem just as ratty!)
  
• he is able to tell his teacher what he wants and needs
  

He just isn't really doing any work. He can absolutely definitely 100% count to 10 and knows his colours and shapes. I met with his teacher during the week and she said that he occasionally does sorting games or will randomly point to number 7 and say 7.

She was very positive and I really like and trust her. She was more concerned with him following routines without being overwhelmed. I just don't want lower aspirations for him because of his ASD.

I've actually just typed all this out and thought holy crap, what am I complaining about, he's happy. But any reassurance would be great.

[Kokeshi123]

Hmmm... What is P2 like at your school? It may be that they start off very informally and gradually ease the kids into more formal work over the course of a year.

[completelyawaywiththefairies]

The rest of the class are definitely doing some formal work, although I think there is a lot of play too. From what I can gather, DS sits with the children when they have their lesson but is kind of left to his own devices when they have to sit at their table.

[boylovesmeerkats]

My friends' son sounds similar, he has ASD and there is a big difference in what the teachers seem to expect of him and the other children (I've been told my son needs to be writing at home every day for example) they're in the same class and we've know each other for years. In all honesty though I'd prefer to let them.settle in more, I know my son will write more and better when he's settled. It took a few months for preschool, so I'm sure I'll look back on making him write in the early days as a waste of time if his mind is on something else.

I know in England they have early learning goals to hit so maybe sit down with her to find out what they are and agree which ones your child will struggle with and which ones are fine, and how you can support towards them? I know here it's very difficult that even if a teacher knows a child can do.something it rests on the the being able to articulate it...which is not just an issue for children with asd but also shy and ones lacking in confidence. It might not seem like much that he's settled in well but having seen it handled badly I think it's really, really important.

[completelyawaywiththefairies]

It might not seem like much that he's settled in well but having seen it handled badly I think it's really, really important.

DH was saying that to me this morning, that if they had gone hammer and tongs for handwriting we'd probably have a very unhappy boy. As it is he's very sad that school isn't open tomorrow!

Is it acceptable to do some work at home and put it in his book bag to show the teacher?

[BubblesBuddy]

No. Don't show the teacher work! Imagine if everyone did this. Work at home is one to one and not representative of school. Trust the teacher. She will bring him on and I don't think he is really left to his own devices.

When it is parents evening, ask to see his work (if it is not immediately available to you) and and for an assessment of progress. What can he do? Phonics, forming letters, colouring accurately, number work etc. What sounds/reading is coming home to practice?

[monkeywithacowface]

He sounds very similar to how my son was (also has ASD) when he started school. I wouldn't worry to much about his formal learning at this stage I would concentrate on his speech and language development and attention and listening skills. I found that with DS once those started to improve his academic side start to fly in terms of progress.

I would however want a clear idea of what they are doing with him in school. Being left to his own devices is good. If he can't do what the other are doing then he should be doing something else that they have set to help him develop his skills.